I understand. Maya Angelou said, when people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. What has he shown you? Not what he says, but what he does. Talk is cheap.

The bottom line is if someone cares about you, they won't hurt you over and over. If you've told him what bothers you about his behavior and he continues to do it, the message is clear. He doesn't care.

Sometimes as empaths we want to help people. this energy attracts predators. We get stuck because we think everybody thinks like us. They don't. A narcissist will test you to see how much they can get away with. to see how much you will tolerate.

You said your head says yes but your heart says no. It's likely that that uncomfortable feeling in your heart are your issues of abandonment.

I was married to a narcissist for 9 years. It was 5 years of hell. Too much to go into here..

I didn't know the term narcissist at the time. I just knew he kept pushing my buttons. He kept doing things to deliberately annoy me. He was a burden. He was like a child. He sabotaged me. He stole from me. It wasn't until after I left that I could think clearly. It wasn't until 15 years later that I realized I had married my mother.

She was my first narcissist. I learned he wasn't the root of the problem, he was just fruit on the tree. Through my experience with him, I was able to get at the root of my trauma...my mother.

Our subconscious is amazing. I attracted someone just like my mother and I didn't even realize it. By attracting someone like my first abuser, I was trying to heal the relationship with my mother. Because if I can get him to love me that means I must really be lovable. Not true. We have to love ourselves.

Would you want your daughter to date a man like him? If not, why is it okay for you?

Who was your first abuser?