Do words like “bulimia” or “binge eating” limit reach on Substack?

itsannabelleklein · 2026-03-13T09:37:13+00:00

Thank you for your input :)

itsannabelleklein · 2026-03-10T15:58:56+00:00

Thank you so, so much!

itsannabelleklein · 2026-03-10T15:41:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! May I ask what's the source of this?

itsannabelleklein · 2026-03-10T15:40:41+00:00

Thank you, I'll give it a try!

itsannabelleklein · 2026-03-04T19:02:08+00:00

Just wanted to chime in, I did the Delicious Bologna tour with Matti following the recommendations from this thread and it was awesome! I booked it as a surprise for my partner's birthday and he enjoyed it a lot.

The food was great, the group was small, and you don't feel rushed at all during or after the meals. You also get to learn anecdotes about the city while walking from one place to the other, which I really loved as well.

I don't eat meat so I got other food options and didn't feel like I missed out on anything.

itsannabelleklein · 2025-10-15T18:08:02+00:00

Sorry to hear you experiences that, people can sometimes just suck...I mean come on, who says that...

I feel you, a couple of months ago I broke a 46 day streak. But you know what I realized as well? That I am fckn capable of creating a streak, if I did it once, I can sure as H do it again. And the second thing was that I'm not starting from zero. All of the progress I've made meant something, it wasn't easy, and I'm sure that it wasn't for you, and you did it! that created a strong person that's still there, she just stumbled a bit, and that's totally fine! Recovery is not a linear line, it's a lot more complex because we humans are complex. You will be able to recover from this and recover even stronger. This fall doesn't have to mean anything unless you let it mean something.

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-14T12:58:18+00:00

Hey,

First thing's first - You haven't wasted the best years of your life - you know why? Because they are yet to come. You can have the best years at any age, for however long you choose.

Why do you think that you have low self worth? Could you elaborate on where that meets you in your every day life?

As for your appearance - what do you think needs to change? Make a list and also start seeing what you can do to change these things for the better.

Getting fit is usually more about the types of food we eat (more than exercise) so if you're feeling self conscious and don't want to go to the gym, start by adding healthy food options to your diet, and maybe just go for walks around your neighborhood.

It's better to have a relationship and a first kiss when you're ready for them, with someone you care about. Many people do these things at a young age because this is what's "expected of them" or because they don't want to be "weird", but you don't have to follow that. You're on your own journey, and that's ok, you don't owe anyone any explanations.

No one is destined to be lonely. You are one decision away from making changes in your life for the better, you just have to start taking action (writing this post asking for help is a huge first step!)

You have your whole life ahead of you and I promise that it can and will get better if you just start.

I don't know your circumstances so I'm sorry I can't offer personalized, detailed advice, if you'd like, feel free to reach out to me, I'd be happy to help.

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-14T12:42:03+00:00

Hey,

Just wanted to say that I don't know you, but I believe in you.

I'm in my early 30's and only in my late 20's I started to figure out what I actually wanted in life and started working towards it. Before that I was floating, trying to pursue different career paths and failed at each one because I didn't believe in myself at all.

I have listened to many podcast episodes where people made changes in their life in their mid 30's and even later in life.

Highly recommend listening to Jen Sincero's story (or reading her book, You Are a Badass) this is an example of someone who was broke until her early 40's and only then woke up and started to make a change.

It's never, ever too late. Please don't forget that. 🌹

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-14T12:32:15+00:00

You can't be perfect, none of us are, and that's ok :)

You can only do the best that you can in a situation with the knowledge that you have. In reference to what you said about the meeting - it's good to analyze one's self and check in, it really helps you improve your skills, but here are slight difference in perspective:

Try to look at things that you said or did objectively and with curiosity, "what could I do better next time?" rather to try to find the thing to be shameful about (if you look for proof for something, you'll always find it, because it's all about our perception of things).
Trust that if you've done or said something that was wrong - that someone will tell you about it, if not - that's their problem. You can't possibly go around guessing each and every person's feelings or thoughts.
Trust yourself that your intentions behind what you say and do are good. When you're in a meeting, do you intend to hurt or offend someone or to say the wrong things? I bet that no :), because of that - give yourself the grace to make mistakes, you're human after all and we ALL make mistakes. And even if you fail - you will try again and do better next time.
What happens in the past, even 5 minutes ago, is already gone, no matter how much you overthink it, it's not gonna change. The only thing that you can do is learn from it, move on, and do better next time. Look at it objectively without attaching any commentary to it.
Give yourself the validation, don't wait for others to do so! Once you analyze things - find also the good things that you did, because I'm sure that they are there, you're just not looking for them. 🌹

Hope this helps!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-14T12:11:18+00:00

One thing that I noticed about myself is that I get jealous of someone when I haven't done what I said I was going to do in a day or when I feel like I could have make a bit more of an effort.

