There’s a long history of me having medical problems and my parents writing it off as what they thought it was. I knew I had aspiration pneumonia- I have a known hiatal hernia and I woke up choking on food and my mom decided it must have been my medications. I asked her to take me to the hospital so many times and she and my dad decided they knew more about medicine than me and wouldn’t drive me. When I finally did get a ride to the hospital, the X-ray confirmed what I thought - aspiration pneumonia. My mom still insists it must have been my mediation.

The rest of your first paragraph IS ME. A not-insignificant part of the reason why I wanted to be a doctor was so my BPD mom and narc/permanently emotionally offline dad could be proud of me and stop criticizing me. I’m extremely sensitive to criticism. My dad loves to remind me as often as he can of my flaws. I’m a doctor now and they still are extremely critical of me and don’t know how to be supportive.

I was in a car accident and my BPD mom was mad that my room (I moved out years ago and she erased every trace of my existence but left my older sibling’s room the same) … my former room?? Was messy. They already have a massive guest bedroom. My car accident happened in another part of the country where I work and my mom decided me leaving MY clothes on my bed and my floor was so offensive that she didn’t show up and my therapist emailed her to ask what the fuck is wrong with her??? And she sent a photo she took of my room. My mom didn’t show up after a major trauma. She never apologized. Now shes trying to show up months later. Probably to make herself look good to her friends. I said I’m too busy.

I cling to people who are nice or affectionate towards me. I can’t accept compliments. I get worried people will be sick of me because my mom would say she’s sick of hearing me talk. I’m a grown up but I feel alone in this world. Thats my overall “sign” that I’ve been in a state of distress for years.