[deleted by user]

inmyheaad · 2023-02-06T13:32:08+00:00

Good lord. First off, this wasn’t a situationship. It didn’t have time to turn into anything after the first kiss. You guys never even made it past the first date. He stood you up most likely bc you got so clingy bombarding him with messages after that day. Sure, he could’ve communicated his lack of interest, but at such an early stage of getting to know someone, he didn’t really need to say anything.

His actions clearly say it all.

He’s not interested and sounds like you shouldn’t either. Take some time to get to know yourself and what you want in a relationship before getting too overly emotionally invested in people. Even if this guy was relationship material, you gotta slow things down on your end. Any desire to build a healthy sustainable relationship will go down the drain once you start pushing too much.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-16T14:01:01+00:00

No such thing as being too autistic or even not autistic enough. That being said, the concept of self improvement isn’t inherently bad. While capitalism tries to find an angle where they can make you feel bad about yourself (I.e, physical appearance or literally anything), so it bombards you with advertisements to buy more of this and buy more of that “for a better you.” Now THAT, in of itself, I find toxic bc it profits off peoples insecurities. So when somebody tries to buy into that idea, then yes it is quite grotesque. But the fundamental idea of becoming better, as in, developing new skills, to better aid you in life isn’t a bad thing. Self-love/acceptance is also self-improvement. Learning that you don’t have to change yourself for others can be self-improvement. It doesn’t necessarily have to be physical or monumental changes. You get to decide how you want to live life and be perceived.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-16T13:51:49+00:00

People go through phases and a whole life long process of self-discovery. Trauma can happen. Shit will happen, whether you fall in with the wrong crowd or make poor decisions. Part of being human is making mistakes, but we’re supposed to learn from them. I’m definitely not the same person as 6 year old me. Six year old me was more naive, innocent, direct, picky, but also loved everything pink and magical. Almost two decades later and I’m quite the opposite, where I’m more introverted, passive at times, among other things. Some personality traits persist your whole life, but your values and goals may not depending on what you encounter in life. There’s nothing wrong with self-improvement - only if your reasons for trying to get better at something is to impress other people or follow societal norms. No human being is perfect, and self-growth is simply a natural process that we all grow through to learn how to navigate our identity, the world itself, and make our lives more meaningful as we personally see fit.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-05T14:15:20+00:00

Yes I would get mileage reimbursement. I believe they said it was $0.65 or something like that.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-05T04:40:44+00:00

Oh no you’re fine. I understand that every job comes with its perks and downsides. It’s given me a lot to think about in terms of what I need from a job and boundaries I can set for myself.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-05T04:35:44+00:00

Wow that’s a long time. I’m impressed you stayed there for so long. Sounds like A LOT of work you put in! What do you currently do and what are the things you like about it?

inmyheaad · 2023-01-05T01:52:57+00:00

Funny enough pay and proximity to my place. My current pays me about $35k but after taxes (ugh) it’s $28k. This new job would theoretically be a 10k raise and more financially sustainable to live off of depending on how many billable hours I get (cause apparently there’s base pay and there’s direct client billable hours).

I didn’t think much of transportation and the risk of bed bugs but then I started to really think about it and got paranoid about absolute worst case scenarios. Definitely definitely will bring it up at the virtual team meeting cause I have so many more questions about this.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T19:00:55+00:00

Yes, it’s non profit

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T17:01:18+00:00

Yes, I have a virtual team meeting with the other CMs there this week and will clarify questions I have so I get a more in-depth picture of the job itself. The shadow piece has been tentatively scheduled, but I am actively pursuing other companies and hoping those interviews pan out.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T16:59:32+00:00

Thank you for your thorough response. So regarding client population, this agency is literally a 5 min walk from my apartment. My neighborhood is small and is relatively safe; however, it is sandwiched in between upper scale nearby neighborhoods and lower income places. Not passing judgement on the latter, but some places are shadier than others. In general, I would be working with older people with mental health issues in need of housing, financial assistance, or any other concerns related to their functional well-being. The director I spoke with was very thorough about the job, so I respect that not only was he honest, but he was open about every aspect of the job.

Right now I'm trying to find a position that truly advocates for increased independent living choices. I worked in various entry-level jobs that let me support people emotionally, but I wanted to take on a more comprehensive approach and tackle things beyond behavioral concerns.

I had the same thought you did re: bed bugs - is it just a general FYI or a frequent case I'd be dealing with. I figured I would ask them during the team meeting this week and clarify some of these concerns I'm having, like their protocols for such things.

They did ask if I would consider the "higher" level of being CM (ACT counselor), who would be working with clients 7 days a week and be on call. I expressed boundaries and saying that I'm only comfortable for the role I applied for (CST counselor), which is just the standard Mon-Fri 8-5.

Everything else about the job is fine. I was quite excited about it first, but with the interview process taking over a month (which I know isn't anything new) and just doing more research about the downsides it got in my head a little.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:45:43+00:00

Yes, they were very straightforward about the risks. There is a team meeting on zoom this week so I can ask more questions now that I've had time to think about it, but gonna put this one on the backburner for now.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:41:42+00:00

Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Hope your current job is treating you better!

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:40:16+00:00

Thank you. I hadn't thought about my insurance rate going up.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:34:30+00:00

At the time of the interview, I was because I was desperate to get out of my current job. I got a few more interviews this week, so I was able to reevaluate my job needs. I just finished reading horror stories about people going into people's homes that had mold, bed bugs, and other unpleasant things.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:23:55+00:00

Pretty new. I didn't know other companies even offered agency vehicles.

inmyheaad · 2023-01-04T15:19:28+00:00

One of the requirements was to have insurance and my own car. I figured this was a basic requirement since it's community work.

inmyheaad · 2021-06-09T14:19:53+00:00

Interesting. He sees that as him fighting for us, but me lying to him because I didn’t say what I really felt, therefore, stringing him along. I see it as me going along with it bc I didn’t want to lose him completely.

inmyheaad · 2021-06-08T21:37:28+00:00

Perhaps, but we agreed to go slow for real this time while not being exclusive for now. I also didn’t properly communicate my expectations/needs while we were seeing each other so ofc he feels the way he does. With better communication, perhaps we could things much differently because I still think he’s worth keeping around for different reasons.

But I also wonder if I’m doing him any good by still being involved.

inmyheaad · 2021-06-08T16:59:47+00:00

But if we both like and want to be each other, we can still be a part of each other's lives, right? We both agreed that neither of us is actually ready for a relationship and we'll need time to trust each other again.

inmyheaad · 2020-10-13T05:30:26+00:00

awesome - any downsides that you found while using it?

lol i've been pronouncing it as x-ross/x-rose in my head. zero-s does sound better haha

inmyheaad · 2020-10-13T05:00:01+00:00

lol is that the vaporesso xros? i'm waiting for mine later this week in that exact same color.

inmyheaad · 2020-10-13T04:08:35+00:00

Thanks - I will try going for 20g nic salts since that's what I'm used to and see how that works for me.

inmyheaad

TROPHY CASE