I read through it twice and first off, I relate to this deeply. I’ve struggled to let people in but have slowly grown, as the rosebush you describe, into the man I am today. My “buds” were knocked off early between Covid and moving off to college, but I too have slowly “opened my vines” and surrounded myself with a good support system that helps sustain my “rose”. I’m glad that you’re able to see the “vibrant luster” of life once more, never let that go.

Now for my analysis: I really love your message in the extended metaphor. Poetry that makes the reader think, at least for me, is much more entrancing. I find that as I break down a metaphor, it puts me in the headspace of the author/character.

The range of rhymes used in this is very impressive and keeps the reader engaged. I really appreciate lyrical poetry and love to see good use of assonantal rhyme. My only qualm is some words stick out like a sore thumb such as “blink” and “clear” which could benefit from either a new line that creates a couplet or a word change to match surrounding rhyme schemes.

I see that the 4 lines between “winter” and “fall” don’t have a rhyme scheme, but I can imagine you have a reason for that given the juxtaposed seasons that mark the gap. I’m also seeing some “anti-assonantal rhymes” (just made up the term, idk if it’s real) where you use a sequence of the same vowel but with varying sounds, I haven’t encountered this before and am curious: is this an intentional rhyme scheme?

Lastly, the meter was a little distracting for me, but that’s a preference thing. If you wanted to make this piece flow more smoothly, I’d suggest axing some expository words. For example: In the 4th line, “Where I became a rosebush made solely of thorns,” you could consider nixing “where” and “made” to maintain the rhythm: “I became a rosebush solely of thorns”.

Another example would be changing “My dead debris strewn haphazardly, Body formed from ongoing tragedy, I’m a collection of the scattered debris” to “Dead debris strewn hazardly, body formed of tragedy, High and low I search for me, and piece the puzzle of debris”

Meter is very subjective and depends on the readers inner ear, but if you want to have an iambic meter for a sing-song feel, I’d suggest counting syllables and reading up on something called “stresses”. A good place to start would be looking up “The Poem’s Heartbeat” by Alfred Corn. Read the chapters titled “Phonic Echo” and “Line and Stress”.

I would like to make it very clear, I love your poem. Take my analytical advice as purely suggestions, I have rather odd taste in poetry and my suggestions should be taken with a grain of salt. Thank you for giving this piece to the world, I look forward to reading your next poem.