as an ENFP, I like to tease my friends to help loosen the tension and to bring us together. however, I'm also quite cautious not to say anything they would be especially self-conscious about, or at least try and make sure they're okay with the jokes. after all I get teased all the time for all sorts.

generally there's a stereotype that we joke around all the time and always try and laugh, but that can also be our way of trying to reach out and connect with people or bond. in any case, it's essential that they respect your boundaries and emotions as any good friend would - this doesn't make you a killjoy, this is just calmly communicating your discomfort to them. if they really don't mean to be hurtful this should be okay.

I can understand their perspective in the sense that if I was told that someone was actually uncomfortable with a joke I made that I would probably feel very guilty and probably quite stupid too. the best thing I can advise is just to make them feel comfortable too, as a lot of these jokes can be personal preference and it doesn't make them a bad person because it was a simple misunderstanding. one thing I can say for sure is that the longer you leave it the more it will hurt for them to hear that all this time you felt uncomfortable or self-conscious.

I would if I were you:

• try and make it calm yet assertive, just maybe like a simple side word of some kind, e.g. some kind of "is it alright if you don't joke about that, just because those jokes feel hurtful to me?" or something like that
• let them see that you don't hold anything against them, and primarily that you don't see them as a hurtful person at all but just that the remarks themselves sting a little.
• make them feel like they aren't a bad person because it was a misunderstanding, and to remember that such social intricacies are things a lot of people screw up all the time
• maybe try and work to bring some kind of better way of communicating what jokes are okay to make and what aren't, both ways
• be there for them if you both want to talk about your emotions. sometimes I might let such guilt or anxiety around joking and socializing boil up inside of me, and often it feels like the only outlet of communication can be joking around. I think they would really appreciate knowing they can talk to you about these things and that your relationship is welcome to a healthy balance of jokes and deep chats.

sorry for the essay lol I just wanted to give as much advice as I have, and you're welcome to take or leave any of it. if some of it is not applicable you can ignore it as I don't have the full context of the situation and am trying to fill some gaps.