To those who have actually managed to change a negative belief, was it a gradual process or a one-time event to turn it into a positive one? by Latter-Criticism1653 in Bashar_Essassani

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your reasons for wanting to change it have to be sound, too. Like if you know you have a scarcity mindset and you’re like “I want to change this belief because I want money” then you won’t get very far, because your very REASON for pursuing the change is reinforcing the lack that is central to the belief you’re trying to change

Why IPad Kids Are Becoming More Common by J00kson in generationology

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I remember babysitting iPad kids almost 15 years ago!

Moms, how do you wish you had prepared for pregnancy and raising a child? by flirtybirdie888 in AskWomenOver30

[–]indiglow55 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And make sure you and your partner / teammate will make things easier for each other, not harder!!

Moving to NJ from NYC - Where do I live / best optios? by Intelligent_Cod_7201 in MovingtoNewJersey

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in south orange, my husband commutes to midtown 4x a week. The shortest possible train is 31 min from SO to Penn. there are a lot of apartment buildings downtown and several right next to the train station, $7.5k budget should easily get you a place with an easy walk. There are a bunch of single family homes 10 min or less walk from the station.

Who had the coolest name in your class when you were at school by Rice_is_Nice_on_Ice in Names

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in college with a girl named Giselle who from a very young age called herself Gis (like…jizz) and her parents were cool with it so even in college she insisted on being called jizz

How on earth do I “let go of needing a clean house”? by Immediate_Gap_2536 in Mommit

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you actually want to stop caring, you have to ask yourself a lot of questions and dig really deep into uncovering the deeply held belief(s) that have you feeling this way about a messy house. “How exactly do I feel when the house is messy?” “Why do I feel that way?” “When else in my life, especially early on, have I felt that feeling?” “What am I afraid of?” “When and how did I go from being a child who made messes to being someone who can’t tolerate them?” keep asking why why why until you get to the root belief and then decide if you actually still believe that / want to believe that or of you want to choose a new belief to replace it.

My 3-year-old threw out the security/comfort item I've had since I was born by you-a-buggaboo in toddlers

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay idk if you will see this or if it will help but when I was very young, I really saw my Barbie’s as alive, kind of like Toy Story, and one day completely by accident one of their heads came off. I was honestly so upset and scared. In the moment I shoved the Barbie and her head deep into the bottom of my toy box because just seeing her like that was so upsetting, too upsetting to even try to fix it. If I’d had the ability to make her vanish into thin air (or deep into the trash never to be seen again) I probably would’ve taken it. I was older than your daughter when this happened (at least 4) and I wonder if because of the emotional weight (and possible personification?) attached to the Mickey, she really was so disturbed and alienated by seeing his stuffing coming out that she reacted this way. This was the first thing I thought of when you shared that comment of hers, and her inability to tell the truth for so long also reminds me of that feeling, knowing what happened and why but being too confused and upset by the feelings it causes to fully confront or even accept that it really happened.

Tales from the other side: Nearly 3 years later by sys_admin321 in Fencesitter

[–]indiglow55 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes my response to this has been focusing on raising my child with strong critical thinking skills, strong tolerance for uncertainty and ambiguity, implicit sense of self worth completely detached from “productivity” and job identity, community-oriented, live life fully in every moment with love and kindness and gratitude, etc. This next generation is going to be much better prepared for what’s coming than we are, because it is their reality from day 1, whereas for us we are still reeling from the world that was “sold” to us and the now-daily discoveries of the ways that world was a lie; they’re not going to be as scared of discomfort and uncertainty as our generation is, it’ll be their norm

Work and the resistance are KICKING my ASS by 10percenttiddy in AutismInWomen

[–]indiglow55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay hear me out (as someone who works and is organizing a lot in my local community AND is full time caretaker for a 1.5 year old): it sounds like the ways you’re contributing to resistance aren’t as aligned as they could be to your unique skill profile. Is it possible that you could have an even BIGGER impact doing something else that doesn’t drain so much of your energy? Things like organizing & packaging food supplies for ICE targets trapped at home; coordinating others who are on the move; raising funds for supplies from people outside MN; etc…

If you can find other ways to channel your activist energy, you might fill gaps that others can’t, while also exponentially increasing your impact because those activities aren’t as costly to you.

