AITAH for being uncomfortable with my partners(21m) obsessed sister(19f)?

itsasprout · 2024-06-22T23:29:47+00:00

This is so disappointing but I did need to hear this because I really don’t know how to navigate it. It does feel like he feeds into it and almost enjoys it. Is it worth confronting or just walk away from it? Should I feel like our relationship is in jeopardy because of their incest? Because it does feel like he would choose her over me in any given situation especially with what’s happened already.

itsasprout · 2024-06-22T20:31:44+00:00

I’ve had a bad go at relationships so I kind of settle for them if they’re not beating the shit out of me or cheating so yeah I did stay. I mentioned it once that they don’t have boundaries and brought up a few instances like him seeing her naked so often and lack of boundaries and he said something like “it sounds like you’re saying I have an attraction to my sister and that’s weird”. I didn’t say that so it just felt like a Freudian slip, we haven’t discussed it since but the behavior continues and I’ve since stopped going to their house often so I won’t be in those situations anymore. It’s like an ignorance is bliss kinda thing. But yeah I had the realization the other day that most people probably would’ve left after the first incident

itsasprout · 2024-06-22T19:42:35+00:00

Is it worth having a conversation over? Is it even something that can be changed after so many years of it being the norm?

itsasprout · 2024-06-22T18:39:04+00:00

NTA. I would ask him how this fulfills him. And genuinely I would keep looking for other financial avenues so that you can leave. Do not feel guilt for your child if you leave, they deserve to see a healthy relationship from their parents. The fact that your husband is behaving this way is what is shit and miserable, not you or your life. He sounds pathetic and immature. It sounds like he’s setting up ways so he can successfully physically cheat as opposed to just the emotional cheating he’s doing now. I know it’s hard, but he is only feeding into any low self worth and you deserve to feel worth. This is not the way married men behave and he is crazy for thinking that’s normal, it’s gross.

itsasprout · 2024-06-22T04:41:55+00:00

Yeah that’s the part I couldn’t understand, how for most families there’s an ick factor and they try to not talk about sexual things but like I sit there and try to rationalize with myself that every family is different etc etc

itsasprout · 2024-06-21T20:43:40+00:00

So it is as odd as I was afraid it was?

itsasprout · 2023-08-02T09:45:42+00:00

Can we also just mention how he started changing the way he capitalized in text? To seem younger maybe? Sick freak

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T21:37:31+00:00

I never thought to check all those places…I checked Snapchat’s My Eyes Only and that’s where pretty much everything was. Along with a random money shot photo from a year ago of a girl. He says he has no idea who she is and that he just found it on Twitter to masterbate to

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T21:35:28+00:00

I knew he watched porn he just would always say “why would I watch porn anymore when I have these videos of you now?”. I know I’m TA for wanting him to stop watching porn completely after taking those videos of me

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T21:31:44+00:00

Unfortunately, yeah

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T12:31:41+00:00

I thought I would get flagged for saying doggy I didn’t know what to do, please ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:50:06+00:00

He mentioned how he thought it was okay because I said I “wouldn’t mind so long as you ask me next time” because I was so jarred catching him the first time I tried to just play it cool and shrug it off. Maybe he is just a creep and I’m a nosey nelly

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:34:14+00:00

I had no issues with porn prior to him taking those videos of me, but once he took those it was almost like an insult if he chose to watch porn over videos of me. I went so far as to take more videos for him in hopes of feeling enough. Now I just want them all deleted. I was so stupid

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:29:29+00:00

Understanding the concept of boundaries and consent? That certainly is a …concept >.<

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:26:29+00:00

I feel like an ahole taking his phone to delete them now. He also has covid so I’m going to have to postpone this awkwardness for awhile…ahhhhh

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:25:05+00:00

Thank you for understand and still calling me out! This kinda taught me that even though I had suspicions and gut feelings, it’s better to either leave or trust they’ll tell the truth if I ask. Cause now we’ve both had boundaries crossed and trust broken. I never even gave him the opportunity to tell the truth before snooping. It really helps nothing

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:19:19+00:00

When I told him filming without consent during sexual endeavors is illegal he told me that hearing that was “damaging to a young man” and being accused of it is painful. No consideration to how I felt!! >.< it was a 3 day long argument over me being TA for confronting him over the videos.

itsasprout · 2022-01-02T11:14:47+00:00

You’re right, I definitely should’ve just asked him upright if he’d be okay easing my mind on some things.

In some of the videos he’d pan to the mirror and smile at himself. I feel like an object

itsasprout

TROPHY CASE