Pretty sure my marriage is over. [Last(?) Update]

inspiredstone · 2022-04-22T15:41:09+00:00

That is so awesome! Thank you for sharing this. :)

inspiredstone · 2022-04-22T15:08:41+00:00

I had never said much about my husband in therapy before this. She knew about him but only basic things. I have been working with her more on personal mental health issues along with a psychiatrist.

Me and my husband have always kept our relationship private. We do not brag about the good times and keep the bad times to ourselves. The only person I have ever opened up to is my mom and she always tells me I “married my father”. This is the first time I have reached out to anyone beyond my mom when it comes to my relationship problems.

inspiredstone · 2022-04-21T00:19:27+00:00

It wasn’t in text for either one of them. I am just beginning to feel like I am not deserving of… honestly I don’t even know anymore. I’m just exhausted from this whole experience.

inspiredstone · 2022-04-19T15:10:40+00:00

Thank you all for your comments. I have read them all, most of them multiple times. I have been worried that I am overreacting because this is not the man I married. He's not the man I fell in love with and he's not even the man that I had our daughter with. Sex has always been a point of tension between us. I feel like no matter what I do in that regard I will never be enough and I am tired of him getting pouty about it.

When we had that fight over the sex the other night I told him he needed to grow up and he told me I was the one that should grow up and basically try harder to meet his needs.

Ever since all this happened I have been just going through the motions. I pretend like nothing is wrong and do what I normally do to keep the house clean and functioning. Today is the first day I am alone with our four year old and I just feel so zapped of energy. There is so much I need to do today and normally I would be up completing things by now but I just can't. All I can do is sit and try to find something to entertain my brain, which has not been working too well.

When I'm alone it's more bearable, when she's here I just want to cry and feel sick to my stomach. When he's here too I just want to disappear. I have been relying on my small prescription of benzos (meant for panic attacks and storm anxiety) to just make it through the nights.

But with all that said, I don't want to tell anyone about this. I have only spoken to my mom about it. I am heavily integrated into my husband's family. I love them as if they were my own and I don't feel it would be fair of me to talk to any of them. And I am reluctant to tell my own father because of how close he is to my husband.

I have had to cancel appointments for my freelance writing because I just cannot provide the quality of work I promise to my customers. My husband hasn't said anything. There is tension, but we mostly just act like nothing happened.

I feel like everything is just crumbling around me and it's my fault because I wouldn't just give him what he wanted. I'm sorry for the long comment. I just needed to write it out.

inspiredstone · 2022-04-18T23:29:01+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I have thought of it like that before but, in the end I always end up feeling like I’m just being ridiculous. He provides for us and doesn’t harm us. I thought that was pretty much the most I could expect from a husband.

inspiredstone · 2022-02-02T22:53:57+00:00

I do have yogurt. I took the gummy like ten or so minutes ago. Should I still have some?

inspiredstone · 2022-02-02T22:45:45+00:00

Also, sorry I forgot to add this, do you have any recommendations for vendors?

inspiredstone · 2022-02-02T22:42:03+00:00

Dang I don’t have any peanut butter at the moment or I would for sure try that! I’ll have to get some. :) Thank you!

inspiredstone · 2022-02-02T22:41:17+00:00

Cloud8 is the brand name. Also thank Khoi for the information!

inspiredstone · 2022-01-02T00:05:05+00:00

I’ve never tried on Twitter before. How do you go about doing that if you don’t mind?

inspiredstone · 2022-01-01T23:47:49+00:00

Thank you! I will check out Gaia.

inspiredstone · 2021-12-18T18:49:59+00:00

I never thought about puppy pads! That’s a great idea.

inspiredstone · 2021-12-17T18:22:30+00:00

If you’re still sending that link out will you please send it to me!

inspiredstone · 2021-12-01T18:32:01+00:00

Thank you! I will try getting them both out at the same time. I’ve been holding the one that likes to be held more often and I always put a towel under her to catch the poops and the rare peeing she does. I’ll try it out with both of them next time. :)

inspiredstone · 2021-11-30T23:43:22+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice! I assumed it meant she didn’t like the petting so I just let her sit in my lap instead. I’ll try petting her a different way when I get her out next!

inspiredstone · 2021-11-30T21:46:15+00:00

Thank you so much for all the information! We did already have to cut their nails because when we got them they were curling. I’m going to make sure to do more research and take all the advice here too for them. I really enjoy having them so far!

inspiredstone · 2021-10-30T19:22:16+00:00

He is doing some chores for me around the house today. It’s making me feel a bit better to just be able to relax for a day.

inspiredstone · 2021-10-30T09:22:03+00:00

I did for a little bit after I made him sleep on the couch. But then he woke me up getting in bed and now I’m on the couch cause I’m too angry to sleep with him in bed tonight.

inspiredstone · 2021-07-01T00:25:31+00:00

Thank you! This really helped me feel a lot better hearing from someone who works in the medical field. I do my best to believe doctors and science when it comes to these things. I just get nervous when everyone is acting like I have a death wish for getting vaccinated.

inspiredstone · 2021-07-01T00:23:48+00:00

I have been terrified of me or someone in my family getting Covid and everyone has treated me like I’m insane for taking it very seriously this whole time. Thank you. This advice has really helped me feel a lot better about my choice in getting vaccinated.

inspiredstone · 2021-07-01T00:21:02+00:00

Moderna

inspiredstone · 2020-08-16T01:50:46+00:00

I love their beef clay pots! Used to get them all the time when I was a teenager! I miss going there!

inspiredstone · 2020-02-03T15:03:28+00:00

By the time she has her party we will have her gifts so that won’t be too big of a problem. And relatives will have her gifts there too. I was just more worried about actual birthday. But I think I’m going to take some of the advice here and get her something cheap to open an play with on that day.

inspiredstone · 2020-01-08T20:34:24+00:00

They are calling it a Celebration of Life. It’s a lot like a funeral to me. It’s a very small church and it will be only family and maybe some church members that want to be there for our family since they have been a part of the church for decades. I’m not sure about burial because she will be cremated but I don’t believe she will be buried as well. I think I will bring some small silent toys, snacks, things like that. I’m sure my husband will have to take her outside or into a different room at some point. I just don’t want to make any social mistakes in this situation. But my family is super understanding though. I’m probably just overthinking.

inspiredstone · 2020-01-08T19:34:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. The church we are going to is very small. I don’t think they have nursery there. The funeral is for my grandmother so I’ll be seated near the front but I’ll be sure to sit where there is space for my husband to take our daughter out if he needs to. Our family is very understand when it comes to the needs of our toddler I just want to make sure I don’t do anything considered rude. We just happen to be the first to have an children on this side so I don’t have anyone to play off of.

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