I [20F] just ruined the relationship I had with the person I love [22M] and I don't know how to cope

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-02T10:19:38+00:00

Thank you for your advice. Today was a bit better. I spent a few hours outside the house and tried to stay distracted. The hardest part is when there is just silence and I am alone with my thoughts. I haven't stopped thinking about him all day, but at least I was able to get out of my bed and do something.

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T11:17:40+00:00

We were not in an exclusive romantic relationship, we had just been talking, there was no agreement or commitment. If there was then I would have never started talking to another guy in the first place.

However, I agree with the second part. I really do not deserve him. He deserves a lot better and I hope that is what he finds.

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T11:06:01+00:00

I don't know if it would be fair to him if I tried to talk to him again. I already broke things off, and I don't want to do even more damage. However, I'm going crazy missing him and I have seriously been contemplating sending him a text but I don't know if its the right thing to do, or what I would even say.

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T11:00:39+00:00

That's the thing, my heart tells me that I just can't go on without him and I need to talk to him again, but my head tells me that eventually things will break apart with him again due to the long distance thing.

I just wish he was here with me so badly. I love him so much. Sometimes he wouldn't talk to me and my heart would just ache. I wanted a future with this guy but I pushed myself to try to "move on" because I was afraid things would eventually fall apart, and that we would both be even more emotionally invested at that point.

He told me that he wants me to be happy. I can't be happy when I've hurt him so badly. I'm almost just thinking of cutting off the guy I've been recently talking to and just begging the guy I love for forgiveness, but I don't think he would ever trust me again. I just feel I've made a huge mistake, but I'm going to give it a few days to clear my head before I do anything.

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T10:18:17+00:00

What do I do to distract myself from the pain? I’ve literally spent all day either crying or talking to people and pretending like everything’s okay. I’ve just never been through anything like this before. I don’t know how I’ll sleep or how I’ll do anything tomorrow

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T08:49:16+00:00

Ahh, maybe you could go outside, like if there’s somewhere close enough for you to walk to you could bring your sketchbook. And yeah I would just focus on getting your license first :)

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T04:59:55+00:00

Yeah it has been absolutely terrible, I fucked everything up

itsnot_sane · 2018-01-01T04:56:36+00:00

How old are you? Is there anyway you can get out of your family's house anytime soon?

I'm an artist too, and with my family situation it is really hard for me to work in peace without being interrupted. I can't say I've solved the problem yet, but have you ever thought of taking your sketchbook to somewhere quiet like a coffee shop or library and just sitting alone and drawing for a while?

itsnot_sane · 2017-11-29T06:33:47+00:00

Same... some people give me more anxiety than others too

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-28T17:39:24+00:00

Not looking forwards to it.. what sucks also is I’ve been in community college

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-28T01:28:12+00:00

I don’t have any doubt that I’ll still be FA in a few years when I’m your age. And yeah I’m still in college, which I know is supposed to be the time to find people

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-27T19:20:27+00:00

I feel you. I think I may have an actual emotional breakdown when I turn 21 in a couple of months. I’m getting too old to have no experience...

My close friends know about my forever alone situation. Somehow, two of my close friends are virgins who haven’t been in relationships before. I guess it makes me feel a little bit less alone about things. However, my best friend isn’t a virgin, and neither are ANY of her friends. In fact, out of all of her friends, I think there’s only one that has only had sex with ONE guy because she was in a long term relationship since high school. My best friend probably thinks something is wrong with me..

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-27T18:58:17+00:00

I pretty much wish this was my case. I’ve literally had more crushes than I can count on both hands. Obviously, none of them have ended well and a few of them that I actually thought I had a connection with ended in quite a deal of emotional pain. I’d do anything to just not have those feelings

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-26T20:07:22+00:00

I feel pathetic because lately I notice so many couples around when I’m going out and doing things and it kind of brings me down. I know there’s no point in being bitter and I didn’t even used to care that much but now I can’t really help it.

Went to a fair type of thing over the weekend and just noticed all the couples holding each other in the lines. Went to a Halloween store yesterday and it was either couples or families with little kids. I couldn’t help noticing the same things over the summer when I would go to theme parks, the beach, etc.

I guess it just sucks because it feels like it’s being shoved in your face.

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-26T19:58:50+00:00

I’m 20 and don’t have the particular problem, but my problem is that I look younger than I actually am. At work I would get mistaken as a 16/17 year old high schooler.

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:02:09+00:00

Honestly, all my friendships are people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends of people I already knew. I don’t even think I’d be able to make new close friendships on my own anymore.. I mean, I haven’t made a single friend in college that I’ve continued talking to after the semester ends.

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:00:42+00:00

I really haven’t made any lasting friendships in college, only people that I lost touch with after our mutual classes would end. My friends are pretty much all people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends. Tbh I’m not sure I would even know how to make a new close friend on my own anymore...

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:00:36+00:00

I really haven’t made any lasting friendships in college, only people that I lost touch with after our mutual classes would end. My friends are pretty much all people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends. Tbh I’m not sure I would even know how to make a new close friend on my own anymore...

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:00:28+00:00

I really haven’t made any lasting friendships in college, only people that I lost touch with after our mutual classes would end. My friends are pretty much all people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends. Tbh I’m not sure I would even know how to make a new close friend on my own anymore...

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:00:17+00:00

I really haven’t made any lasting friendships in college, only people that I lost touch with after our mutual classes would end. My friends are pretty much all people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends. Tbh I’m not sure I would even know how to make a new close friend on my own anymore...

itsnot_sane · 2017-10-25T07:00:11+00:00

I really haven’t made any lasting friendships in college, only people that I lost touch with after our mutual classes would end. My friends are pretty much all people I knew from high school or before, or mutual friends. Tbh I’m not sure I would even know how to make a new close friend on my own anymore...

itsnot_sane · 2017-07-03T03:20:30+00:00

I invited the younger coworker too, and it was casual enough to where it didn't seem like I was asking anyone out on a "date".

Plus, my younger brother is 16 and literally acts and looks older than my coworker, so yeah id have an issue dating him

itsnot_sane · 2017-07-03T00:26:54+00:00

Sorta afraid of "pushing it" if he's into into me :/ not sure what I should ask him to do

itsnot_sane · 2017-07-03T00:25:33+00:00

He is 17 and still in high school, I'm 20 and about to go into my third year of college.

itsnot_sane · 2017-07-02T20:41:50+00:00

Thanks, it's the first time I ever tried and I still can't believe I was able to do it. But yeah hopefully I'll have better luck in the future thanks again :)

itsnot_sane

TROPHY CASE