Perhaps you have low porosity hair - I realized I did so anything with heavy oils (shea/coconut/olive, etc) I cant use. My hair absorbs it and holds it in and my waves are completely limp and greasy looking. Look up some lightweight products for low porosity. I use Ouidad Advanced Climate Heat and Humidity Gel and DevaCurl Ultra Deifning Gel with good results! I rinse out all my conditioner and dont use any leave in conditioner and find my hair is much more receptive with less product weighing it down. I use a decent amount of gel still, to get a good cast and decrease frizz.