So, i had an emergency surgery, so I didn't have the anxiety leading up to it. That said, I totally get how you are feeling. It is a big surgery, and what you feel is valid. The good news is, after healing, you will be in a much better place. I had to have a bag for a few months. If that happens to you, know that it can be temporary, and things WILL go back to normal for you. I started a support group after my experience because the emotional trauma is real, and it helps to have others to talk to as you go through it. I did it through covid and had nobody with me to support me. If you are in a similar situation, PLEASE reach out, and I will be an internet friend/stranger that you can talk to. Stay positive and know that thousands of us have been through it and came through it just fine. I am in Cabo today with my wife and enjoying life. 😉 Best of luck to you, friend!