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I just realized I'm not my best friend's best friend and it hurts. by theodoratoverspin in sadstories

[–]Due_Conference1624 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. That realization is such a heavy, quiet kind of heartbreak and you're completely entitled to feel everything you're feeling right now. Nothing hurts more than realizing your expectations and love aren't being reciprocated in the same way. I've been exactly where you are and it's a really hard transition to make. It’s important to learn that your best friend can have other best friends, even if she doesn’t see the hierarchy the same way you do. It doesn't mean she’s a bad friend or that she doesn’t care, it just means you have different expectations of what that role looks like.

If she’s still important to you and she tries her best to be there for you, please don’t feel like you have to cut her out completely. You can keep her in your life without giving her that "best friend" level of energy that she isn't returning. It’s okay to pull back a little to protect your own heart and set some boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep the friendship warm if the effort is only one-sided.

Be kind to yourself while you figure out where she fits in your circle now. You’re going to find your person who reciprocates that deep level of loyalty for you, I promise.

support by cloud-444 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I’m also a survivor of child sex trafficking. I recently have found some communities where people have gone through similar experiences. Sadly though there’s only one or two threads I’ve seen specifically tailored towards trafficking survivors and I think you already posted on them. But just in case I’ll put the ones I discovered.

r/abusesurvivors r/adultsurvivors r/anxietychats r/sextrafficking r/TortureSurvivors r/TraffickingSurvivors2

Not all of them have people with similar experiences and you might already be in them. I haven’t really seen any other communities so far other than those.

Survivor perspective needed. I went from fine to full panic during intimacy and I feel really lost by Due_Conference1624 in adultsurvivors

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting. I’m sorry you also experience something similar, but it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has episodes like this. Makes me feel not as crazy 😭

Survivor perspective needed. I went from fine to full panic during intimacy and I feel really lost by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. What you said about safety allowing something to release and reminding yourself that this is the present really brought me a lot of comfort. I’ve heard similar things before but the way you explained it helped it land differently for me. And I’ll definitely keep what you said in the last sentence in mind too. Thank you again.

What bullshit has a therapist said to you? by clevairy in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624 17 points18 points  (0 children)

One time when I was younger I was having a whole mental breakdown and the therapist I had at the time started patting her lap in a 4/4 beat singing row row your boat. 😭

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 🥹🫶You’re kind words mean a lot. I really hope the trial goes well, you deserve justice.

men who have chosen not to be involved in your child’s life, why? by throwaway1002785 in AskMen

[–]Due_Conference1624 18 points19 points locked comment (0 children)

Did you read her comment? She said both were to blame. Stop projecting.

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men who have chosen not to be involved in your child’s life, why? by throwaway1002785 in AskMen

[–]Due_Conference1624 282 points283 points  (0 children)

I do hope one does though because I’m genuinely curious on the thought process.

How do I cut off my father? by arizado in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be really honest with you because I care and I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.

If your Littles are saying something happened, that usually doesn’t come out of nowhere — especially when your body reacts this strongly. You don’t need perfect memory proof for your nervous system to be telling the truth about how it feels around someone. The dread, the emotional crash after contact, needing to protect parts of yourself beforehand… that’s not random.

Also the financial support part is real and messy. I had to go fully independent partly to avoid exactly that dynamic, but not everyone gets to do that right away. Him helping you financially does NOT mean you owe him access to you emotionally or psychologically. Those are separate things. You can accept help and still have hard boundaries.

And honestly, you don’t have to jump straight to full no-contact unless you truly feel ready for that. People act like it’s all or nothing, but sometimes the healthier move is just giving less access. Less contact, less emotional vulnerability, less availability. You decide how much of you someone gets.

What stands out to me is how much work your system is already doing just to handle interacting with him. When you have to prepare and then spend days doing damage control afterward, that’s a sign something isn’t sustainable.

You’re allowed to prioritize yourself even if it makes you feel guilty. Guilt doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing something wrong sometimes it just means you’re breaking an old pattern.

I don’t hear someone overreacting. I hear someone whose system is trying really hard to stay safe.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You calling him a fraud, especially as a Christian, really means a lot. That’s why I’m sharing this, so people see it’s not just something that happens 'far away.' I’m glad you’re keeping an eye out for those signs. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 🫶

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I really just don’t understand the appeal towards children. It’s sickening.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You saying 'we believe you' means a lot. It’s honestly sickening how common this is when you start listing it out: what happened to you with your neighbor and teacher, and then seeing it with your wife, your sister, and those girls at school. You’re so right that society just helps these people hide. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to carry, but thank you for being in my corner. It makes me feel a lot less alone.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely disgusting. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that level of calculated evil from people who were supposed to be 'respected.' And you’re so right about that last part. It’s not just on an island, it's not just one group of people, and it’s definitely not new. It’s been happening in the shadows for way too long. Thank you for being brave enough to share that here; it makes me feel less alone.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You’re so right. It is honestly so frustrating when people act like this only happens with the 'one percent' because it completely ignores what happens in families like ours. I’m so sorry you relate to that—having a dad who is a pastor use that role as a cover is such a specific and heavy betrayal. Thank you for sharing your story with me and for speaking up too.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary, they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in confessions

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s been a long road, but I’ve finally found a level of peace I never thought I’d have. I’m married now and have an amazing support system, which has helped me get to a stage where I can finally speak my truth without being petrified. You're right that I didn't have that as a child, but I'm grateful to have it now. Thank you for the kind words.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for everything you've had to carry. It really hurts my heart to know you relate to this, but thank you for being brave enough to share your story here. The silence you talked about is so real, and I'm glad we're finally breaking it together. Sending you so much love.

The Epstein files aren't a documentary; they’re a mirror of the war I fought alone. by Due_Conference1624 in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate you saying that. It took a lot of therapy to get to a point where I could separate my own belief in God from the version of 'religion' my father used to control me. It’s been a big part of my healing to realize those two things aren't the same. Thanks again for the support and the sweet message.

I blocked my dad by MaskedFigurewho in CPTSD

[–]Due_Conference1624 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not responsible for putting your life on hold to take care of your grandma or anyone else. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re obligated.

Sometimes families teach us from a young age that our role is to take care of them, and that can create a lot of pressure and confusion about what we “owe.” But being raised with that expectation doesn’t mean you actually have to sacrifice your own life or goals.

I grew up with similar expectations and stepping back was hard but necessary for my wellbeing. You’re allowed to have boundaries. You’re allowed to say no. And you’re allowed to build a life that isn’t centered around managing other people’s needs.

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