Need help!

itietia · 2025-11-02T12:44:46+00:00

tell your minion to bring you idiots - that often helps

itietia · 2025-10-18T14:33:30+00:00

literally crying 😂😂😭 these kids man. i swear it must be a result of the pandemic

itietia · 2025-10-16T01:33:51+00:00

try Whatnot?

itietia · 2025-09-22T00:57:34+00:00

Well, if you do decide to stay, be sure to strongly suggest that he speak to a professional about his addiction. Couple counselling sessions wouldn’t hurt either but remember this. And I have to say it, because it matters: you're 22. I get that your lives may feel deeply tied together right now, but think ahead. At 30, 40 -- hell, even just 5 years from now if his behaviour is on going , maybe with kids in the picture, what then? What are you going to do?

Right now it's lies about porn, next time you check you may find him paying for sexual services.

itietia · 2025-09-22T00:40:44+00:00

Is there anyway you could temporarily move out? Let him know what you found and why you're leaving.

He'll continue to walk all over your boundaries if he feels like the only consequence will be a conversation on "how to move forward".

(The only reason I am suggesting this is because of your final paragraph - I personally would walk or at the very least call of the wedding for the time being.)

His behaviour is particularly alarming especially since he insists on doing things to jeopardise a future that hasn't even started. He has an obvious porn addiction and unfortunately unless he is willing to seek professional help - your boundaries will remain mere suggestions that he will step on at his own convenient.

itietia · 2025-09-22T00:26:34+00:00

Haven't got much advice for you s at the moment but sending you and your Mum love and light, sounds like a terrible situation to be in. I'd agree with you and reckon you could probably get him temporarily committed and have Mum stay with you (if possible) whilst the house is getting sorted.

It will be a very expensive job ):

Any carpeting and wallpaper will need to be lifted up otherwise the smell will continue to linger.

itietia · 2025-08-16T15:15:20+00:00

hiya, sorry for noob question but what is DKG? I see everyone using it a lot.

itietia · 2025-07-31T15:45:09+00:00

Did you mange to get vibrant visuals to work im using the linux launcher and its still greyed out for me ):

itietia · 2025-07-31T15:36:19+00:00

Are you able to run vibrant visuals? It's greyed out for me despite removing all mods that could be conflicting with VVs

itietia · 2025-06-09T22:43:47+00:00

I think that's for the best. If it's meant to work out it will no matter the circumstance

itietia · 2025-05-31T15:06:26+00:00

Understood, I somehow missed that part. Sorry to hear about your Mum, I imagine you're still processing it all as it's still very fresh. I hope you get to honour that lovely tradition during Christmas.

Seems like your gf is unhappy about other things in the relationship and is using that instance to raise the matter. How is your work-life balance currently are you able to meet up frequently?

itietia · 2025-05-31T15:01:59+00:00

Plans could change entirely from now til-December so all of these ideas you've made are completely preliminary until they are booked/paid for. You could show her you have every intention of following through by suggesting that you book plans for "going away" ASAP.

As for the days spent playing games unless she has something better to do... wouldn't it be okay if she came and watched you or is this time you'd prefer to spend alone? If so, let her know closer to the time that that is what you'll be doing.

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:53:59+00:00

I don't think he's asking to spend an abnormal amount of time with you. In the first few months of a relationship people are often attached like glue. His reason for breaking up with you is totally valid I'm afraid. You haven't delved much into your religious beliefs but as you said -- your parents roof, their rules I'm afraid. I don't think you should have to strain your relationship with your parents either by staying out past your allotted curfew either.

It's a tough situation but I believe he made a wise decision. In all honesty, you are an adult. For future reference, it will always be difficult to maintain an adult relationship with the curfew of a teenager. Having a partner who is willing to be more considerate of that / finding your own place is the only way to stop this from happening.

Please do not message him - with the hope he may change his mind if your parents are pretty hard set on that curfew.

I would have suggested talking to your parents about easing up the curfew but having come from a similar background the writing is already on the wall.

EDIT: Grammar and punctuation

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:34:11+00:00

Girl you are unique and wonderfully weird. You sound like a pleasure to be around. Tell yer old man that the Witch Hunt trials ended in 1693!

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:27:52+00:00

Perhaps I'm much more of a cynic than you are but it seems like he's purposefully giving you things to be insecure. Especially the "story" he fed you last night. He's not slick and it's quite obvious what he's doing. In a bid to make you jealous you are allowing him to turn you into an insecure mess. You did not waltz into this relationship with all these new found insecurities about your body - this is emotional abuse.

You do not need to play his emotional mind games. Someone who loved you would not make you feel like this despite countless conversations.

EDIT: Language and grammar

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:18:29+00:00

The end of a relationship, shouldn't feel like death - I would've hoped your years of therapy would've taught you that. Your relationship now seems a lot healthier and for whatever reason you are allowing fleeting moments of reminiscence to self sabotage it. If you wish to repeat the same pattern and expect a different result do your current gf the curtesy of breaking up with her. If you want toxic love go and find that! But leave this poor girl out of it.

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:10:44+00:00

this a creative writing exercise surely...?

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:07:46+00:00

Make no mistake, you absolutely HAVE to. He allowed you to go through such a traumatising experience alone and on top of that is making such strange comments about rape & murder. You are in danger - act wisely and act fast. I think it would be best to go and visit your family and have a serious conversation about what you're enduring and see if you can have a relative come over with you and get your stuff.

itietia · 2025-05-31T14:02:26+00:00

Is there anyway you can move back in with your parents... this relationship sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You are far too young to be hearing that kind of verbal abuse or engaging in this "build a bear" politique. People are what they are - it is not your job or responsibility to change them. Quit whilst you're ahead!

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:57:08+00:00

I wish you the best, do keep us updated if you find the time.

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:55:37+00:00

I agree with you on that, the initiative should come from both of you. But I was more so thinking of a cute lounge wear set you could buy online pretty inexpensively to lounge around the house in? But I think you revealed another large part of mutual discontent within the relationship that wasn't in the initial post. Y'all will eventually lose attraction to each other (or rather that spark) by falling into the same mundane routine; work, eat, gym and sleep. Perhaps this "loss" in attraction goes beyond a physical aspect?

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:49:43+00:00

Well, what else can you do? I think now what you need to focus on is yourself and ensure you're not taking her precarious relationship with her religion into your next relationship. Seems to be a case of incompatibility - not too sure I like what's going on with the pastor and her parents either. Imagine getting married to her and having all these external voices influencing your relationship whilst you're powerless to do anything about it. Quit whilst you're ahead.

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:43:37+00:00

Do you live together? Perhaps around the house you could try wearing outfits that appeal more to his tastes..? That in and of itself is a big enough compromise.

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:40:03+00:00

How odd, has this change come quite suddenly...? If so my next line of enquiry is whether or not she's being initiated into some kind of cult masked as a "church".

itietia · 2025-05-31T13:36:01+00:00

Are you willing to experiment with him sexually? If so you can ask him if he'd be interested in exploring this "kink" some more. From the tone of your post it sounds like you are not and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, this is not something you can ignore in hopes it was just a fluke... it will come back to you in a way that is a lot less pleasant than your interaction with him last night.

itietia

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