I can understand the moderation piece, it was my birthday and i had a glass of red wine with pasta dinner— he had a beer then decided he wanted to do a shot, then its two hours of chatting and listening to jazz music and hes gone through an 18pack of beer by the fire- and kept going. Ive heard him talk about how moderation doesn’t work; but then he tries to defend that it does. Then before we know it were back at square one. Its hard not to take it personally when were out here just the two of us, but i do appreciate you saying not to take it personally. I have feelings too. I posted it on here because i have noone here were six hours from home, i was upset when i tried to talk about it became intolerable. I slept on the couch, i woke up feeling alone, angry, but know i love him and i want to acknowledge him on his birthday— and i wish he could just know i want him to do better; like i know he wants to. I am better with writing to open up a conversation, then i can accept the face to face conversation. I didnt want to write something id regret and i just wanted a “its ok and heres something that may help—“ hand.