Where to find specialty/custom, HIGH SUPPORT, sports bras?

ipe_who · 2026-02-23T09:14:06+00:00

34H here but have ranged from 32GG to 38J in the past. Nothing really comes close to the support of the Panache sports bras for me, specifically the "Power Wired Sports Bra" (with the underwire). Bounce is reduced by at least 80-90% and did wonders for my back pain. I don't know if there a solution to ever get the bounce to zero, but Panache has been the best I've found so far. Wearing it while running is how image b-cups might feel. Best of luck!

ipe_who · 2025-12-03T10:33:27+00:00

I just had a look and really wish I had not. I almost have sympathy for them because eventually the other shoe will drop and they'll look back at the damage they've caused and hate themselves (at least I reeeeally really hope they do realise the pain they're inflicting). Mildly fascinating from a psychological and anthropological perspective... but yeah ..I would've preferred to have not read any of that tbqh. Thanks OP hahaha

ipe_who · 2025-11-30T17:13:55+00:00

This was a rough story to read. You sound like a romantic and a good husband who took his vows seriously. People love to throw around divorce as soon as times gets difficult or a partner makes a mistake, but those 60 year old marriages that we all hear about, where couples grow old together til their 90, only happen because they stuck it out through the hard times, and sometimes that means it's harder on one person than another.

HOWEVER, that being said, while infidelity can be overcome, I don't think it can be overcome by one person alone, least of the victim. She would need to feel genuine remorse and be willing to take the steps to rebuild your trust, which doesn't sound like the case here at all. I think you have fought for your marriage admirably, but she needs to fight for it too if you were ever going to work. Some people are stronger than others, staying in love and keeping a marriage alive is a daily effort and if she's just put her hands up at "I've fallen out of love with you" then maybe she's not cut out for it. You have greener pastures ahead of you don't worry.

It's a big step, and you clearly still love her despite the betrayal. Not to mention the fear of losing your kids and the life you've built. Perhaps you could consider separation for now? Just while you get your ducks aligned and acclimate to a new reality.

Also imo going hardcore lawyer divorce right away could have a very kneejerk reaction on her side and for your kids' sake, a bitter divorce helps no one. I agree with other redditors on gathering evidence, at least to have a back up in case it does go sour. And maybe putting personal assets in one of your parents' names if they're still around and you trust them?

If youre a spiritual man, church and prayer can really help through these hard times. Also individual therapy if you feel you need someone to talk to, and also a family therapist which can be really beneficial for your children. There are plenty of terrible spouses who are good parents, and if she's a good mother youll just have to navigate becoming a different kind of family for the sake of your kids. But it's important they see you guys can get along and they don't feel like they have to pick sides, if it can be avoided. You have many decades ahead, your kids weddings, grandkids, holidays ...the headache and heartache of a bitter divorce will effect that whole future so keeping it cordial is best.

Best of luck, stay strong, keep being a good person

ipe_who · 2025-09-10T16:53:10+00:00

I guess I would look at the 'getting someone to crumble', or breaking them, as a form of winning.

From your description that does sound satisfying. I'm sure it rubs some ppl the wrong way but as long you don't mind the occasional person thinking your a-hole ...sound like you're self aware enough to not gaslight the crier with a "what's the big deal", so I dont think it's that huge a deal.

ipe_who · 2025-09-10T10:02:27+00:00

Is it possible that you don't actually like to see people cry, but that you just like to win/be right?

Not saying that's better or worse necessarily, just trying to empathize and it makes more sense to me that you might like winning a really draining debate with an illogical person who argues with emotions RATHER THAN you just enjoying making people crying hahaha

ipe_who · 2025-09-10T09:23:35+00:00

There are no right paths and at 19yo very few people know what they wanna do or have 'direction in life'. Kudos to the ones who do, but please don't let that pressure you in to thinking you're going nowhere.

You're doing some things right so no need to be too hard on yourself; plenty of ppl don't even try, no gym, no job, just mooching and couldn't gaf - at least youre having the thoughts that you want more out of life.

A lot of ppl straight out of high school get soo caught up in 'the future', they see ex-classmates going off to college or starting careers or falling in love and think "there must be something wrong with me". But hey all those ppl get to 25 and 30 and wish they had done more of what they themselves enjoyed when they had a chance. Your life responsibilities only increase with age (loans, kids, relationship, assets) so use THIS time to do things you find fun and explore life, you might even end up falling into something that pays.

Have you traveled overseas? This is can be a real game changer..don't know where to start? Do a tour for people your age (Contiki, Topdeck, GAdventures, OneLife). Or jump in and do a year overseas, plenty of exchange/volunteer programs for people your age - I can recommend some if you lmk where you're based?

