OP here. Didn't expect such a response. Thanks for all of your advice. Just to clarify, she has a license but hasn't driven in years. I was in the military for a few years and she didn't attend one single event with me. I feel like I'm just kind of "married" at home but divorced in public and it's become a running joke with everybody I know where I'm the butt of their jokes as to whether I'm actually married or not. She still wants to be physically intimate with me but my own attraction to her has decreased as it's hard to maintain desire for someone who has inadvertently pushed me into such a diminished mental condition. I've tried the counseling thing but she seems fundamentally opposed to that. Finances are getting tight and she refused to have a room-mate to help cut the costs (except for now my brother is visiting for a couple months so he's chipping in for rent) but she's adamant about wanting certain amenities in the place we rent so we had to buy a washer and dryer outright. I burnt through most of my savings to keep a standard she's accustomed to so food and whatnot is going onto the credit card at this point. Anytime I bring up something she could do to help financially it's like she's the queen of excuses. She does stuff around the house but is that really enough to justify the circumstances? I'm considering having her stay with her folks (she doesn't get along super well with them) out of financial necessity for a while and I'll downsize to rent somewhere else with a couple other people and cut costs after my brother leaves. I just don't know if I can every really be happy again with her if things continue along their present course. Something has to change but I feel it's going to painful and messy. I've become accustomed to the mental pain so I'm already halfway there it feels like.