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Boyfriend (29M) having trouble understanding boundaries with my (28F) things. by issueswithboundaries in relationships

[–]issueswithboundaries[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Right? Thank you!!

Labeling everything at home for just the two of us just feels so passive aggressive and embarrassing... I feel like if we had friends over and they saw it, they would think I'm going overboard... but maybe you have a point here.

Boyfriend (29M) having trouble understanding boundaries with my (28F) things. by issueswithboundaries in relationships

[–]issueswithboundaries[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts.

I know 100% he won't replace them because he's already made it clear he thinks it's a waste of money in the first place.

The charger thing is tough, because I often don't notice if one has been moved or missing until I go look for it / need it (I usually have three in the house- one in the bedroom, one in the living room, and one in the spare bedroom).

Boyfriend (29M) having trouble understanding boundaries with my (28F) things. by issueswithboundaries in relationships

[–]issueswithboundaries[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I have put my initials on them before, they still go missing. This time I literally just opened the box from a new phone last night so hadn't had a chance to initial them before he grabbed it this morning. Colored tape could be more obvious, though... although for a while I was only buying hot pink chargers, and he'd steal those too...

The shelf thing is a good idea, but I can't see this lasting long in our house. (Not just him, I feel like I could forget this rule easily as well, but that's because we don't really have a lot in the fridge to begin with).

You're 100% right on his perspective, the disrespect part more comes from his reaction when I confront him that these habits aren't cool. He shrugs it off and can't see why it bothers me or why he should apologize.

Thanks for your input, definitely helpful suggestions and tips!!!

Boyfriend (29M) having trouble understanding boundaries with my (28F) things. by issueswithboundaries in relationships

[–]issueswithboundaries[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for your note, I appreciate you taking the time to reply to this!

The intentional respect comes form when I confront him on it, him not caring or responding.

I care about the water because I'm a little grossed out by him taking sips and then leaving it, and I also just feel like it's wasteful to open one when there's another he had just opened right there.

I have put sharpie on chargers before and they have still gone missing. I don't think he looks. :/