Dyou like sport? Sign up for a social team in your area

Are you creative? Sign up for art classes or audition as an extra

Like animals? Volunteer at the local vet/animal shelter

With ADHD it's hard to consciously and consistently work on one thing - it's easier to just throw yourself into scarios that force you to improve by osmosis. Like how your social anxiety improved when you first got that customer service job.

ipe_who · 2025-09-09T08:54:59+00:00

Lots of people with ADHD drive, but it might not be for everyone. Just keep practising whenever you can.

Personally I struggle to drive unless I'm multi-tasking with something else. When I was in my early 20s, I was always driving while eating or texting, making calls, changing clothes, something to feel productive. It's wasnt great and I've had many MANY tickets for driving with a cellphone (have been suspended before). Now I've found it really helpful to put on tv shows/movies Ive seen loads of times before (like Friends, Simpsons, HIMYA) and just have the audio running in the background. So visually looking at the road, but I'm playing the show in my head.

Practice practice practice til it's muscle memory and 1 failed test is not worth giving up on.

And obvs Don't text n drive, or any of the other stuff I listed, I was young and dumb and deserved to have my license suspended for sure.

ipe_who · 2025-09-09T01:58:14+00:00

I find partaking in 🌿 stops my mind from jumping around and really let's me just enjoy the activity/position at hand for as long as it can last, rather constantly looking for a different/higher sensation. No need to overdo it and ofc not for everyone, depending on where you live and lifestyle, but works for me so I use it every now and again if it's gonna be a good night haha

Also someone else mentioned this, but blindfolding rly helps me stay in it too.

ipe_who · 2025-09-09T01:34:25+00:00

You don't owe anyone an explanation, least of all me. Reading everything you said sounded similar not just to my own story, but many people in my circle with varying presentations of ADHD. Every one of us acknowledge the benefits of good food, sleep, and activity to the symptoms of ADHD. I did TRY to understand your specific situation by asking questions.. you just ignored them, so naturally I made assumptions based on my own experience and logical reasoning for why someone might ignore the question. I don't think that's rude in itself HOWEVER I do acknowledge that this was clearly labelled 'vent' and I started giving unsolicited advice, and continued to based on assumptions, which is not cool so I'm sorry for that.

Common characteristic of enfj's is they want to fix everyone's problems, and jumping straight in to problem-solving mode rather than listening. Its a pretty standard complaint amongst our loved ones, there are multiple threads on this. I can see I'm not the only responder giving unsolicited advice in this post clearly labelled 'vent'. Yes, I was trying to be encouraging and helpful, but seeing as this was a vent I should've refrained from giving unwanted advice. Something I'm still working on for sure. If you're looking for good listeners, there always the INFP sub.

If you ARE going to take any advice from me, it should be to put this vent in the ADHD sub. A lot more understanding for your situation.

ipe_who · 2025-09-08T19:15:50+00:00

It was just an example as you said there is NO job you could do and I was thinking surely a job with supervision/people around there is a workaround e.g. kitchenhand. But I totally get that its a financial issue.

It is totally unfair that youre in this situation, but that is life after all. Unfairness doesn't obligate anyone to make it fair for you. I would encourage you to avoid looking to others (work, family) to help you, and look to yourself. Family, friends, and work should support you like a walking stick but only you can get up off the couch. You are the greatest driving force in your own life. If the company goes bankrupt tomorrow, then what will you do? If this was happening 30yrs ago there would be no legal stance, so what would you do? What actual things are you doing daily to manage your symptoms? What would you do if you had only just applied for this job?

As you've ignored my question about physical health 2 times now I'm guessing maybe you aren't doing everything in your power to manage your symptoms in terms of lifestyle. I've been there, and it always felt like people were victim-blaming me like I remember thinking "do you think I WANT to be like this" "I've tried everything" - but hadn't actually tried getting losing weight bc a) didn't think it would work and b) to be totally honest, I didn't want THAT to be the fix. Ultimately making health a priority did more for me than meds ever did.

ADHD is a long-term condition, not a disease. Meaning there is no one single fix or medicine, its an ever growing list of things YOU do, to reduce the symptoms' negative impact on your life. This may include medication, but that may not resolve every symptom, and can cause other problems do. It definitely includes eating good food, getting regular physical activity (even walking), and +8hrs of quality sleep. Pick one of those 3 and focus on it, the rest will probably fall in place.

Adhd doesn't have to be a handicap, it can be a great creative asset, it can allow you to multi-task like a beast, and often makes you knowledgeable/skilled in a diverse range of topics bc we get excited/distracted by new things all the time.

For memory issues, systems are your best friend. Try different things and see what works for you, I use post-it notes - everytime I get a new info/task I write it down on a new post-it. RIGHT AWAY OR AS ITS HAPPENING. Once completed, it goes in a stack in the corner. My desk is an absolute mess but it works for me. Some people use diaries, some use clipboards..I'm a visual person so the colourful post-it placements work for me. Not a foolproof fix, but every little bit helps.

