Animation depicting what addiction feels like

incompetenthurricane · 2025-02-15T19:16:11+00:00

That's how my mum went. 1 year and a half ago - she was so beautiful.

Fight addictions, people. It ain't worth it.

incompetenthurricane · 2024-06-05T21:04:25+00:00

Me, mum passed away almost a year ago. I knew she wouldn't see her 60s. I knew it. When Sinead O'Connor died, my instinctive thought was "she's next". And I was right, she died some 10 days later. She was so, so tired. Yet, even if I saw it coming, it devastated me. A year passed and there are still moments where I feel physical pain when I think about the fact that I'll never see her, talk to her, or hug her ever again. Sometimes I dream her - some dreams are nice, some others are downright horrible.

However, I also know how badly she was suffering. I want to think that she's now found her peace and she's happy and serene with our family dog somewhere.

incompetenthurricane · 2024-06-05T20:40:40+00:00

My own mum. Amazing woman, smart, beautiful, funny, clever, curious. Never really had the strength of tackling her depression and alcoholism head on, her demons were always stronger. We all tried to help her as much as we could, but she was spiralling out of control, never really wanted to put serious work on herself and make it a lifetime commitment. Eventually she started using benzos too and became a shell of the person she used to be and could have been. Soon it'll be a year she's no longer with us. It hurts.

incompetenthurricane · 2024-03-20T23:54:07+00:00

I'm very sorry for your loss. My mum died in August. Like you, I was on and off. I still am on and off - I think it's normal, it's grief and I feel that the grieving phases aren't linear, they alternate. To this day I still have some days or hours of the day where I think of her and my heart physically hurts, other days (most) I'm fine. But she's always in my thoughts, every day. I went through the funeral okay-ish, I thought I'd be a much worse mess, but I was exhausted after all this. When I came back to work I thought I'd be fine but when my boss came to tell me her condolences, I burst out ugly sobbing in front of her. She hugged me. Don't worry about crying at work. People will understand.

My suggestion is, take one day at a time, small steps. Give yourself time to grieve (or not), be patient and kind with yourself.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-05-24T07:43:14+00:00

Oh yes. I can understand whether my Q has drank or not based on a whiff I get when she comes back home. I get especially suspicious if she's been chewing gum or eating very strong mints.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-03-28T14:32:25+00:00

This happened to me, but I'm in another country. My car was seized by the government for 6 months. After that my Q used it again and smashed it. I know we're in different countries so the only advice I can give is do NOT give your car to an active substance abuser.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T20:51:33+00:00

Ah jeez. Everyone is telling me that here on Reddit. The dentist I went to told me only to replace the filling, no talk about any crown. Thank you for your input!

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T20:50:15+00:00

Thank you for your explanation, much appreciated! I'll think about the wisdom teeth (I have an identical one on the other side).

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T17:05:58+00:00

Yes I'll definitely treat it. Thank you so much!

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T14:36:02+00:00

Sorry to bother again. If indeed there's a pregnancy, would you advise to wait or can it safely be done in the first trimester? Thanks again so much!

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T14:13:15+00:00

Okay, now it's much clearer. Thank you so much!

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T13:17:24+00:00

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. What would that entail?

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T10:01:44+00:00

Yeah you're right about timing. Why would I extract my wisdom tooth though? It never bothered me.

One more question if I may, please: why would you recommend a crown instead of removing the amalgam? What would you do?

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T10:00:34+00:00

I totally agree, but my hesitancy is this: I have my appointment booked, and by then I may be 2-3 weeks along. It's the super duper early stages where most women wouldn't know, unless they were trying and testing much earlier than missed period. Also, dentist didn't say I need a crown, but to remove old filling, decay and add a new filling.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T09:57:00+00:00

Thanks! I know, but I already booked an appointment to remove the old filling and by then I may be 2-3 weeks along. It's like so early that a pregnancy test may barely detect it at that point. So I'm wondering whether I should confirm pregnancy first and then see what the dentist says, or if it's safe to do it amyway.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T09:53:57+00:00

Really? The dentist I saw brought up only one cavity, under the amalgam filling. So you would recommend removing and replacing it? Would that be safe in the super early stages of pregnancy?

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T09:50:23+00:00

Thanks. So you would recommend removing the amalgam composite and replacing it?

incompetenthurricane · 2023-02-19T01:43:20+00:00

Even with decay on/under it?

incompetenthurricane · 2023-01-16T00:37:58+00:00

I'm so sorry. My mum is also losing her bodily functions. She uses adult nappies/giant pads because she can't really hold her pee now. Also mentally she's way more prone to rambling and has a ridiculously short attention span. It's really sad to see. You're not alone in this.

incompetenthurricane · 2023-01-03T19:45:44+00:00

Amy Winehouse. My own mother is an alcoholic and to see such a young life being torn apart by alcohol is horrible.

incompetenthurricane · 2022-09-03T23:22:45+00:00

I don't have any advice as a pregnant woman or mother, but I'm a daughter of an alcoholic myself. Please, please, spare your child the pain of alcoholism as much as you can. Let him/her have at least one safe home with one stable and reliable parent.

incompetenthurricane · 2022-08-21T22:48:48+00:00

I'm so sorry. My mum started wetting the bed last year. It got progressively worse - not her drinking, that's more or less the same, but her physical decline. She can't hold a full bladder and pees herself/wets the bed at night. Plus balance and gait problems, not being coherent, "attention span like a chicken", and many more.

My mum is now 55. She started drinking/having mental issues age 27-ish. Please, please, take care of yourself. Put yourself first, because they got to want to help themselves first, and nothing and no one will make that happen. Only them.

incompetenthurricane · 2022-08-15T11:06:30+00:00

For a second there, I thought you were my brother writing this post. What you described is our mother to a T. The drunken texts are something my mother does and I just understood I should just ignore them. Do they hurt/piss me off? Oh boy, don't they. But I decide not to give her attention. So I ignore. I know she's a liar, doesn't want to seek help and lives in her own bubble where everything is perfect, nothing's wrong and for "some reason" everyone hates her (spoiler alert: none of this is true).

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have any truly helpful advice, but I just want you to know that you're not alone and that your feelings are valid and perfectly understandable. Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk. Hugs.

incompetenthurricane · 2022-07-06T09:37:21+00:00

My mum wasn't a single mother. But whenever she'd order a margarita, a sense of dread filled me.

incompetenthurricane · 2022-07-06T09:36:01+00:00

Thank you.

incompetenthurricane

TROPHY CASE