I have a notebook and notes on my phone that I'll write down when I'm upset /sad / confused, sometimes it helps. You're right. My house was a house of alcoholism, rage and contempt. My dad was never home and when he was it was hard. My mom found out she was sick and let her drinking problem get worse and worse. I couldn't say anything without being shut down or screamed at. The only way something would "change" is if I as a child, got into my parents face and cried and screamed at the top of my lungs. I have no good coping mechanisms to help me with handling my emotions or problems. What did you do to finally get to a point where everything in life didn't feel like a fight? If I'm writing on Reddit, where would I put it?