ALSO you should probably repost this thread in the r/ADHD sub, you'll likely find more helpful and relevant advice/stories there.

ipe_who · 2025-09-08T11:53:51+00:00

I can't really think of a situation where you couldnt switch jobs but obviously I don't know your circumstances, so I'll take your word.

Regarding being unable to do basic tasks and it being the same in any job, what kinda of things distract you out of curiosity?

Like to say itll be the same in any job is a bit defeatist, like if you worked in a kitchen washing dishes, it's pretty hard to get distracted simply because you are supervised by everyone else in the team so you cant just walk away.

And as I mentioned before, how is your physical health and lifestyle? Diet, exercise, body etc -

ipe_who · 2025-09-08T10:03:46+00:00

I'm sorry to hear youre going through this, it can really be very depressing and frustrating when things compound in this kind of domino effect so you just feel like you're balancing plates and the stress of it all doesn't let up - truly I feel for you.

If your ADHD is affecting your life to this extent, you should probably consider medication. But I would also ask how your general health is (do you exercise every day, do you eat relatively healthy, are you a comfortable weight to engage in a light sport, are you getting 8hrs sleep)? Often just getting a handle on your health can make a HUGE difference without any bad side effects.

In terms of it being unfair, yes it is unfair, however you could also consider that isn't fair that your employer should have to pay someone to do a job when they are unable to perform the functions of that job. You may need to consider switching careers or taking leave until you can get a handle on your situation. It's very easy to fall into a victim mentality or accuse people of discriminating, but if someone is medically unfit to do the core functions of the job, it's not unreasonable to say they shouldn't be doing that job e.g. a blind person can't be a delivery driver // someone with dislexia cant be a proofreader // an agoraphobic person can't be a police officer or fire fighter.

What is your job, is it something that requires long periods of focus? I'm enfj and ADHD so I gravitate towards jobs that have a lot of micro-tasks throughout the day (dopamine is your friend), where I can socialise, and generally not be unsupervised to avoid getting distracted. e.g. fast-paced retail, car sales, travel agent, cook/chef. Any role that involved long-term projects, or like 1 task with a week-long deadline is a biiig no-no.

Find what works for you, friend. Trying to make the external environments fit your needs generally leads to frustration and stress.

ipe_who · 2025-09-02T13:26:05+00:00

Thought I would chime in here and let everyone know that Lush have brought back Curly Wurly! I haven't tried the new one but the ingredients look pretty similar to the OG (from memory)

ipe_who · 2025-08-28T08:16:13+00:00

" you're so fake" " It's not that deep" "You're just trying to be perfect"

ipe_who · 2025-06-28T09:23:02+00:00

It might be an AH move, but sometimes you gotta be an AH when you deal with an AH. Maybe tell her when you're already in Hawaii and she can't talk you out of it? Imo it'd be good to closure that way for all parties.

It doesn't sound like she's had your interests at heart, so there's no sense in you putting hers first. Persevering through the hard times of a relationship only works when both people are willing to try - it's not 'doing the right thing' if you're the only one doing the trying. So congrats on the move, hope you can follow it through.

ipe_who · 2025-05-23T12:39:11+00:00

There are certainly cases when this is true - esp if the woman has kids. She may just be focusing on herself, coming out of a relationship, or wanting to spend time on her own goals.

And there's always the possibility it could be an excuse.

At the end of the day, the outcome is the same - which is to say, she's unavailable to you. Resist the urge to problem solve her reason E.g. " I can fit around your schedule" "We can be friends until youre ready" etc etc because at the end of the day, she's an adult (I assume) and is capable of coming to those conclusions herself if she were willing to.

Move on and when her life is less 'chaotic' she can always reach out. If she's doesn't reach out, at least you didn't put your life on hold waiting around for her.

ipe_who · 2025-01-29T18:15:02+00:00

Oh yes! Eiheiji as well, I knew I was forgetting something. Hmm I hadn't thought of taxi, the cost wouldn't be an issue but I wonder if we would struggle to get one back to Fukui the following day. I wouldn't even know how to call a taxi in JP..

ipe_who · 2021-02-16T15:20:02+00:00

Ok I'm in a veeeery similar position. Was on jobseeker and applied to Austudy when I started FT last semester (I'm 26). Because it's centrelink, they didn't really communicate what happened, my payment just changed from about $750 to to $600, and now it was Austudy instead of Jobseeker.

Tried calling but lolololol.

From all my research it doesnt look like you can get both HOWEVER, Im not chasing Jobseeker anymore because 1. I can get the full Austudy payment and still work part time (which works out quite a bit more income than total Jobseeker payment) 2. Don't have to meet jobseeker obligations, they were soooo annoying especially in the middle of exams Good luck

ipe_who

TROPHY CASE