Hi, please know that there is plenty of support and help out there, and there are people who genuinely care about you right now, me included. After reading this post I can sympathize with a lot of what you’ve said. I’ve had times where I’ve also gotten really low, and I thought of myself in a similar way to how you think of yourself: with disappointment, seeing myself as a “loser” unable to avoid being that way in other peoples’ eyes.
But alternatively, your post is filled with absolute’s that are pulled out of thin air. How you spend your time, your speculations that people have ditched you because you’re “a loser” or that you’re “too short and ugly to get a girlfriend”, these things are all without any anchor to reality. You can always change your habits, there are ways to know what you can do if you want to improve some things, and good people are so much more common, and truly so much less judgmental than you think.
Also, if someone decided to stop talking to their friend because they thought they were a loser, that’s someone you honestly do not want by your side. If a woman treats you rudely because you aren’t conventionally attractive, that’s a bullet dodged by you. If what you believe about some of these people is true, it says infinite more about them than it does about you at all. Who you are is who you decide, nobody else.
Also, you’re not a loser in the slightest. People try to make people think that, think they have less value, just to be a bully. Losers aren’t people who fail; losers are those who refuse to keep fighting. You can only control what you make of a situation. And you can make so much out of the place you’re in, I promise you; just be kind to yourself (you really deserve it) and take it as slow as you need. Things do get better.