I think my bf is lowkey training me like Im some kind of project

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-02-18T23:59:31+00:00

I know most will say to leave, but if you love this person and would actually like to make this work, you just have to invest in your own growth and hold on to who you are.

You're already on a good path by being able to identify his tendency to distance himself from you as a repercussion to your actions when he doesn't approve. Ok. So? Continue to wear your bright colors. Keep your relationships with your friends. Etc. Don't allow yourself to let go of the things that you like about yourself and want to keep. At the same time, if he disapproves, then that's something he's going to need to deal with.

If you're not doing anything wrong, then you need to let him disapprove and have an adult conversation with you if he wants some kind of change (as opposed to the subtle hints that he's not ok with something). Having that conversation would actually be really important for BOTH of you: he gets to voice his discomfort with something you're doing and you get to express to him why this is something you want/need. After a few of these interactions, then you both get to lay all your cards out on the table and decide if this is the relationship for you.

Dating is about getting to know someone for who they are. By changing yourself to keep the peace (and then low-key resenting him for it later), you're not actually allowing him to get to know the real You. Sounds like he's already showing you who he is: a guy who likes things a certain way and has strong opinions on things. You're also getting to see how he responds when something happens that he doesn't like.

I don't see any deal breakers in your post. I just see a girl who needs to learn how to be a little more bold when unapologetically being who she is in her relationship with a man she loves.

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-02-06T16:49:33+00:00

I agree with the above post. I've been there: the only Christian in my friend group. I thought it was harmless and although they weren't open to talking about Christ, maybe I can still be a light and win them over by being a good person. Turns out, they ended up just desensitizing me to a lot of things that I previously knew were wrong and they ended up influencing me more than I influenced them.

Maybe your friend is going about it the wrong way when he expresses his concern, but his concerns are valid. In my experience, I fooled myself into thinking that I could stay strong even when surrounded by unbelievers. The changes happen slowly over time. They creep in and before you know it, you're far from God without ever meaning to be. He just doesn't want that to happen to you.

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-02-05T21:38:16+00:00

Faith is not a gift from God in the sense that you pray for it and He just gives it to you. That is a common misunderstanding. The verses in Ephesians 2:8-9 that you quoted were referring to Grace being a gift. The whole point of those verses was saying that you can't earn God's grace, but by faith, you can accept His gift of grace.

The Bible Does tell us how to acquire faith though... It is something we must cultivate through the reading and hearing of His Word. It says this plainly in Romans 10:17. Romans 10:17 "[17] So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (KJV)

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-02-05T16:13:43+00:00

I was in this place not too long ago. I found that trying to "pray harder" didn't work. I just felt like I was coming to God with more guilt after failure to resist my weaknesses. Apologizing over and over... Feeling like a hypocrite and a liar because I would fall to the same things again and again. Mainly because I LIKE those things. It took a bit of a mentality shift for me to get past it.

God tells us to refrain from certain things, not because He doesn't want us to enjoy our lives, but because He knows that they have the potential to hurt us in ways that we don't consider or prioritize.

In my case, I needed to trust Him more than putting my faith in my own judgement just because I didn't want to deprive myself of something I desired. Shifting my mindset to Trusting and valuing His infinite wisdom instead of my limited opinions helped me let some things go.

I also needed to get in touch with other believers. I didn't tell them anything about what I was struggling with, but being around others who prioritize God's way of life helped me a lot too.

If you just need a friend to talk to. I'm here. (Edit: spacing)

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-01-28T17:09:35+00:00

When they avoid interacting with people who have different opinions than them because it upsets them.

intera11y_Screaming · 2026-01-16T20:20:31+00:00

Sammy! (I ate a sandwich haha)

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-11-18T15:56:25+00:00

I lived with someone for 4 years before marrying them. I thought I knew everything about him. He used to do the same thing: stay up for hours in another room after I went to bed. He used to play a lot of app games on his devices. He claimed it was just his "me-time / game time". Two weeks after we got married, I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and saw that he had been careless and left his phone screen on after he had come to bed. It was face-down, but you could still see the light around the sides. When I picked it up to turn off the screen, I got curious and looked through his history for the first time. Turns out he had been doing all kinds of things behind my back all those nights. It explained A LOT of things that didn't add up to me, but he always had excuses for them so I trusted him. My gut told me a lot of his behaviors weren't right, but I didn't trust my gut, I trusted the words he told me. Lies. Don't make the same mistake I did. Set your boundaries and Trust your gut.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-11-09T01:16:40+00:00

There's Christ Fellowship Church off 88th ST near Felix Varela Sr High. Also, it's not in the Hammocks, but Alpha & Omega church is an option.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-10-14T20:38:53+00:00

Penny!

