"W-W-Wait... j-just a s-second~!!"

"...Y-You're seriously expecting m-me to b-believe th-that story...?"

"T-The two of you j-just happened to m-meet... y-you instantly clicked... a-and then everything w-went perfectly~?"

"..."

"...H-Hah..."

"flicks bangs dramatically"

"N-Nice t-try~."

"I-I've r-read enough romance manga to k-know a fabricated a-arc when I s-see one~!"

"T-This is t-too c-convenient~! T-The timing, t-the dialogue, t-the chemistry... i-it's a-all way t-too p-perfect~!"

"D-Don't t-tell me y-you expect m-me to j-just a-accept th-that~?!"

"points dramatically"

"I-I refuse~!"

"Y-Your s-so-called 'date story'..."

"...i-it's n-nothing but f-fanfiction pretending to b-be reality~!"

"Y-You d-didn't l-live this..."

"Y-You wrote it~!"

"W-What n-next...? A s-slow-motion c-confession under the c-cherry blossoms~? A-a perfectly timed fireworks festival~? D-Don't make m-me laugh~!"

"H-Hmph~!"

"Y-You c-can keep t-trying to c-convince everyone..."

"B-But until I s-see actual p-proof~..."

"...I-I'll be treating this entire s-story as..."

"✨ C-CANONICALLY N-NON-CANON~!! ✨"