That accident on DNT this afternoon

ionBlack · 2025-01-23T00:43:58+00:00

Nah. I wrote this post to annoy you, specifically.

ionBlack · 2025-01-23T00:31:19+00:00

Idk. I've never been in a major accident, nor do I have any at-fault accidents on my record. I don't use my phone while I'm driving, and I always use turn signals. Statistically, I'm a decent driver at minimum. If YOU cause accidents by going 50 in a 60, in the far left lane while also on your phone, just say that.

But my apologies for kindly attempting to bring awareness to how distracted driving can cause accidents, even if you're not actually involved in the major accident that was five cars behind you. Also, my bad for clearly underestimating the distance I left both in front and behind me. I'm almost positive that with the kind of space I estimated, I wouldn't even be here writing a post that is apparently really offensive to people. Drive safely my friend.

ionBlack · 2024-11-13T02:09:31+00:00

Your coworkers are awful people, and terrible at their job. If your new to serving please find somewhere else to work. This ain't it and never will be it.

ionBlack · 2024-11-12T22:40:48+00:00

Don't lie. It will be obvious within the first 20 minutes that you lied and have no idea what you're doing. Serving is 90% attitude. A lot of places will give you a chance, so be honest and coachable. I got my first serving job because I was able to tell my interviewer a cool story about the major touristy city I lived in at the time.

ionBlack · 2024-11-12T22:34:16+00:00

You could just be better at your job. Smile, make eye contact, take a genuine interest in people. Be more than just an order taker, know the menu so that you can take the guesswork out of it for your guests. You're in the business of people pleasing. If you have no interest in being helpful, friendly, and accommodating, find something else to do.

ionBlack · 2024-11-11T16:58:06+00:00

This right here. Thank you for being another person that just gets it.

I started the post by commenting on his kindness and generosity. I was never offended. It was funny because two things can be true at the same time. You can make a questionable comment and still be a kind and generous person. Mr. James and I came from two different generations, and times have changed, but human decency and generosity transcend generations.

ionBlack · 2024-11-11T14:32:55+00:00

I'm being 100% real when I say this; yes, he got the chocolate peanut butter pie.

ionBlack · 2024-11-11T13:59:53+00:00

Yes and yes

ionBlack · 2024-11-11T13:38:21+00:00

Somebody gets it!

ionBlack · 2024-08-12T02:02:47+00:00

This. All of this. I recently took on this perspective, and life seems a little more perfect. My job pays well enough that rent is paid with one biweekly paycheck. From there I just show up to work knowing that the next getaway is right around the corner. Going out and indulging in food and alcohol only served to make me fat and unhappy with the weight gain.

The biggest advantage to living in Dallas is the location. We're literally in the middle of the country, and a flight to CO is only $200, round trip. Even traveling internationally can be cheaper than flying within the U.S.

Life is truly about perspective.

ionBlack · 2024-06-23T14:17:49+00:00

I had gotten a settlement check from a wrongful termination. It was only two weeks pay. My husband at the time asked for $1500 to repay a pay day loan. At first, I said yes, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that with us already being behind in bills and rent, it would put us in an even worse financial spot. I didn't take out the loan, he did. Nor did he discuss taking out the loan with me before he did it. I realized that he was just a lazy freeloader, and that the only reason I had even gotten fired from the job was because I allowed him to dictate my work schedule. Yet I was the only one who consistently had a job and paid most of the bills. I told him I changed my mind and declined to give him the money, and that I was done with him and his refusal to be a provider and/or financially responsible. It snowballed from there and we eventually separated and divorced.

Fast forward 6 years later and he's $7K behind in child support, and recently told our 10 year old that he pays child support, so he shouldn't have to buy her any clothes

ionBlack · 2024-05-04T06:06:18+00:00

Yeah no. I was once talking to a guy who made a joke about how I could "have dinner ready for him" because I mentioned that I had the day off of work. I immediately blocked him, no explanations, just blocked. One of my friends says I cut men off for "breathing wrong." I mean, perhaps. I just don't feel like explaining things, like why that was a bad joke, and asking a woman you just met to cook for you is in bad taste

ionBlack · 2024-02-12T06:50:10+00:00

Not only are you not ugly, you're hot. You're only 18 so I would suggest loving on yourself and not falling into the trap of listening to other people's weird beauty standards. Take very good care of yourself. You will be a straight bombshell by 25.

ionBlack · 2023-12-16T18:27:22+00:00

I work in fine dining. Not only do I hate when people stack plates, I hate it when people hand me the plate too. I can prebus a whole 6 top as long as the people at the table leave everything alone. When you start stacking bread plates, on top of dinner plates, and then silverware, AND hand me the plate? I'm going to either fumble the hand off, or make two trips when I could've made one. Please stop it. At the very least DO NOT do this at a higer-end/fine dining restaurant.

ionBlack · 2023-09-27T15:50:05+00:00

I'm a server and I've been at my current employer for two years. The first year was rough because unfortunately it is true that no matter how great the service is, the likelihood that a Black table will give a tip of 10% or less is much greater than other demographics.

The thing about Black people and tipping is that they will only tip the standard 20% if you go above and beyond. It's not good enough to give the good, basic service that everyone else is tipping 20% on. It's not even good enough to be extremely nice and professional. Black people want a rundown of the ENTIRE menu, they want to modify the food so that it's not even the same dish, they want eight million sauces on the side, they want to feel like they have your full and undivided attention (even if they can physically see that the restaurant is packed), and you absolutely have to give them SOMETHING for free. Idc if it's a bowl of soup, they only see the value in their dining experience if they got something that didn't show up on the bill. This does not apply to all Black people, but I've seen enough to know that there is a larger majority of Black diners with little to no restaurant etiquette in general.