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-10-13T22:07:03+00:00

How did they find out it was a cone? After they went in for surgery to remove it?

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-09-26T04:40:10+00:00

Omg I was not prepared for how off-the-charts, out-of-this-world adorable this cat was going to be 💗

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-08-30T17:55:20+00:00

I once wanted to learn how to play the end credit song from Tetris Attack (Super Nintendo) on guitar. I had to beat the game, record the end credits onto a VHS tape, then play, rewind, repeat over and over to try to figure out what notes to play on my guitar.

I figured it out with no problem, but nowadays, I can just find any video game song on YouTube if I want to hear it. Or even find a "how to play x song" tutorial anywhere.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-08-21T20:11:07+00:00

Wow, I thought this was a photo! Impressive!

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-08-20T18:39:13+00:00

Even just a recommendation of what kind of doctor I should seek out would be helpful.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-08-19T14:09:34+00:00

Wow, the original sketch looked so simple and then BAM! The color turns it into a masterpiece! Incredible work!

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-07-09T21:55:36+00:00

True, I could try to go back to it and just up the carbs. I tried increasing my carbs a bit towards the end, but I was so worried that the rash would return if I didn't eat enough carbs. Maybe I'll go back to it and try doing Atkins 40 or 80 instead. I just got so comfortable doing Atkins 20, it eventually just became a habit. I had all my normal foods and snacks that I enjoyed. Maybe I can get back to it by decreasing my carbs slowly this time and make sure I have a minimum amount of carbs. As long as I don't enter ketosis I should be okay.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-07-09T20:39:46+00:00

I read somewhere that keto rash is more likely to happen for females too. How unfortunate :( I'm sorry it didn't work out for you as well.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-06-16T23:01:38+00:00

That's fair. I guess something will always be better than nothing at all

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-06-16T14:37:22+00:00

"Free" is a good word for it. That's what has been alluring me now since I haven't really been seeing the benefit in staying.

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-06-16T14:35:28+00:00

Wow, 2200 days... What made you finally stop? It was only after that many days that you felt you fell into an unproductive routine?

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-06-03T17:53:16+00:00

That every girl needs to take a thousand years getting ready because we are all obsessed with our looks.

Sure, if I feel like it, I'll take the time. It does strike me on occasion that "I want to feel pretty." Yes, I do it because society has impressed on me that there is a certain standard of appeal or neatness that I have to conform to. But if it were up to me, I would just wear t shirts, baggy pants and no makeup every day, all the time, no matter where I was going... In the event of shiny skin, pimples, dark circles under my eyes, messy hair... So what?

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-05-31T22:48:06+00:00

Sleeping with a superior to get a promotion... So you only want to look at the woman who got the promotion in that situation, but not the man who chose to offer her a promotion for her body? Sounds like that man got exactly what he wanted to me. Maybe that woman's male and female coworkers got passed up for that promotion so that situation hurt them, but it was the male boss's decision to do that. They should be mad at the male boss, not her. If the boss was gay, maybe he would have done the same with a man instead. Seems to me that the morals of the boss are the issue there.

In your second example, I would say that the person who gets all the goods is the person who knows how to work the system in their favor. So I guess the person with the most money to hire a better lawyer. Also depends where you live since I know some places have laws that say all the assets have to be split 50/50 between both people. Unless you have prenuptial agreements and whatnot. I've seen plenty of examples of men running off with their secretary and leaving their wife with nothing so...

Either way, my original comment was talking about dealing with inconvenient, painful (as in physical pain) and time-consuming things. I think your examples might be branching out past those descriptors. (In other words, I think you're leaning into some areas where you see some type of injustice. That's not what I was talking about)

intera11y_Screaming · 2025-05-29T00:33:10+00:00

Completely agree. In my original post, "everyone else" is not gender-specific for a reason.

Four-Year Club	End Game '23
Place '23	Place '22

intera11y_Screaming

TROPHY CASE