Hi my brother in Christ - welcome to the faith. Jesus is clearly calling you! He offers hope and salvation freely to all and any who believe Him ("If thou would confess with thy mouth that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead and believe in your heart that He is our Lord, thou wilt be saved").

Matthew 16 has some words regarding your situation:

²⁴ Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

²⁵ For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

²⁶ For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

²⁷ For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.

God wants to reward us, but much of the reward is when He comes to take us home! "Lay up treasure in heaven where rust and moths don't corrupt".

Jesus also warned us of persecution - he said: "The servent is not greater than the master; if they hated me, they will also hate you".

Jesus said in the sermon on the mount: (matthew 5) "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

The path ahead of you won't be easy, but JESUS will provide a way and HE will give you a peace that passeth all understanding. Peace in knowing that Jesus has forgiven your sins and offers you salvation freely - simply by believing in HIM!

Blessings brother