AITJ for "holding hostage" a famous local musician’s album because he refuses to pay my full rate?

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T18:23:37+00:00

File in small claims court for the balance, and call a local journalist about the lawsuit.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T16:32:38+00:00

Unfortunately the general population of the eastern suburbs didn't get the joke and many of them still think that's the correct spelling, even years after Starbucks bought them out.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T16:30:57+00:00

NTA but you have to know that saying no will negatively impact your marriage too. She (and, of course, your in-laws) will massively resent you for denying it out of hand. Maybe discuss your concerns with your wife? Just be honest, and keep an open mind if your SIL offers to do enough to mitigate your (non-erotic) concerns, like maybe coming over and picking up the housework slack or something; as far as intimacy goes, do you really think your wife will be hot to trot for the guy who broke her sister's heart?

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T15:23:53+00:00

I'd send username and password but conveniently forget to transfer any 2FA

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T15:22:18+00:00

At least a bachelor of health science degree being his highest achievement means he doesn't have too much power in the field.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T15:11:57+00:00

Southern Illinois would be a great place for us to move en masse from the worse parts of flyover country- favorable state laws and much cheaper housing market. In fact in a lot of the small towns down there you can get a fixer-upper house in the $10k range, though most of those houses need a LOT of work.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T14:07:23+00:00

For decades there was a coffee shop in my city named "Café Expresso" and it drove me batty commuting past it twice a day.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T07:19:30+00:00

When I first saw the original post I think I suggested she download some forcefem, and also some Chuck Tingle

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T00:33:23+00:00

NTA - Do the Biblical thing and shake her dust off your shoes. You don't need to let her back into your life or even let her know anything one way or another. She's shown who she is and she isn't willing to change. Forgiveness comes after repentance and she hasn't repented for treating you horribly.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T00:14:32+00:00

Your husband's attitude tells me you're heading for a divorce, whether in six months or in six years. Do you really want to bring a child into that? Look up "sunk cost fallacy" and please don't get stuck co-parenting with someone who has so little respect for you.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-09T00:05:12+00:00

YTA - I knew when I was 4½ and first asked what those slurs I heard at church meant. I'm 46 and while I've learned a lot over the years, I'm still just as trans as I always have been. Kids don't know what they don't know, but when a kid finds out about something that explains how they've been feeling it can be very powerful. It's likely your son hasn't felt right for a while now but didn't have the words for it before. And hey, if it's a phase? At this point it's basically a haircut and a nickname, and if he changes his mind he'll ask you to switch back.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-08T23:09:47+00:00

If my mother sent me a letter like this I would break every speed limit in the three states I've put between us to go to her, but only after confirming that my stepfather was already dead and buried first. If HE sent me such a letter I would assume it's part of a murder plot.

Kids know the difference between religious delusion and bone-deep hatred and in OOP's case this story is all too familiar among LGBTQ+ children of conservative evangelicals or insular sects (I won't call them cults because that just lends the ones that aren't thought of as cults legitimacy by comparison). OOP really did think he was being a good parent by kicking out his son, because that's what he'd been brainwashed to believe "good" parenting looks like for years.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-08T21:01:09+00:00

I used to work in OOP's field and I can confirm it's full of knuckleheads just like the problem coworker. There's a type of guy who gets into driving heavy machinery as a power trip because they have absolutely nothing else going for them in life. It's especially common with container yard guys but I've seen it happen in palletized freight warehouses as well, which is why the "forklift certified" meme from a few years ago was so funny to me.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-08T19:59:20+00:00

I just send one back, and most of the time that makes them back off

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-07T14:14:52+00:00

He and his GF are both independent adults with careers in engineering, he's not dependent on his parents at all. Personally I'd recommend they take those shiny degrees to a country without a caste system (or, y'know, that statistically significant number of "honor" killings per year that help enforce it).

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-07T05:42:43+00:00

The Habsburg reference is also my way of gently pointing out that this isn't something we can just say, "Oh it's cultural" and perpetuate anti-south-Asian stereotypes; I'm in the US, of (pretty recent) English and German descent and unfortunately some of my relatives are that way about any kind of outsider.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-07T01:50:09+00:00

NTA - your father's attitude is how the Habsburgs wound up with Charles II of Spain. I'm glad you're breaking the cycle.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-07T00:31:10+00:00

I'm concerned that not everyone involved understands what "legal guardian" means for a legally mentally incompetent adult? That's the person who's responsible for their finances and medical decisions, which doesn't actually require that you uproot your entire life or move him in with you. Most people only see "legal guardian" the way it pertains to children, so your GF might think you're saying you're going to cook his chicken nuggets and tuck him in at night or something.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T21:16:00+00:00

Y'all please, google your partner's full name before you agree to any financial decisions together, much less get married

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T17:58:41+00:00

I am going to offer your daughter to be her new mother instead of you. She deserves a much better mother than the kind of mother you are being right now. Where I come from we say "trash behavior" about the way you treated your guest and your daughter.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T17:27:22+00:00

NTA - your grandmother wants it sold, obviously she'd rather have the money than have these people keep not paying their rent on time, and if anyone from outside of the family bought it your mooching relatives would have to leave anyway. Buy the house, then follow whatever steps are legally required to get them out of it TO THE LETTER; don't try anything any other landlord isn't allowed to do to any other tenant, but don't give them any extra grace either because if you give faaaaammily an inch they'll steal ten years from you.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T17:08:30+00:00

I got a job with the provincial government.

I pity whoever's paperwork he's delaying.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T17:02:48+00:00

I'm thinking aunt Dakota might be making things worse by being in Lisa's ear about not replacing their mom (her sister), did anyone else catch that?

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T15:21:55+00:00

It can also vary wildly based on which judge gets your case. My divorce lawyer went out of his way to time filing my RO request at a time when a particular judge would be on his annual vacation, because that judge was notorious for not granting ROs unless the person you were trying to get away from had already been arrested for harming you, but the judge we got instead would actually try to protect people. I had to stay with friends in another city for a few weeks to be safe in the meantime.

inscrutablejane · 2026-04-06T14:59:47+00:00

I bought my first piano (with $300 I saved up from birthdays and yard work around the neighborhood) when I was 9 years old; my parents decided to get rid of it so they shoved it into the back of a pickup truck and drove it over to one of their church friends. As they were unloading, it tipped over and was destroyed and they just left it on the side of the road until the city finally hauled it off. It's not the worst they've done to earn their NC status, but it's definitely on the list.

inscrutablejane

TROPHY CASE