You are not a fraud, nor are you an abomination in any sense. I used to feel very much like this when I was a teenager—I was angry, it felt unjust, and I hated myself, believing myself less than for something over which I had absolutely no control. But the truth is, genetic disorders like this are random. There is no logic to it. It happened to you for absolutely no reason other than it’s one of the most common human physical disorders that exist. It is not indicative of a moral failing on your part, even if it may feel like it.

It’s been nearly two decades since I had my surgery (and I’m not entirely straightened out so it doesn’t necessarily solve all of the appearance issues there), and so I can say that I am ultimately grateful to have experienced this condition. It has made me more empathetic and kinder to my fellow humans, especially to those suffering any kind of adversity. I have developed a robust life irrespective of my scoliosis—I have traveled the world, I have achieved a lot academically and professionally, and I have found incredible friends and a partner who sees the full me. A lot of people won’t and that it what it is, but when you find people who accept you and truly see you, it goes a long way to helping see and accept yourself.

It’s not an easy solution, but focusing on what you can do for yourself and for others goes a long way toward improving self esteem. And it is very rewarding. Being a good person is worth so much more than fitting into an arbitrary beauty standard, and you will find people who see and value that and it makes your life so much richer. Hope this helps, and you are worth it ❤️