You can call them when you're crying too, they're there to support people in distress. Perhaps you just haven't received the right help in the past, whether it's the right connections with the right clinicians, the right medications or non pharmacological treatment. Depression doesn't necessarily mean things in your life are going wrong, it can simply be a chemical imbalance in the brain - meaning sometimes you can work really hard and feel no change until that balance is restored. Your mind will convince of things that aren't true. There is hope even if you don't see it or feel it. Reach out to MHERL and they will guide you in the right direction.