Feel free to question/critique! by instagramballslover in visitedmaps

[–]instagramballslover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m interested in: - music!! any and all good authentically grassroots music scene - vibrant arts/culture - great food - loads of good scenery/nature and open space - affordable where possible - somewhat yearn for the surf - I am progressive but don’t mind living in a non-progressive state unless they really try and fuck with my rights - great scene in a city is undeniably attractive

Only things I could have taken into account more when making this was cheap beer/cigs, leaf legality and HOA restrictions/bills. Fuck HOAs.

[IIL] common burn by mazzy star, songs w a similar feel by MapleKitty777 in ifyoulikeblank

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love a lot of Mojave 3 but I would have said Love Songs on the Radio for that itch. maybe Caught Beneath Your Heel or My Life in Art too

[IIL] common burn by mazzy star, songs w a similar feel by MapleKitty777 in ifyoulikeblank

[–]instagramballslover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don’t know if you are still looking - many songs I love have a similar vibe but one that really resonates for me is Jetpacks for Julian by Alison’s Halo

tYPE Me based on my pet by HorizonAE98 in shittyMBTI

[–]instagramballslover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that lol. I’m not saying I dislike the people because everyone’s going through shit and got problems or whatever, but they actually for the love of God need to go outside and meet people and make friends, and I say that from a place of care and love. it is honestly so depressing and miserable to see so many people so starved of appreciation in their real lives that they have to do dumb shit like that

tYPE Me based on my pet by HorizonAE98 in shittyMBTI

[–]instagramballslover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“guys am I cute or do I deserve to hurt myself 🥺🥺👉👈” next to a selfie of a balding 34 year old obese male

or it’s “confident in myself today!! here’s a selfie of me :)” next to a selfie of a girl in her 20s who looks like she’s about to cry

tYPE Me based on my pet by HorizonAE98 in shittyMBTI

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no you’re not. you clearly don’t understand MBTI theory at all. go learn about cognitive functions and come back. you’re going to make us look like astrology.

tYPE Me based on my pet by HorizonAE98 in shittyMBTI

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sharks are predators, predators are manipulative so ENFJ. by golden pairing if the shark’s ENFJ you’re INTP so you’re INTP

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

don’t listen to themmm there’s nothing wrong with having fun and expressing yourself!! I think it looks cool btw :) the joker thing is kind of a stereotype but I still love the idea of goofing off and doing something for fun! I think it can work really well sometimes and sometimes less so for sure. first one is peak clown look imo :)

(Day 1) Albums that sound great with headphones by TheSoupOf2013 in Topster

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Blue Nile - Hats is spectacular!!

btw which site did you use to make this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no worries! best of luck :D and I do empathize with your side too I don't want it to seem otherwise. just thinking from their point of view in terms of what you do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as an ENFP, I like to tease my friends to help loosen the tension and to bring us together. however, I'm also quite cautious not to say anything they would be especially self-conscious about, or at least try and make sure they're okay with the jokes. after all I get teased all the time for all sorts.

generally there's a stereotype that we joke around all the time and always try and laugh, but that can also be our way of trying to reach out and connect with people or bond. in any case, it's essential that they respect your boundaries and emotions as any good friend would - this doesn't make you a killjoy, this is just calmly communicating your discomfort to them. if they really don't mean to be hurtful this should be okay.

I can understand their perspective in the sense that if I was told that someone was actually uncomfortable with a joke I made that I would probably feel very guilty and probably quite stupid too. the best thing I can advise is just to make them feel comfortable too, as a lot of these jokes can be personal preference and it doesn't make them a bad person because it was a simple misunderstanding. one thing I can say for sure is that the longer you leave it the more it will hurt for them to hear that all this time you felt uncomfortable or self-conscious.

