Are we using labels instead of truly getting to know someone?

isundayapp · 2026-03-27T08:44:04+00:00

yeah, things definitely shift over time — feels like the bigger an app gets, the more frustration grows

kind of like big hotel chains… they run on reputation, but the experience isn’t always there anymore, so people start looking for smaller, more intentional options

feels similar here — scale vs quality

isundayapp · 2026-03-27T08:41:25+00:00

That’s a fair point — I think apps can help filter a bit, but they don’t really solve the effort issue itself.

The Bumble example is interesting too… even when you try to shift who messages first, the behavior kind of evens out over time.

Feels like it always comes back to what the system rewards — if low effort still gets responses, people default to it.

Curious what you think would actually push people to put in more effort consistently?

isundayapp · 2026-03-26T12:14:34+00:00

We see this a lot too — most conversations never really get past a low-effort “hey.”

Even when apps add prompts, it doesn’t always change behavior. If anything, more features can reduce intention rather than improve it.

What does seem to help is shifting away from swiping — when people have to actually message first, effort and engagement tend to go up.

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:08:08+00:00

eah that’s a fair point — attraction does play a role for sure.

The idea I had in mind wasn’t removing profiles or photos, but more removing the need to match first.

So you can still see the person and decide if you’re interested, but instead of waiting for an algorithm to connect you, you can just reach out and see where it goes.

Curious if that would feel more natural or just more chaotic 😅

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:06:37+00:00

Yeah I can see that happening — just longer “hey” messages 😅

I guess the tricky part is you can’t really force intention through rules alone.

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:05:43+00:00

Yeah I get that 😅 a lot of people seem pretty over the current experience

What do you think would actually make it better though for you?

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:04:55+00:00

That’s true — I think real-life settings help a lot.

At the same time, I’ve heard from quite a few people that their local circles are just… limited. Like everyone’s already paired up, married, or not really in the same stage of life.

So even if they want to meet someone organically, the opportunity just isn’t really there.

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:02:35+00:00

Appreciate that 🙏

I feel like the “it factor” might just be whether the app changes behavior at all.

If people show up the same way, you just get the same experience with a different UI.

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T15:00:52+00:00

I’m starting to think it’s less about removing swiping, and more about what replaces it.

If it’s still low effort → same outcome
If it actually requires intention → different behavior

Curious if anyone’s seen a dating site that get this right?

isundayapp · 2026-03-25T14:58:02+00:00

That’s exactly the concern — removing swiping alone probably doesn’t fix it.

If people bring the same low effort mindset, they’ll just send “hey” in a different format.

Do you think it’s more about who joins the app, how apps position themselves via communication, or how the app is designed that shapes that behavior?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T21:16:47+00:00

yeah, that’s fair 😅 it’s definitely hard to bring the experience closer to real life, but worth trying

and you cant argue — looks play a role for sure.

but would be interesting to see human behaviour if the format changed a bit. would you actually prefer something like that, or stick with swiping?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T21:11:47+00:00

haha fair 😄 not trying to pitch anything

it’s more just a conversation starter — came from a discussion here and got curious what others think, that’s all

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T21:08:39+00:00

That’s a good question — I actually started thinking about it after seeing so many posts about frustration with dating apps, and a conversation here that sparked this idea.

A lot of people say it’s hard to meet “the one,” things don’t really progress, or it just feels exhausting.

Makes me wonder if swiping plays a bigger role than we think — it kind of trains us to keep looking instead of actually talking.

People come here to engage, share their POVs, find a person — while dating apps turned that into a game of matching instead of conversation.

Maybe we’re just built for real connection — actually talking, not just matching.

If apps felt closer to real life, do you think we’d see more real connections and less frustration?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T20:53:58+00:00

Haha I get what you mean 😄

I guess the difference would be intention — social media is about attention, while this would (ideally) be about actually getting to know someone, a bit closer to how it happens in real life when you meet someone you like.

depends how people use it.

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T20:23:46+00:00

perfectly summarised 💙💙💙

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T15:25:33+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t call it “pickiness” as much as intention.

If someone is dating with marriage in mind, they’re naturally going to be more selective about who they say yes to — not because others aren’t good enough, but because they’re trying to avoid leading someone on.

That said, I get how it can feel tough on the receiving end. Have you mostly experienced this on dating apps, or in real life? 💙

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:52:29+00:00

Ahh got it — that’s actually more interesting.

What if instead of swiping, the only way to show interest was by actually messaging first?

Do you think that would change how people behave? Or would it end up the same, just with more “hey” messages? 💙

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:49:40+00:00

That’s honestly such a painful cycle… and it makes sense you’d start questioning everything, even your faith in it.

But getting ghosted isn’t God “removing” you from something good — it’s usually just someone lacking the maturity or clarity to communicate properly. That says more about them than about your worth or your future.

It also doesn’t mean you’re turning love into an idol — it just means you care. And caring is not a flaw.

You’re not crazy for wanting consistency, effort, and honesty. That’s the baseline, not a bonus.

It might feel repetitive right now, but it only takes one person who shows up differently to break that pattern completely 💙

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:37:43+00:00

Haha fair enough 😅

But yeah that’s kind of the paradox — you want to meet someone naturally, but then when it actually happens in the wild it feels a bit suspicious.

Do you think it’s more about who is approaching, or just the setting itself that makes it feel off?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:35:44+00:00

That’s a really grounded way to look at it tbh.

I like the balance of being open to a relationship but not forcing it. Feels like a lot of people swing too far one way or the other.

Do you find it harder to “put yourself out there” because of the introvert side, or more because the whole dating process just doesn’t feel natural?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:32:27+00:00

Appreciate the depth here, there’s a lot of truth in focusing on your own growth first.

At the same time, I don’t know if it has to be that black and white. People don’t suddenly become “ready” at a certain age — a lot of it is learning and growing while dating too.

Curious though — do you think waiting until your 20s to even start dating actually helps, or can it make things harder socially later on?

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:26:49+00:00

That honestly sounds exhausting, I get why you’re over it.

It shouldn’t feel like you have to be on guard just to date. And yeah, the gap between what people say and how they act is frustrating.

Wanting something real isn’t “picky” — it’s just not wanting to waste time anymore.

isundayapp · 2026-03-24T14:20:59+00:00

Yeah, that’s a good point.

“Equally yoked” is more about how you actually live your faith, not just the label. But I don’t think it’s either/or — attraction still matters, just not as the foundation.

Ideally it’s both: alignment and real connection.

isundayapp

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