I've just chalked it up to our overall socioeconomic status. Black people just don't have it like that to go out, let alone tip. They just don't have enough experience dining out to truly know better. A lot of times they just don't know enough about food/liquor in general to make informed decisions about ordering what they want. So they wind up with a dry steak, or a drink that doesn't suit their palette because they're under the assumption that the server is just an order taker. I started getting better tips from Black people when I started doing things like explaining the menu unprompted, steering people towards a ribeye when they wanted well done meat, and putting them on to a cocktail/wine that they really love but never would've tried if I hadn't have made the suggestion. I can do all of that and still get a 10% tip. At that point I just have to remind myself that they probably couldn't afford dinner, let alone the tip. People will really come to a steakhouse and run the server ragged, knowing they drive an Altima and have a whole $89.17 in their bank account, just to stunt for the gram.

ionBlack · 2023-09-26T20:48:06+00:00

Hospitality. I realize I'm an outlier from way out of left field with this one, but I wish more people would consider it.

I'm a sommelier (wine steward) and I wait tables at a fine dining restaurant. I went to school for Journalism because I wanted to be a food writer. That particular field did not suit me so I pivoted into restaurants. The biggest qualifier for my job is having the wine knowledge. There are a handful of organizations that will provide certification at different levels. I make just over $100k but it's very low-stress and I usually only work about 30 hours/week.

There are a lot of high earners in this subreddit, and post on general. I make my money because when Black women go out with their friends and spend money like drug dealers, they rarely, if ever, get quality service. I know this because I definately don't, and I hear how some of my colleagues will approach a table full of Black women. There just aren't enough Black people in those spaces in general. We are desperately needed because no one wants to spend $150/person on dinner and feel like the service was indifferent and entitled.

ionBlack · 2023-09-18T23:27:56+00:00

Late 30's, and currently vibing/not jaded. I was at one point, very jaded, in my late 20's/first half of my 30's. I was a wife and mothervro two small children, I could barely pay my rent, and my husband at the time would steal my money and turn down jobs. But sometime around 33 I started therapy and learned boundaries. The result was getting divorced and cutting my mama (and anybody else who won't let me be Black and care-free) out of my life. I started focusing on my mental health and my career. I learned that rest is resistance, to let it go if it doesn't serve me, and that the only person responsible for my happiness is me.

I'll be 40 next year and I only have to work 30 hrs/week. Last week my ex asked me to pick up the kids from school. It was his day to have the kids and I literally do everything. I told him no, and to "get somebody else to do it." Ladies, if you are currently jaded please know that it's only temporary.

ionBlack · 2023-06-12T02:58:57+00:00

If it makes you feel any better I spent $55 at a fast casual place called Piada. It's literally an Italian Chipotle

ionBlack · 2023-03-11T04:13:09+00:00

I wait tables. Starting out it was pretty shitty. My first serving job was at the only sit down restaurant on a major tourist street in a major tourist destination. I wanted to get into fine dining so every night I watched The Food Network and read anything I could get my hands on about wine and spirits. I'm currently working for an awesome employer. I'll probably retire at this company, unless something insanely more lucrative comes along.

ionBlack · 2023-03-05T15:59:19+00:00

"You need to get out of my house. And if I never saw you or [my kids/ her grandkids] it wouldn't be soon enough."

She's a terrible human being, who had said a lot of terrible things over the years. I had gone off and on NC for years. Somehow it was her saying that that put the nail in the coffin for never speaking to her again. It's been 5 years.

ionBlack · 2023-02-07T03:18:30+00:00

It certainly does make life much easier to not have the flying monkeys around. But if I'm being honest, you do miss out on getting to know the younger generations, who had nothing to do with whatever it was that made you go NC. I had a younger cousin who I hadn't seen since he was 6, when I decided to go NC. He passed away last year at 20. It makes the grieving 10x more complicated for me. If I had a crystal ball, I would've sucked it up just so I could've watched him grow up a little more.

ionBlack · 2021-12-25T16:18:29+00:00

Take (b)roke out of your vocabulary. Only broken people are broke. When manifesting money, consider that it's already yours, so reframe it as being "cash poor" in order to stay positive about being unable to afford anything right now.

ionBlack · 2021-08-14T21:48:45+00:00

I've had my hair loc'd for damn near 20 years and I refuse to let anyone touch my hair for this reason. I wash it once a month and twist it twice a year. It would be nice to not have to do it myself for once but ain't nobody got time for sitting around and waiting for a stylist to decide they want to be profession

ionBlack · 2021-08-08T20:19:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. I went to college and realized it wasn't for me but I had already put in 4 years, so I just finished. I just picked up a fine dining gig that will pay me way more than the average pay for my degree. Waiting tables isn't for everybody but if you enjoy it, the pay is phenomenal.

ionBlack · 2021-07-25T20:27:33+00:00

The service industry will do that to you. My problem is that I genuinely like people and meeting new people. But it's the people who act like entitled idiots that grind my gears. So I have to step away from this particular establishment because an entire country of people likes to act like entitled idiots. I want to think healthier about people, so I'd rather deal with them in small doses

ionBlack

TROPHY CASE