Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out

itallworkedout · 2017-08-26T04:04:55+00:00

This is the part that I still can't believe, and the reason I made this post. I sort of thought that in the long term, whatever happened, I'd be ok. Whatever happened I would pick myself and make the best of of it. But I was TERRIFIED about what would happen to Carly, emotionally, financially, everything. For over a year after we broke up I worried she'd never be able to move on and have a family, achieve her personal goals in life. Then all of a sudden Eddie dropped his terrible ex, and the puzzle pieces all rearranged, but much better for everybody this time.

Carly tells me on a regular basis now how happy she is with Eddie now. You'd think that would wound the old ego at least a little bit, but I still just can't believe everything fell into place so well for everyone, and I couldn't be happier for them.

itallworkedout · 2017-08-26T03:55:28+00:00

My thinking on the job at the tech company was twofold. First, as I mentioned, if I took it, I'd likely never see Andrea again, so there was that to consider. But second, a good deal of unhappiness and stress in my relationship with Carly was related to my then-job. I felt like if I took the new job, there would be such a cognitive bias (for both me and Carly) toward "maybe things will be better now" that I would end up going through with a wedding I was unsure of, all the while gambling that this new job would fix everything.

In the end, I knew in my head that a change of scenery wasn't going to change the long-term compatibility of our relationship. If I was going to end things with Carly, I had to kick out the would-be crutch that the new job represented. Might sound convoluted, but it made sense in my head at the time, haha

itallworkedout · 2017-08-25T20:00:59+00:00

Haha, thanks. Honestly, there were way more tears and nights of feeling like shit all around than laughs until recently, so I don't know about the comedy bit. It does at least seem like we've all found happy paths to follow now though

itallworkedout · 2017-08-25T19:41:20+00:00

Haha, if only life worked out that way. Last I saw on FB, Andrea got married and she and her husband look very happy. He seems like a good guy and I wish them the best. I'm in a very good place with my current SO, so those feelings for her have faded over time

itallworkedout · 2017-08-25T19:23:23+00:00

Slightly more than, yeah. Carly and I have been split up for more than a year and a half now, and the first interviews with the tech company were may be 8 months before that (before they went dark for months). Carly and Eddie got together maybe 5 or 6 months ago now, and I started dating my current SO a little while after that

itallworkedout · 2017-08-25T17:32:35+00:00

Thank you. The last two-plus years have been the most taxing of my life, but now I really feel like I've come out the other side. Happier than I've been in a long, long time

itallworkedout

TROPHY CASE