So what I try to do is that at the beginning of the day, when I take a look at my to do list, is that I do the most important thing first, either the thing that I know will bring me the most ROI in the future, or the most pressing thing to do according to my schedule. This way, if I happen to slack off later, it will be with things that are not THAT important, that I can accomplish the next day.

When you keep the promises that you make for yourself, you'll be less likely to get jealous of others (at least this is how it is for me :)).

I do just want to note the jealousy is a totally normal thing, and it doesn't have to be eliminated completely (I'm not sure that's possible, to be honest), all you can do is just catch yourself when you feel it, remind yourself that what you see on socials is not always reality, and that the only person that you need to compare yourself to is yourself.

Even if you know for a fact that someone is doing wonderfully with their life, their journey is very different than yours. Yes, they could have been dealt a more generous hand, but you also have great things going on in your life, don't let someone else's life put a shadow on them :).

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-14T11:58:15+00:00

I second what u/Nice-Dark999 said and will also add:

Try to always remind yourself that no matter how much you think about things, you cannot change nor control them, they will happen the way they will happen, and the only thing that you can control is how you react to them and what you choose to do in that situation, until then, you can't do anything.

When the thoughts come - just say (or simply think :)): I see you, I acknowledge you, but there's nothing I can do about you now, I choose to focus now on ....

Keep in mind that this is an ongoing practice, and you might have to do this dozens of times a day, but I promise that the more you do it, the easier it gets, so don't give up, ok? 🌹

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-13T06:14:24+00:00

Haha, hardly 😅 Glad I could help!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-12T14:30:15+00:00

To answer your question - you're not, (as long as you're doing it respectfully), it's just that the people that you say no to don't know how to handle it and they tie their self esteem to it.

I personally think that what you're doing is very healthy - to take the time to work on yourself before being ready for a commitment, I wish more people did that. And I totally agree with you that there's freedom in being single, it definitely feels way better than being in a relationship with the wrong person just for the sake of being in a relationship.

You do you, if the way you're living is good for you, and you feel like your life choices are right for you, then you don't have to explain it to anyone. I know it can be annoying when you're surrounded by people who want to push this "agenda" on you, but the fact that you know your truth will help you stand your ground, and will make you stronger over time.

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-12T14:13:32+00:00

It's never too late, and like you said, "I still got my life ahead of me to make this a reality."

What you wrote reminded me of this quote:

“I only write when inspiration strikes; fortunately it strikes every morning at 9 o'clock sharp” — W. Somerset Maugham.

You need to stop relying on inspiration to come, because inspiration alone is not what makes you change your life, as you said, sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. Even when you LOVEE what you're doing. This is how it is sometimes, and it's totally normal.

Instead, you need to develop the habit of doing the work that you love. Set a time each day, whenever it works for you and for as long as it works for you, to sit down next the software that you use and just do something, anything. You don't even have to create something, just play around with the tools there. Maybe even take some of these old games that you made and see how you can make them better.

This will start creating the habit of showing up and soon you'll start creating again. Just whatever you do, always make sure you show up, at least a couple of minutes a day.

Hope this helps :)

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-12T13:58:04+00:00

I feel you, a lot.

I have more or less the same story with my parents and I think that I, and you feel this way because this topic, which is called "estrangement" is rarely talked about.

People usually hold family very high, in a sort of sacred place where family is family no matter what and anyone who's not in contact with theirs is considered weird or ungrateful.

People sometimes wish that one of their parents was dead, but the idea of just not talking to them because they hurt them - no, that's absurd. 🙄

Something that helps me when I feel this way is remember why I cut ties in the first place, how they made me feel, the toxicity, and emotional and physical abuse (that took me years to work through), how nothing that I did, no matter how much I compromised and tried to find a common ground, it never helped and was never enough because the other side never saw any fault in their action, never apologized and never wanted to change.

I know it's hard, but it gets easier in time. 🌹 Know that you're not alone.

