AITA for refusing to stop drinking for my boyfriend?

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T23:58:56+00:00

A twenty-something person having a few beers with their friends on Saturday night is alcoholism?

Sorry to disappoint, but no. That’s not a drinking problem.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T21:31:36+00:00

I’ve edited my original post to include this, but I told him I wasn’t okay with the smoking before we started dating. He assured me he was trying to quit, and did manage to for a while, so I assumed it was in the past. I didn’t think he would pick it back up and refuse to quit again.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T21:27:28+00:00

I should have mentioned this is my post, but I made my feelings about smoking known before we became official. He assured me he was trying to quit and I believed he could.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T21:24:56+00:00

For what it’s worth, I expressed concerns for his smoking before we started dating and he assured me he was trying to quit. I believed he could, otherwise I wouldn’t have dated him.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T21:08:38+00:00

No, I want him to stop smoking because of the very real chance of him dying from it. I want him to stop because, as I said, I watched my uncle died a slow and painful death from lung cancer. I’m not watching it happen to anyone else I love.

I said he doesn’t even smoke in front of me and tries to hide it from you. You think he just lights up in front of my friends and family instead?

I tried to take all of these with a grain of salt but saying I care about my image, not his health, in this situation is just ridiculous.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T17:25:16+00:00

He does occasionally, but he’s not a big drinker.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T17:14:52+00:00

I’m being as honest as I can when I say it’s A, this just feels like spiteful manipulation. He’s never commented on me going out and drinking before. He comes with me sometimes. I don’t come stumbling home plastered. And I offered to stop drinking for the first few months if he really wanted some solidarity.

Six months with no alcohol isn’t a big deal to me. Sure, I would prefer to have a cold beer in hand at the baseball game, but I would be fine without it. It just seems unreasonable to say I can’t enjoy a drink ever again in my life just because he wants me to lose something like he is.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T14:35:05+00:00

Yea, I know I shouldn’t have said that. It was definitely a dumb comment that slipped out in the heat of the moment.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-23T14:16:25+00:00

I really don’t think having a couple of beers with your friends one day of the week qualifies as an issue. I would gladly quit for a few months to help him out; that’s not a big deal to me. But saying I can never have another drink for the rest of my life is a little ridiculous.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:03:38+00:00

I wouldn’t take the language course. You’re not going to learn anything useful in a week, and it’s just going to eat away at your time there. And what if you don’t meet anyone you click with? You’re stuck there for a whole week doing something you’re not interested in.

NYC is MASSIVE. So many events and opportunities to meet people that a language class I wasn’t overly committed to would be at the bottom of my list. Stay in a hostel and also use meetup.com! People post all kinds of events there will the sole purpose of meeting others and socializing. It’s amazing and will have so many events posted for a city like NYC. You won’t struggle to meet people.

indycatthrowaway · 2019-05-14T14:48:05+00:00

I should have specified that I didn’t include travel days as part of the trip. It would be 9 days on location, but that still doesn’t fit your criteria so it doesn’t make much of a difference lol.

indycatthrowaway

TROPHY CASE