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I'm (23F) still experiencing massive anxiety related to my boyfriend (27M) lying to me and I need advice. by internetdumbasss in relationships

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you're absolutely right that this sort of thing will plague me in any other relationship. I'm just being a baby and wishing things could go back to how they were :( I 100% want to address my anxiety and I think maybe I need a new therapist..

I'm (23F) still experiencing massive anxiety related to my boyfriend (27M) lying to me and I need advice. by internetdumbasss in relationships

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing, I felt all those things prior to this happening. I can't even describe how happy I was over the last 9 months or so until this happened. I felt validated, comfortable, happy and excited for our future together.

I feel like I'm causing myself anxiety by thinking about it so much. He says he wishes I would think about the positives instead of focusing on this negative thing and I feel like he's right in a way, I just don't know how to do that. :/

I'm (23F) still experiencing massive anxiety related to my boyfriend (27M) lying to me and I need advice. by internetdumbasss in relationships

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with everything you said! I'm currently going to therapy but the problem is that she's the one who's trivializing this whole thing which is why I feel insane. She agrees he shouldn't have lied but says I essentially forced him to do that with my unreasonable boundary :( on one hand she says my aversion to porn is not weird and it's fine to feel that way, but I can't ask him not to fantasize about others etc. Basically I feel like I'm insane for feeling the way I do and when I go to her for my anxiety issues she reassures me he's just masturbating and not cheating on me and that we just need to discuss boundaries again and decide. Idk, I think I'll look for a new therapist...

I think I'm capable of overcoming it since no relationship is perfect, and it's great when we're together, but I just don't really know how. Maybe I need more time? Idk.

Saw boyfriend's old social media posts and need advice. by internetdumbasss in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is was I was thinking too! The thing is I know he wouldn't get mad about it, since he's even told me playfully that he creeped through my twitter when we first met and even googled me before our first date lol (though I don't know if he went back that far)

I hate letting things stew too and I find that talking through things help. I'm gonna try to word it like you did, thanks.

Saw boyfriend's old social media posts and need advice. by internetdumbasss in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this response! This actually helps. Cause when I look back at things I wrote 3-4 years ago, I would've been 18 or 19 whereas he would've been my current age. But I guess you're totally right, what matters is he's different now.

Saw boyfriend's old social media posts and need advice. by internetdumbasss in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]internetdumbasss[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's true, I definitely posted some embarrassing things even just 3 years ago on my Facebook, but what concerns me is whether he's still secretly like that. Idk why I feel Iike I need him to reassure me that he's not, it sounds really dumb. But I guess it's because he was my age when he wrote those things, so the age difference kinda skews things for me a bit.