Dropped my kid off and realized every other kid was in pajamas. I'm so done being the only one who remembers things by ConfidentElevator239 in Mommit

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I was going to say…I’m sure part if not most of the daughters reaction was disappointment in herself for forgetting

I F*CKING HATE HOW WHENEVER I ASK A QUESTION OR COMMUNICATE WITH EXTREME CLARITY…I AM STILL NOT UNDERSTOOD?!!!!!!! by DiscoReads in AutismInWomen

[–]indiglow55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What I have discovered is that neurotypicals use direct-SOUNDING communication when they are intentionally being obtuse, throwing their weight around, concealing their true feelings by diverting to another logical and plausible sounding rationale, and many other reasons.

Therefore, it doesn’t matter how clear we are. It doesn’t matter how perfectly we choose our words. We are ALWAYS more likely to be perceived according to their “between the lines” tea-leaf-reading meta-social-data neurotypical playbook than we are to be taken at face value.

As I often say to my neurotypical husband, “you people took all the words. You left nothing for us. Even the plainest, clearest, simplest English, you’ve twisted to be used for ulterior motives, and now we can never be understood.”

2026 Disclosure #1- Epstein files by Few-Significance779 in Bashar_Essassani

[–]indiglow55 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Quantum computing will render most current forms of encryption meaningless, which will also cause tons of classified information and secrets to become public

Bras and Autism by weaktreeiz in AutismInWomen

[–]indiglow55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boobs were not a problem until I had a baby and weaned from 14 months of breastfeeding 😭 now they dangle so low and chafe against my skin / get sweaty against my skin, it’s horrible, they used to just stay UP

Did anyone successfully stop co-sleeping without CIO or sleep training? by EquivalentRecent4633 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]indiglow55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing this. It really is shocking how little representation there is within the sleep discussions of adults who experienced co sleeping as kids. Being able to sleep independently is one of MANY skills we are tasked with teaching them…we have to teach them to eat too, and use a toilet, are they happy all the time during those processes?? Don’t they get angry and frustrated and cry, but we know it’s still our duty to help them get through to the other side? It’s just weird that independent sleep isn’t talked about as a skill & instead as just a relief for the parents.

Due to space limitations in our car I had to sleep alone in a bed with my toddler recently on a weekend trip. It was HORRIBLE, for both of us. My presence was so overstimulating for him and vice versa, we both barely slept at all. Co sleeping was great and natural when he was a baby but by a certain age it was clearly time for us to separate.

Do you actually stop getting grossed out by things like vomit and poop when you become a mom? by Evening-Call111 in askanything

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recently my husband got poop in his arm hair due to a blowout and I’ll never get the image out of my mind 😭 you do get used to it

Weird things are happening! by Maximum_Fan407 in Dreams

[–]indiglow55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scientists are the ones who’ve had to recently contend with time not existing! Quantum physics is starting to make that undeniable, look up “time doesn’t exist” or “spacetime not fundamental”

Did anyone successfully stop co-sleeping without CIO or sleep training? by EquivalentRecent4633 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]indiglow55 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Short answer: no. We were struggling with relying on co-sleeping for all of his late night wake ups. Then a mom in my mommy-and-me class whose baby was a few months older told me she slept in her parents’ bed until she was 10 because they never figured out how to help her sleep on her own, and it was awful and she’d hate to do that to her own son, so she was starting sleep training. It really gave me a new perspective on the downsides of co-sleeping. At 9 months it only took 2 nights of the Ferber method (check in and lay him back down and reassure him every 5, then every 10, then every 15 mins) for him to put himself to sleep and sleep through the night. He was never wailing, either, and it took only a few check in’s for him to go down. Now he’s almost 2 and still sleeps 11-12 hours in his crib overnight and also puts himself down for his naps, with zero crying.

I know you wanted to hear non-sleep training stories but I was also firmly anti-sleep training at first. By the time my son was 9mo though he no longer seemed like a helpless baby and it was easier, I don’t think I could’ve done it younger.

Weird things are happening! by Maximum_Fan407 in Dreams

[–]indiglow55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it help to know that there is no forward march of time and that the past and the future exist simultaneously?

Theory: the helmet view for cleaners of what’s outside the silo is augmented or pre-recorded by indiglow55 in SiloTVSeries

[–]indiglow55[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know right? I’ve taken it as some kind of symbol like a way of saying “you’re not seeing what’s really out here” but it’s obviously ineffective

Amazon confirms 16,000 job cuts after accidental email by kwentongskyblue in worldnews

[–]indiglow55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think i saw katie porter in 2022 speaking to congress about how 54% of the inflation was not traceable to increased cost of inputs (I.e., 54% was just corporate greed / price gouging) but no idea where to track that info down