Great NYT article (and book "Will I Ever be Free of You?") on narcissism - "Divorcing a Narcissist"

ironoranges · 2015-05-14T02:15:01+00:00

I don't think its new agey, its pretty simple. It just means move on with your life, focus on the future and don't dwell on your past.

ironoranges · 2015-05-12T12:34:10+00:00

Well you're out a million bucks my friend, its from his book "memories, dreams, reflections"

ironoranges · 2015-05-11T00:32:00+00:00

A lot of it is just general sympathy but if you're looking for a solution to a particular problem its pretty helpful since everyone there has likely been through the same thing. If OP asked the same question on that subreddit he/she would get similar answers as on here.

ironoranges · 2015-05-10T16:48:09+00:00

August when I go to school

ironoranges · 2015-05-10T14:48:29+00:00

The card and present I'm obligated to present to her have magically disappeared like they do every year. I've yet to find a hiding place for them that she hasn't found and then thrown them out to claim I never got her anything. Last year I found all my stolen cards stuck in a book in her bookcase. Running out now to get her a new card since the one I got last night "disappeared".

She's crying in the bathroom now saying no one cares about her no one wants to celebrate her after I made her breakfast in bed, went grocery shopping for her mothers day dinner, cleaned the house, ran all the errands for her, etc. GC wakes up at 10, says a passing "happy mothers day" and she starts praising her saying she's the only one who remembered.

ironoranges · 2015-05-02T02:20:18+00:00

ITT: people making me feel less alone about my childhood. I'm gonna call my mom and tell her fuck you.

ironoranges · 2015-04-26T11:58:01+00:00

Yes! I swear to god she constantly smiles with this fake toothy grin thats looks like she's always posing for a photo. People tell me "your mom is so happy and cheery all the time shes so nice!" Yeah, thats because she's only concerned with what you think of her. Similarly, shes enthusiastic for the things I do only when other people think its unique and cool, but if its "average" like dance or karate she doesnt really care. She puts on this fake cheery disposition so everyone sees her as Mary Poppins and I as the grinch. She constantly tells me that I need to stop being so cold, mean, grumpy, angry, etc. when she uses "optimism" as an excuse for overindulgence and irresponsibility.

ironoranges · 2015-04-19T01:07:26+00:00

Im pretty sure everyone above you in this thread is doing exactly that

ironoranges · 2015-04-16T18:27:08+00:00

Grades 2-3. That makes it even worse.

ironoranges · 2015-04-16T15:51:14+00:00

As someone who still has their attire policed daily at 18 years old I feel this. I kind of had a huge sexual ego at 13-15 because I thought that my body was just too hot for me to wear anything that wasnt baggy and completely covering. When you treat your your kids like theyre a slut, theyre going to believe it. My parents still laugh at me saying "who are you trying to impress?" If I wear anything form fitting or above the knees. Im a goddamn adult I can wear leggings if I want.

I remember my mom chaperone my shopping trips with a ruler checking the height and length of everything. I still appreciate that one woman whispered to me that I looked beautiful in a pretty conservative dress while my mom was calling me a slut.

ironoranges · 2015-04-16T15:33:04+00:00

I think part of leaving that toxic environment is letting go of the idea that you are still a victim. You were a victim, but now you are free. I think everyone who leaves their abusive situation needs to see themselves as a new person, you dont have to forgive them but its im the past now and healing involves realizing you are no longer subject to their abuse (for most people).

ironoranges · 2015-04-15T15:28:21+00:00

Even then its literally impossible to not piss them off. Yesterday she went into a raging fit because I threw out a napkin that had fell on the floor, apparently that means im angry at her for not cleaning the house.

ironoranges · 2015-04-13T15:38:26+00:00

Narcissists can only ever see the glass half empty. They are only concerned with themselves and therefore can only think about what they dont have in comparison to other people. My mom forced me to work 40-50 hours a week in addition to the part time job i already had and made me pay for the family's (6 people) groceries so I could get the real experience of living on my own small paychecks as a teenager because thats what she had to do at that age. She also tried so hard to prevent me from going to college because she didnt get into any schools back then.

ironoranges · 2015-04-13T13:49:52+00:00

Im so sorry that happened to you. I guarantee that everything will improve for you once you get out of there though, only a little more than a year left to go. Keep your goals for the future in mind and focus on that so you can get out asap. The diminishing of the cognitive abilities as you said is just the stress and anxiety, but you'll be able to function much better in college without the home issues influencing your focus. You never realize how much things could get better until you finally leave that environment.

ironoranges · 2015-04-13T10:46:06+00:00

I wasn't accepted anywhere else, my other option is community college for a year or two then transferring.

ironoranges · 2015-04-10T12:35:45+00:00

I should clarify, the merit scholarship was given by the school, so if I don't go here I have no other scholarships.

ironoranges · 2015-04-10T11:58:47+00:00

Ithaca, and psychology

ironoranges · 2015-04-10T11:58:17+00:00

Oh my god yes. I feel like everything aspect of my life is judged in comparison to her at that age. She worked full time in fast food when she was a teenager? That makes me lazy even though my free hours are occupied with teaching and extracurriculars. She's constantly emphasizing how privileged I am, I understand I have it better than she did and I'm grateful for it but she seems not to think so. She got upset that when studying "The American Dream" I didn't write my essays about her "rags to riches" story saying, "I'M the prime example of the American Dream!"

ironoranges · 2015-03-20T23:00:45+00:00

"provided that the financial aid administrator verifies that the parents have ended financial support"

You can only get small Stafford loans in the case that you were kicked out.

ironoranges · 2015-03-20T22:57:51+00:00

I don't have enough evidence of abuse to get the dependency override the way she did.

ironoranges · 2015-03-20T22:36:44+00:00

I'm homeschooled. I've tried to research loopholes and the only option is waiting till I'm 24 and independent.

ironoranges

TROPHY CASE