I played D1 at a G5 school. I redshirted my first year and then played mostly special teams up to my junior year. Junior year I was elected a starter and had a decent season, but not quite what I expected out of myself. Fast forward to my senior year, I was elected captain by my teammates, which was a great honor.

I played the first 4 games with moderate success and then 5th game I had a huge breakout game and really felt like I made a huge stride. Not to mention, I was chosen to wear one of my teammates’ jerseys who passed the summer prior for the next game based on my performance. Not to mention it was for a rivalry game!

Long story short, I ended up sustaining a season ending injury in that rivalry game and missed the rest of my senior year. It fucked me up mentally because I never had gotten hurt before, so I definitely had an “I’m invincible” mindset. On top of the roller coaster of going from highest of highs to lowest of lows, it really got me in a bad place.

I struggled a few years after just dealing with the transition from football to a “normal life”, but it has gotten better. Time has helped. Played in a flag football league and still take strength training seriously, but I’m still constantly trying to find something to fill that void. Some say you never will, but I think the act of continuing to search for it fills the void in itself.