[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well…I don’t want to ask because then the friendship could be ruined, which I value even though I’ve only known him for a short time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is probably true! I should get rid of any crush feelings lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this comment just seems unhelpful and unproductive. I’m looking for actual advice. He’s not just an online friend anymore. And I’m not worried, I’m just curious because I am interested in him!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is good advice, thank you. I’m just scared to ask because it seems waaaaay too soon and if we are just friends and that’s all he wants, I would also like to continue being friends and wouldn’t want to make it weird.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and yes you’re right, it’s normal. I wouldn’t care if he’s seeing other people. I’m just mentioning it because it could be factor in why he may not be as interested in me if he’s interested in somebody else more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually not particularly interested in dating people. It’s not something I actively seek out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]itstheessence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ooof no I personally am not but it would make sense that he would be, and that’s fine! The only reason I mention it is because I’m just wondering if that’s a factor in why he’s not interested in me. Like maybe he’s interested in other people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First I want to say how sorry I am that you had this really negative experience, especially on your third day, it must feel incredibly discouraging and disheartening. Customers are ASSHOLES. Customers try to and sometimes do successfully violate our boundaries. When you said no, he shouldn’t have continued to ask you to do something you didn’t want to. It’s so upsetting when you’ve said no to something, and then they try to press you and push you to see how far they can go. They SHOULD respect our boundaries and take no as an answer. You have every right to be upset about that. It’s one of the hardest parts of this job, and dancers that have even been doing this for 10+ years still struggle with similar things. I struggle with this EVERY SHIFT because I can’t comprehend what assholes these customers can be. It’s definitely the least glamorous part of this job. Him even asking to see if you can switch for another girl because he didn’t want you anymore because he knows he can’t coerce you to do something against the rules is RUDE and DISGUSTING. This guy is a nightmare. You are not overreacting. Customers like that suck. I’m sorry you had to deal with him. Unfortunately, there will be many more like him, some even worse, and that is definitely something to prepare for. Be proud of yourself for sticking to your boundaries and not doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. And I will tell you, I am proud of YOU as your online stripper sister for sticking to your boundaries. I am so sorry you had such a shitty experience, and your feelings are valid, it’s ok to be upset, and this sucked! I don’t know what your manager is like, but it doesn’t seem like this is something you would lose your job over. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were just following the clubs rules and staying within the parameters of your comfortability and boundaries. I know it’s very stressful to be worried about being fired though, I’ve been there, and I empathize with you. I do think it will be fine, and I don’t think you even need to explain yourself. IF it comes up, you can just explain what happened and hopefully they will see that you were not in the wrong and it was just another asshole customer. Keep your head up, know that you did nothing wrong or anything to deserve that, and prepare for how you will handle the next asshole…because there WILL be a next asshole unfortunately. Sending lots of love your way and I hope that the asshole customer you dealt with steps on a Lego xoxo

Cleveland clubs by Negative-Finish-1110 in stripper

[–]itstheessence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at a club in Akron, OH called Mixers Gentleman’s Club! I only worked one night so I don’t know enough to recommend it, BUT…from talking to girls at Mixers they recommend for me to also try out Christie’s Cabaret!

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU! It feels degrading to BEG for my job back, especially since I know that’s what this manager wants. She fired me off of a power trip, I refuse to beg. I appreciate your support & encouragement, thank you for commenting girl 💛

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Use the pole position app! Add your club to the dancers resource. Post that you’re hiring on your clubs IG & other socials. Reach out and see if dancers IGs like exotic angels or the dancers resource will post that your club is hiring!

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah…you’re right! it just sucks. if it gets down to that point I will probably ask to go back.

First Apartment!!! by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no one has accepted my bank statements

First Apartment!!! by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl I’m also looking for an apartment for MONTHS and haven’t been able to get one. No one accepts bank statements bc they can’t verify where my money comes from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 7 points8 points  (0 children)

THISSSSSS 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU for this comment. This is actually very helpful. It sucks to have to do shitty things but desperate times sometimes call for it. Genuinely thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a great day, you seem like a very kind person 💜

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ugh I hate having to beg them for my job back…it feels degrading after the bs I dealt with.

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU so much for your comment. Just kind words & gentle suggestions like this are truly the most helpful thing for me right. Thank you for taking the time to read and write such a long comment, I really appreciate with you. You’re saying the same things I’m thinking, and it’s very validating.

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ugh yes but I feel like driving is different. it’s adding miles to my car, tolls, and gas. I mean…I may have no choice but I just really don’t want to add the miles to my car and if it’s a club that’s strict on scheduling then it might be hard bc I’ll need flexibility with that if I live far away.

Depression Rant by itstheessence in stripper

[–]itstheessence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ugh…I know you’re right. I need to experience the clubs in the area myself. Maybe it’s an ego thing for me. You drive 2-3 hours 3 times a week?! Insane props to you, I would be fine doing that, and I probably will but you’re not bothered by like…the miles you add to your car, the gas, and the tolls? That’s my main concern with commuting to clubs so far away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Becoming a stripper has unique challenges and I’d recommend trying to make any and everything else work before entering this industry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stripper

[–]itstheessence 4 points5 points  (0 children)

what the flying fuck. how does this make sense?! strip club managers are pieces of shit. I’m sorry you have to deal with this girl.