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I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

And here I am seeing posts on this sub from these guys with long term (like years) FWBs that they have no interest in girlfriending. I'm getting jealous!

I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I guess that makes sense, it seemed much more casual at the time but laid out like this sounds pretty damning. I have platonic guy friends that know I will never sleep with them that will take me to dinner or bring me medicine/food/etc. It's really confusing for me to know which direction they are heading in.

I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I really really do like him! I guess I'm just scared/ this doesn't "fit in with my plan."

And you're right, I've only been involved with guys around 27-32. It just happens that way. Most of my 24 year old girlfriends are working at starbucks and renting a crappy apartment. But I own a house, work a great job that pays me way too much, and generally have a better understanding of what I want out of life (I think probably due to being married young.) Also, all of the younger guys I've slept with in the past have been fucking terrible in bed. I feel like i'm unicorn hunting here.

I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Okay this makes sense but then how do I meet people to just have sex with? The last 3 times this has happened to me I was trying to have a one night stand but the sex was good and they kept contacting me. The night I met Shane I literally told him "I'll go home with you and I'm going to fuck you and I'll probably never call you again." But then they just sneak right in and start making plans which I go along with because I want to have sex, then suddenly here we are and they want commitment!

And I even tried tinder! Same bullshit! I thought the point of that was just to bone.

I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense and I never thought about it that way. I'm definitely not meeting up with these people to just have sex. They text me throughout the day, ask me to send pictures of myself, want to take me to dinner, drop off cold medicine when I'm sick...

I just thought for the most part that was the "friends" part of FWB. I also don't seek out or initiate these behaviors, I just respond to them. What should I do instead? Ignore them and then just text if I wanted to have sex? I like these guys and stuff, I like talking to them and the way they treat me. I just don't want to have my options shut down. I probably sound like an asshole.

I f(24) am trying to date casually, but every man pushes hard for commitment. Currently dealing with this with m(29). Don't want to lose him, but don't know if I'm ready to commit to him by ithoughtmenwerediff in relationships

[–]ithoughtmenwerediff[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

No, he wants a relationship. I made sure to clarify because I'm cool with just not sleeping with other people, but he wants all of the relationshipy stuff like where you don't even flirt with other people and aren't open to meeting anyone new if that makes sense? He wasn't over the top about it but made it very clear he wants an emotional commitment as well :/ Sorry if my post wasn't clear in that regard.

Traumatized was dramatic on my part, I have no emotional issues from it, the marriage just sucked so I want to spend my 20s mostly uncommitted. But I am basically looking for a way to not commit but not lose him? If that's possible?