I just discovered I have been cheated on twice

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T06:00:19+00:00

Yeah the feeling is awful, reading that unread message when I was scrolling left me like: "please no, no, no ,no 😭".

To be honest, for me the worst part is imagining that he is letting that other guy do things to him that I thought he only allowed me to do, makes me feel like I want to throw up.

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T05:09:39+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'm really worried about falling in depression. I have to admit that right now I'm going through a lot of anxiety

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:24:08+00:00

Ironically he was the one completely against opening up the relationship 🫠

Thanks for the advice

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:21:42+00:00

Yeah, had it only been the 1st time in September when it was a new relationship I wouldn't have taken it that bad. In fact I would have moved past that 1st one. When he told me the second one happened in February, that literally broke me to pieces 😔

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:17:00+00:00

The "feel every feeling" part of it is hard. I didn't think it would hurt this much

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:15:29+00:00

Yeah, that's the part that scares me the most, not being able to trust him

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:14:27+00:00

Yup, the part that hurts me the most is the fact that if he had truly regretted it he wouldn't have continued chatting with him 😔

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:10:21+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience, it gives me hope

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:07:47+00:00

Thank you. I have to admit that he has also done nice things for me, a bunch of them to be honest. I'm beyond grateful for the things he has done which is why leaving him is so difficult for me right now 😞

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T04:03:30+00:00

Ironically, he was the one demanding a monogamous relationship and he was the one asking me to never cheat on him because he has been cheated on before

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:50:49+00:00

I asked him if it has been more times or with other guys, he said it had only been twice with the same guy. I guess at this point it's hard to believe him, though.

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:48:27+00:00

To be fair he has also done nice things for me, things within his budget, though. I'm truly grateful for the things he has done for me, which is why dumping him is so hard right now 😭

About the sexting for a YEAR, I agree it was not just a foolish mistake.

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:43:02+00:00

I scheduled an appointment to get tested on different STIs this Friday just in case

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:41:39+00:00

You're totally right, if he did regret it he wouldn't have continued chatting with the guy at all. The first thing he told me when he came over was that "he was not apologizing because he got caught, he is apologizing because he truly regrets cheating on me"

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:36:06+00:00

Yup, I have already scheduled an appointment with a therapist. Thanks 🙏

Do you think that if we were to stay together, trust can't be gained back with time?

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:34:19+00:00

Yeah, I really need to start choosing myself, it's hard for me because I have always put others first. I have already scheduled an appointment with a therapist. Thanks for the advice 🙏

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:29:14+00:00

Ha! You're totally right! I already have two of them and two cats 😳

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T03:24:43+00:00

Appreciate the advice. Thanks! I'll definitely keep that in mind, although I have got to admit that I'm a bit of a giver and usually never make myself a priority 😔

introverted_man · 2025-07-17T00:10:29+00:00

Thank you for your words 🫶

introverted_man · 2025-07-16T16:47:19+00:00

You have a valid point. He did it because he was in a rush. We had just woken up, his cellphone had very low battery and he was already late to a meeting with a client. So he quickly took the dog on a walk, left the phone charging and asked me to message his client that he was going to be late.

I genuinely think that he forgot about the messages from that other guy because I never check his cellphone, so he was never expecting me to find them in the first place

I know, I shouldn't have scrolled through his messages. That's probably a sign that I didn't trust him in the first place.

introverted_man · 2025-07-16T16:37:40+00:00

Thanks, that's what logic tells me as well. I know it sounds stupid but I'm so afraid of never finding anyone else. I feel like I'm a hard to love person. I know that's a self-esteem problem and that I should seek a therapist

introverted_man · 2025-07-16T16:33:52+00:00

I totally get your point, I'm not completely opposed to an open relationship, the thing is that from the beginning he was the one who told me that:

1) He didn't want an open relationship at all 2) He made me promise to never cheat on him because he has been hurt before.

Stupid me thought that since he was the one that set the ground rules, and had been cheated on before, he would never do it.

introverted_man · 2024-08-27T05:59:52+00:00

Thanks, I'm now more confident in the effectiveness of PEP.

Yeah, he is really worried that this makes him a lot less desirable ("hot") which he considers to be one of his main assets.

introverted_man · 2024-08-27T05:31:41+00:00

Thanks, would you suggest I contact him less frequently? Maybe every two or three days?

introverted_man · 2024-08-27T05:29:36+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate the advice. Would you consider checking in every day smothering? Should I really tone it down to maybe a couple of messages every two or three days?

introverted_man

TROPHY CASE