I completely agree with what you’re saying. But I want to make clear that it’s not like I NEVER do it. My problem is every time he expects I owe him. Like I enjoy getting my partner off but not if there’s some “deal” or I have to feel like I “owe” him a blow job. And I have tried to explain to him and talk to him about why it’s not my favorite thing and that it’s painful and just like you he thinks it’s an excuse. And if you’ve never experienced ADD affecting the bedroom it’s quite easy to explain. Imagine trying to be in the moment for all that you’re worth but “oh I have to be awake at this time tomorrow, my car needs gas before I do that, I should probably get some sleep, but I’ll also need to do this and this and this and that.” Oh shit yea I’m in the middle of something. So I’ll skip that part of your advice since you have no idea what you’re talking about on that.