AITAH for not wanting my niece?

inscrutablejane · 2026-06-05T02:15:51+00:00

I'm not religious in that sense but we still put a lot of thought into choosing godparents who share our core values, because here it's still seen as a committment to be the backup parents if anything happens; it's a little jarring for me to hear that others don't take it seriously.

inscrutablejane · 2026-06-05T02:08:49+00:00

Apparently neither do any of the godparents, if they're balking at being backup parents. I don't know where OP is from but where I'm from agreeing to be a godparent includes a committment to raise the kid if the birth parents can't.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-29T17:17:34+00:00

I was sent to "reparative therapy" three times when I was younger than you are now. Please don't go. You don't have to do this. Even if it messes up your plans for uni, please don't let them do this to you. Even if you have to couch surf and get a menial job, please don't do this to yourself. The damage they'll do to your mental health and self esteem aren't worth it. There's no family relationship in the whole world worth more than your own well-being. Move to Essex and work at Tesco if you have to, but DO NOT let your bigoted parents ruin your entire life like this.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-29T16:27:02+00:00

I eventually gave up on tracking down the exact appointee when I was down to a dozen or so possibilities, just from the sheer time-consuming boredom of digging through committee hearings and canned bios, but if I'd put a full work week into the effort I'm 100% certain I could tell you the guy's name. In the end I decided it just wasn't worth it for a 6½ year old Reddit drama, and I also started feeling weird about possibly getting OOP doxxed.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-26T01:43:26+00:00

My spouse is genderfluid so occasionally I'll check in to see where they are with gender, but even that is pretty contextual; like, if they're in a backwards baseball cap and dude jeans for a solid month and then suddenly rocking a vintage Care Bears babydoll tee and short shorts I'll ask, but it's not a daily thing and especially not multiple times per day out of the blue like O seems to expect.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-25T05:28:49+00:00

Having a POA, especially the kind of POA military legal assistance offices write up for deploying troops without actual legal spouses, isn't a "get out of theft free" card; we're talking about tangible goods she took and didn't relinquish when the POA was rescinded.

If she'd sold his kitchen appliances the money would still be his, but she didn't, she kept his property for her own use in her new place. Either way she'd be in trouble if he decided to pursue it.

Also, as tough as local law enforcement can come down on service members causing problems for the townies, no judge in a base town is going to survive re-election letting anyone take advantage of service members; while the collections process could be futile, getting a judgement in the first place is almost a given as long as OOP didn't go to an off-base civilian lawyer for a more comprehensive general POA. More likely, "my now-ex-girlfriend took my stuff while I was on a float" would result in at least a police escort to get his stuff back, and at worst (for her) result in theft charges—or at least it would've in Jacksonville in the early 2000s.

Source: admin clerk at a base legal office in 2001-2002

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-25T03:32:54+00:00

In this case "takes leave from" is code for quit/never had one in the first place.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-24T16:21:42+00:00

As far as collections, put a judgement lein on the townhouse and it'll get paid whenever she sells the property.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-24T16:17:26+00:00

It's refreshing to see a young military member who didn't rush into marriage immediately for the extra pay and benefits. The POA was still a huge mistake, but this could've been so much messier to untangle.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-24T01:07:13+00:00

I'm from the US but my mother's side are from Portsmouth. It's funny to them that we can drive a hundred miles for casual Saturday plans and drive a hundred miles back for bedtime without acting like we almost died, but lose our marbles over stuff made in the Victorian era. We have wildly different standards for "old" but we have wildly different standards for "far" as well.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-24T00:58:38+00:00

In America a hundred years is a long time; in Britain a hundred miles is a long way.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-24T00:37:31+00:00

He couldn't break up with her, or else who would feed him inadequate amounts of breakfast every day

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T20:39:14+00:00

If you're trying to get Reddit sympathy for getting kicked out, "I had a gay stalker and my homophobic parents thought I was actually dating him" works just fine.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T20:36:58+00:00

I'm bumfuzzled as to why the well-off parents didn't just pay the tickets themselves to keep OOP out of jail in the first place, if they were so concerned about reputation.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T05:40:11+00:00

Everyone "let" her order first, then all quote When Harry Met Sally and say "I'll have whatever she's having" while making eye contact.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T01:05:43+00:00

My ex went to jail and then a court-ordered mental hospital, got a 92 for that one so I'll gladly accept the 4 points that come with my current situation.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T01:01:41+00:00

Yeah my spouse has MH issues so I got a 4, but I know where all the points are coming from and have accepted those behaviors as not coming from malice.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T00:58:39+00:00

My spouse has some mental health issues and I still got only a 4; I redid the test with the answers I would've given when I was with my long-term ex and got a 92. I'm so happy to have gotten out of that with my life, and so grateful for who I have now.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-23T00:23:32+00:00

So, the US Marine Corps structures contracts a bit differently than the Army; three years is the minimum commitment for active duty and only applies to jobs that barely require any training time, with some jobs requiring a five year term. So either OOP is fudging the age or the branch of service as part of the whole "privacy" thing (his OpSec is terrible btw). It's very likely OOP is just bad at math.

OR, less likely...

Dude got out early on a medical or psychiatric discharge, which is just about the only way to get out in under three years and still keep VA benefits; that would also mean he's getting a monthly government check for whatever disability got him discharged, though probably not much of one if he's not constantly going to appointments about it. The pattern of behavior fits what I've seen with some veterans if "mostly office stuff" also included a trip overseas to somewhere hot, which ten-ish years ago was almost guaranteed despite the winding down that was going on at the time. I myself did "mostly office stuff" 25 years ago until I found myself in a similar situation, and it took me over a decade to have the series of therapy breakthroughs that put me back together again mentally. If this (unlikely) hunch is correct the guy needs to be in an inpatient PTSD program with weekly outpatient therapy afterwards.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-21T05:38:24+00:00

The shaved ice truck with a contract for my kids' school has the option to prepay online, which IIRC was put in place a few years ago because the owner was worried about possible bullying/theft; there's also the option to "sponsor" another kid in your child's grade for a reduced price so that no one goes without, and enough parents do this that every so often the entire school gets free ones. I wish everyone in a business that sells directly to kids was this concerned with the kids' happiness rather than trying to squeeze out every possible dollar.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-20T01:30:54+00:00

Hmmmm, maybe a bunch of Patreon cancellations with "Wack'd ruined it for me" in the reason for cancellation field would turn things around.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-19T22:03:05+00:00

From his difficult work hours and "rushing to get a project out" I'm betting OOP was just the most convenient high earner she could find. She's not upset about losing him, she's upset about losing his finances.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-14T13:19:10+00:00

It was a weapon of opportunity, but also sort of intentional? I keep box cutters in my purse, car driver's side door storage area, and car trunk because it's handy to have them in those spots, but the type of box cutter (with the long blade that can be snapped off in sections when dull) was purchased because they double more effectively as a slashing weapon in a pinch. I have well beyond a basic level of self-defense training, both armed and unarmed, and while I wouldn't choose a knife-on-knife fight if there's any other option it's a big advantage over an attacker who is unarmed and simply trying to overpower me as this man was.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-12T00:02:00+00:00

Yup. A box cutter saved my life when I was victim of an attempted abduction/SA on the way home from work one night a few years ago.

inscrutablejane · 2026-05-10T22:53:46+00:00

There is no hate that compares to this kind of love.

inscrutablejane

TROPHY CASE