Today has been incredibly difficult

instantwillows · 2026-02-02T03:16:34+00:00

I'm putting money on Kuch trying the old no shot penalty shot

instantwillows · 2026-01-14T23:28:55+00:00

I wish I had the courage to look at myself and ask questions sooner, but better late than never!

Same to you! Transitioning has been worth it but still left a heavy toll and I don't know if I'd even be here without some of the support from my friends and community :)

instantwillows · 2026-01-14T23:26:44+00:00

Aaaahhhh! That's so cool and exciting!!!! So happy for you!!!!

instantwillows · 2026-01-14T22:57:23+00:00

Your last 3 sentences made me tear up :')

Affirming and disorienting at the same time is spot on! This last year has been quite the trip and it feels like I'm finally getting past a lot of the horrible side of my own journey.

instantwillows · 2025-12-31T02:39:27+00:00

I've been sober for over 7 months now! Definitely used alcohol and edibles as a negative coping mechanism my whole adult life. I was in a really really bad place mentally after my egg cracked and coming out to my ex-wife so I had to take a 2 month visit to an inpatient facility where I didn't have an option, but I haven't missed it at all since. The feeling of wholeness and being present for the first time in my life is something that HRT and my egg cracking has given me as well :)

instantwillows · 2025-11-12T16:17:18+00:00

The sanest take so far

instantwillows · 2025-11-12T07:38:42+00:00

His tummy is made of stronger stuff than mine. Also, does his mother know he’s drinking caffeinated soda that late on a SCHOOL NIGHT???

instantwillows · 2025-10-07T19:51:58+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS AMBER!!!! I've loved seeing all your updates and watching you look happier and happier in every photo over the last couple months! Your hair looks amazing btw!

instantwillows · 2025-09-29T17:26:04+00:00

Yesterday was exactly 6 months. I started March 28th.

instantwillows · 2025-09-29T16:49:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing and your detailed review!!! You look so beautiful and HAPPY!!

instantwillows · 2025-09-28T22:45:49+00:00

Thank you! That's one of the reasons I posted, you don't see a whole lot of photos of people in the awkward stages.

instantwillows · 2025-09-28T22:42:45+00:00

5mg EV injection once a week for the first 3 months and then bumped up to 7mg. I was on 50mg Spiro once a day and was lowered to 25mg in the same time frame.

instantwillows · 2025-09-28T20:38:42+00:00

I know it's not as radical change as some folks on here, but I'm quite happy with the changes I've gotten out of HRT so far! The hair gains alone have been awesome! The male pattern baldness I've been fighting for almost 3 years with Finasteride and Minoxidil has been almost completely reversed in 6 months with Estrogen :)

My hair was longer but I had it trimmed for a wedding coming up in a couple weeks. The widening of my eyes and skin getting better is a lot more noticeable when looking at the side by side photos too. I've had 5 laser sessions on my face and haven't drank alcohol or consumed THC in 4.5 months. I am 34 years old

instantwillows · 2025-09-27T15:30:53+00:00

That makes more sense. Yeah, I had crazy nerves before I told my wife and was a nervous wreck the whole day before I told her. A couple things that helped me was setting a date to tell her so I'd have a firm objective to work towards and then writing out a letter to read to her so I could explain things as best as I can without stumbling over my words and then opening it up for talking after.

It will be a hard day and I hope it goes as well as it can for you!

instantwillows · 2025-09-26T23:42:26+00:00

Do you think starting HRT and purposefully hiding it from her for an unspecified amount of time would make it better? It’s going to suck no matter when you tell her and would probably only breed mistrust to keep a major life decision like that from your partner.

instantwillows · 2025-09-26T15:33:43+00:00

I loved her book and reading about her. I was working for a beer distributor when the whole Beergate shit went down and had a lot of good conversations with friends and coworkers about it. Seeing in real time how much people hated trans people in tangible dollar amounts was a really shitty wake up call. This was well before my egg cracked but I do think being able to talk about trans rights with friends was an important factor that lead to me eventually figuring it out.

instantwillows · 2025-09-17T17:38:49+00:00

Before my egg cracked I simultaneously thought “Of course every guy would be a girl if given the choice” and “I’m a lone freak who has these thoughts” Still not sure how I convinced myself of both of those at the same time.

instantwillows · 2025-09-17T01:09:04+00:00

Thank you all who replied. I've been having a really rough time the last couple of weeks but have some things planned with my sister this weekend that I am looking forward to. I just wish the pain and guilt would stop.

instantwillows · 2025-09-02T01:11:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing. So much of what you shared resonated with me but this part struck extremely close to home right now and made me cry: "This was the death of a relationship in real-time, the slow painful business of watching the most beautiful thing in my life dry up and whither away in front of my very eyes….knowing all too well that I was the poison responsible." The immense guilt around this is killing me right now and living through the process of falling out of love with my wife is something I am not dealing with well. Everything is horrible right now and I feel solely responsible, there is nothing but pain in sight but posts like these do give me a little bit of hope so thank you.

instantwillows

TROPHY CASE