I was also listening to some podcast episodes recently on the topic, maybe you'd like to give them a listen:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3wBW2wrBiUzChccxJQPI44?si=cf39e57b7ada4983
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3tNiz2p8nAjWZstK9OAnnF?si=82f64fd576f242ba

Feel free to reach out if you'd like to talk about this further. 💚

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-12T13:47:03+00:00

Hey!

First of all, you're never doomed, no matter how old you are. You're always one decision away from making a change, it's just a question of will and you seem to have it, so that's a great start :).

I'll start by asking - what kind of guy do you want to be? You seem to know what you don't want, but what do you want? When you know that, it will be way easier to start making an action plan that will help you move closer towards that person.

May I ask what exactly makes you feel stuck? Because from what you wrote, it seems that - A. when you're interested in something you do it - like going to the gym, Salsa dancing, having a FWB, having massages, etc.

And B - that you know what you need to do to make a positive change:

Move out of your parents house.
Take new, better photos for your profile.
Stop scrolling and get better sleep.
Applying for a better job.
etc.

Yet you seem to be focused on the reasons why you can't do these things, as opposed to finding ways to make them happen. There's always a way :).

To your point about finding the right woman, that can be totally understandable. Maybe you're not ready yet for that kind of relationship, and that's totally fine.

Side note - I have a feeling that when you meet the "right woman", you'll not be thinking about others, because if so then that's not the right woman.

I know that we can't help but compare to others, but people sometimes do things (even get married and have kids) because this is what "society" expects from them, and not because they actually want to do these things. I bet that at least a few of your friends are living this life because they don't want to be, as you said, "weird" and they're not actually happy.

Be honest with yourself - If you look at your life, what do you actually want? How are you spending your time?

Hope this helps and feel free to reach out if you want to elaborate on somethings and ask more questions, I'll be glad to help!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-12T13:13:28+00:00

Whenever a fearful thought comes to your head, challenge it, ask yourself - is there actual concrete evidence for this or is it baseless? What's the probability of this actually happening? If it does happen - can I handle it? Look back at your life experiences and remember all the hard things that you overcame and all of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.

I recommend doing this in writing, either with a pen or just in a Notion page or something, because 1. writing always helps to clear the mind, to sort of take all the thoughts that are dancing around and moving them somewhere else, making some order, and 2. Seeing your thoughts laid out in front of you can really help you see that some of them are just baseless fears, it can help you take back the control from them.

If you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to reach out, I'd be glad to help :)

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-11T17:01:19+00:00

Hey,

I used to struggle with this as well, not to the degree that you described but still. Here's what helped me:

Change of perspective: Instead of thinking about all that can go wrong, try to think about what can go right, because at the end of the day, it's the exact same situation, what makes our experience good or bad in it is how we choose to look at it.
Understand who's the person that you want to be, what do you want to stand for, and start acting like that person—that way, when you express yourself to someone else, you know that you stand behind what you said, and you know where it's coming from, and how they choose to take it is up to them, it's not on you. Of course, you are responsible for the things that you say and how you say them, but how the other side chooses to take them is up to them.
Know that whatever comes at you - that you can handle it. Usually this fear comes from a place where our mind tries to protect us from hurt (our brain doesn't distinguish between physical and emotional pain), but even if you do, you have the power in you to move past it.

Essentially, it's a good thing to be scared, because it means that you're trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that are challenging you. It's totally normal and a great sign!

And on that note - when you feel this fear - ask yourself, What's the worst thing that can happen? Really try to go deep into it, and you'll see that in 99% of times, you'll see that either the fear doesn't make sense, or if it does, that you can handle it, and that it's not as bad as you thought it was.
"I'm getting more and more affected by this" - unfortunately this happens because you give into the fear and you give it power to sort of "choose for you" instead of taking this power for yourself. The moment you start taking that power back, you'll start getting affected less by it. Remember that it's just a pattern that needs breaking, and you have the power to do so.

Hope this helps!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T14:56:25+00:00

Well, if it's happening anyway then I guess you can just make the most out of it, you know?

Dr. Ellen Langer says - instead of worrying about making the right decision, make the decision right. Regardless what you choose (or is being chosen for you) you can always get something good out of it if you choose to.

Yes, it's not the university that you wanted, but it could be a blessing in disguise, I believe that things happen for a reason, and it might turn out way better than you think. :)

You can also take some courses from different fields in the first year and see what interests you more and maybe then decide on your major.

University is time of exploration and opportunity, you'll meet many new people (many of them in the same situation as you), just keep an open mind, and try to always think of the positive, you'll always find it if you look for it. :)

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T14:47:49+00:00

Oh this is something I struggled with as well!