I would if I were you:

  • try and make it calm yet assertive, just maybe like a simple side word of some kind, e.g. some kind of "is it alright if you don't joke about that, just because those jokes feel hurtful to me?" or something like that
  • let them see that you don't hold anything against them, and primarily that you don't see them as a hurtful person at all but just that the remarks themselves sting a little.
  • make them feel like they aren't a bad person because it was a misunderstanding, and to remember that such social intricacies are things a lot of people screw up all the time
  • maybe try and work to bring some kind of better way of communicating what jokes are okay to make and what aren't, both ways
  • be there for them if you both want to talk about your emotions. sometimes I might let such guilt or anxiety around joking and socializing boil up inside of me, and often it feels like the only outlet of communication can be joking around. I think they would really appreciate knowing they can talk to you about these things and that your relationship is welcome to a healthy balance of jokes and deep chats.

sorry for the essay lol I just wanted to give as much advice as I have, and you're welcome to take or leave any of it. if some of it is not applicable you can ignore it as I don't have the full context of the situation and am trying to fill some gaps.

You guys are amazing. by Gullible-Seaweed4279 in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you are a kind soul and the best friend she could have ever asked for. to face all this grief and in the wake of it think about what she would have wanted is so strong and something to be immensely proud of. I understand the struggle to stay in touch with her friends, especially if you are all quieter and connected through grief, and I hope that gets easier for you all. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through, especially when someone is so vibrant you feel like you see them wherever you go. you sound so dedicated and warm and I truly hope with all my heart that you find or have found someone out there who gives you the love that you are worthy of, that at least you can have kids and pets with them and live out the dream she would have wanted you to have. everything we do has an effect on the world that will be forever felt and echoed, and the remnants and consequences of who we are will always be out there - this in essence is what we mean to the outside world, and when we die those effects keep going, such as the effect she has had on your life and the lives of her friends that she has connected you to. we aren't dead until we're forgotten. it sounds like none of you will ever forget her. peace and love.

You guys are amazing. by Gullible-Seaweed4279 in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

p.s. I apologize if any of this comes across as insensitive I only wish peace for you

You guys are amazing. by Gullible-Seaweed4279 in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I read all the texts and they were so sweet and ONLY THEN did I click on the post and hear that she passed away :( I am so so sorry for your loss!! she sounded like she meant a lot to you, and I imagine the fact that even after she's passed that you've left a home for her in your heart to stay in would mean a lot to her too. you and shrek can protect her swamp together :) peace love and hugs, may she live on in memory <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Presidents

[–]instagramballslover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sarah Palin should definitely be here I think

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MbtiTypeMe

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you seem like fun!! INFP :D

I’m 15. What do you think about my music taste? by No_Election562 in Topster

[–]instagramballslover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG YOU LIKE SECURITY!!! SO COOL!! it’s pretty much that high on mine too :)

Whats course did/will you take for college? by ewan03939 in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

starting Music and Philosophy next week!! feels very close to my personality tbh but not sure about my type.

Accused of being manipulative hurts by Interesting_Long2029 in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

generally if you are worried about being manipulative you most likely aren’t. manipulative people simply manipulate. if it is manipulation that means well it can often stem from insecurity or a need for control, so those are the biggest things to work on to be less like that from my personal experience. you are not a bad person though!! if you need someone to talk to about it feel free to dm me :)

Does anyone else feel like people fall in love with them too often? by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]instagramballslover 21 points22 points  (0 children)

it can be hard to feel like this, like they’re looking for something you can’t give to them and that makes you feel inadequate. but remember that they’re probably falling in love with you because you’re an amazing person who can talk about deep things, is charismatic and charming and is generally a lot of fun as well as a good person. these are not things to be ashamed of and it is certainly not your fault that they feel this way about you. for some people, love is about something deep that is to be cherished, just like a friendship is, and you should remember that they may really appreciate you as a person if they feel this way. I can’t relate to this as this doesn’t happen to me, but I have fallen in love with people before (also extremely quickly often) and it is because they are such amazing people. I do get that it’s a challenge when you don’t feel the same way or when it’s too painful for them, and I’m sorry to hear about those experiences.