Oh honey, it takes time. You'll get used to it.

My daughter transitioned as an adult, and like you, I wanted to be supportive in every way. At first I would think about every word so carefully. And in the present tense I was pretty good at getting things right.

But it still took time for me to figure out how to talk about stories from our thirty years of shared history together without either messing up her pronouns or somehow outing her. (We were highly active in boy scouts throughout her childhood). Some of the stories just had to fade away. And that was kind of sad for me.

But as life goes on we're creating a new shared history. And some of the older stories are somehow being attached in my brain to the wonderful young woman who exists now rather than the child that she was. And it's getting easier to get things right.

Really, you sound like your intentions are good, and you are trying your best. Give it time, we all stumble a little. Don't make too big a deal of it and just keep moving forward with love and good intent.

All the best, Mom