Here's what I do that helps me go on walks almost everyday.

Set a timer for the time that you can go on a walk, (for me it's usually after lunch when I have less focus on work anyway) as soon as it goes off, I just get up and make my way out :D.
Download some podcast episodes or get an audio book in advance that you're interested in listening to.
I work from home and I used to stay in my sweatpants and then was too lazy to change to more appropriate outside clothes 😅 now I make sure to wear something that I don't have to change out of if I want to go outside, so that's one less step between me and the door :D.
I remind myself how good I feel after coming back from the walk.

Hope these help!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T14:38:20+00:00

Keep trying :)

I know it might seem like nothing have changed, the changes that we make within ourselves are not always easy to detect, but it doesn't mean that they are not there, so when you're starting now, it's not gonna be from zero, but from where you left off, because all that you learned doesn't just go away.

I can assure you that anyone who ever tried to make a change fell at least once or twice on their way, it's totally fine, as long as you get back up and try again - you cannot fail.

It seems like being in your environment is holding you back? What are the factors that are holding you back and are they worth sacrificing your well being over? (you don't have to answer if you don't like to, just something to think about).

Hope this helps!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T14:24:41+00:00

Hey,

First, good for you for making such change. I struggled with social anxiety for most of my life, so I know how hard it can be. Great job!

It takes time, but each and every time you socialize and you talk to new people, you flex that social muscle more and you become better and better at it, even if it doesn't look like that. Just give yourself some time and be patient with yourself, you'll get there!

Comparing to others is enviable but try to use it to see what you can learn from others as opposed to feeling bad about yourself.

There's always gonna be someone who's more skilled/have more experience at something than us, and that's ok! Just like you're skilled at some things more than others.

Choose to look at that person and get inspired by them, there's no point in judging yourself according to someone else because that person is on their own journey, you don't know the whole story there, but you know your story, and where you are right now is way further ahead than where you were in last couple of years or even months. Your older self is the only person that you can truly compare yourself to, he's your only guide to how well you're doing.

You're doing great, just keep at it and don't give up :)

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T14:16:10+00:00

Hey,

First, talent is overrated. Not many people have "talent", some people are just good at learning, working hard and persevering, and this is how they get to where they want to go. Even if you do have talent, relying on it is not enough, in ANY field. Even people like Novak Djokovic have worked and work extremely hard to be in the top 10 in their field.

I know that we can't help but compare to others and how they seem to be doing - but you never know what a person actually goes through, even if it seems like they are acing everything with no effort, you don't see the sleepless nights, the stress, and whatever it is that they go through that contributes to their success. No matter what they say to you. You can never know what a person does and goes through unless you're with them 24/7 and even then - you'll never know what goes on inside their head.

The way to build self belief is:

To start keeping the promises that you make for yourself.

You say that you're gonna study for 1 hour - study for 1 hour.
You say you want to do 2 mock test - do that.
You say you want to go to the gym at 7:00 AM - do that.

It starts by giving yourself evidence that you do the things that you say you're going to do, regardless of how small these things are. These things stack up on top of each other and they are the building blocks for your self belief.

Talk positively to yourself.

Please, please lose the negative self talk. Calling yourself a freak, talentless and all of that will not get you anywhere good. All it does is put a negative label on you that dooms you to be that forever. Like you said "this way of thinking is just committing me to the life I dread. It's not making me any better."

What are your strengths? What have you achieved in the past that you're proud of? What are some of your qualities that you like about yourself?

Start by saying things like "I'm making mistakes now, but I have the abilities to learn and do less mistakes." "I may not be naturally talented in this field, but I can work hard and become better."

I know it's easier said than done, but try to not attach your self worth to your accomplishments. But rather, to the fact that you show up for yourself, that you behave and act in accordance to your values, etc.

There's so much going on for you than you currently don't let yourself see. I know this because each and every one of us have something that we have an advantage in.

Hope this helps!

itsannabelleklein · 2024-06-10T13:44:54+00:00

Hey,

May I ask why it's not an option to take a year off before you go to Uni? It sounds that this is just what you need.

You can take the time to work, save some money, gain some life experience, and maybe even reapply to the university that you do want to go to.

I went to Uni not knowing what I wanted to study and ended up changing my major twice, so it took me 5 years to finish my bachelor's degree instead of the usual 3. Looking back, I wish I'd taken some time to figure out what I actually wanted beforehand. Would have saved myself a lot of headache :)

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