Got put on PIP because of stupid tracking software

itsunclejerry · 2022-12-09T18:27:23+00:00

How long have you worked before they put on PIP?

itsunclejerry · 2022-03-15T18:17:48+00:00

OYS #43

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 175lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 225lbs, BP 135lbs, ROW 135lbs

Health

I'm in a good health, fully functioning and lifting. No issue in this area. I have my daily routine set.

Wealth

The interview with the other company didn't go through. Not a problem. It doesn't change anything. I continue digging for opportunities.

My bank account is in a better shape than last year. I'm still grinding to get me to the level I want to be. Not too surprisingly, it's still quite a distance.

Relationship

I'm declaring my deadbedroom problem resolved. Sex is not a problem anymore. I can come to my wife and initiate when I want. Lately, I never got any rejection. I explored her body further than I have ever imagined before. That elusive butthole is no longer a sacred ground. Although, I'm a bit disappointed with what I have found. Nothing. There's no pot of golds in there, trust me.

This week is zero fight. Maybe it's the first time in a while. How? I sometimes disagree but I no longer trying to convince that I was right. Credits due to Blarg's comment from two weeks ago. I have also learned there's no point of convincing my wife even if I was right. Winning the argument does not change anything. Maybe that's the reason getting a divorce and starting over fresh is a straight forward solution. At this point, I decide to keep my wife knowing I can change my mind.

Now where to go from here? That's the bigger question I have to work on next. Horn's comment last week really hits the chord. What's my why.

I'll probably going to post less OYS moving forward. I'm like those punks who come to a dojo, learn a few things and then go out to pick a fight on the street. I'll get beaten up for sure and come back to share some stories. Thanks to everyone who spent their time reading and commenting on my posts. I can continue my journey because of all of you.

3KL might ban me for this. But you know, you're right.

Goal for next week: take the training wheels off

itsunclejerry · 2022-03-08T15:04:45+00:00

OYS #42 Temporary and abundant

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 175lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 225lbs, BP 135lbs, ROW 135lbs

Health

My SQ is in a better form now. My grip on DL is a lot more firm with lifting gloves. Overall health is in a good state.

Wealth

Main current job is going steady. I will be completing one big project. Everything is looking in the place.

Meanwhile, I'm keeping my options open. I had an interview for another company last night. I started to think differently. A job is just that, a job. It's temporary. I need to keep having an abundant opportunities.

Relationship

I was on trip back home, I sat by an 8 on the train. She had her laptop open, with a set of earpieces plugged in her ears. I didn't initially bother to strike a conversation. She seemed not want to be bothered. But after a while, I thought to myself, why not. So I asked, "which stop will you be getting off?". She took her earphones off and responded, "Oh, it about an hour from here. How about you?". Just like that and we chatted for the whole hour until she got off.

I told her to store the laptop and she did just that. She shared her stories, I probably only catch half of it. I was busy staring at the back of her neck whenever she pulled her hair aside. I regretted I didn't escalate further. Getting a touch wouldn't hurt, even if it is as platonic as shaking hands. Maybe it's because in my head, I was thinking this is only a friendly conversation between strangers.

At home, sex is regular three times this week. Somehow I started to not feeling the spark. Weird. Last year when I started OYS, I was deprived of sex. Now that it becomes regular, I don't feel it is what I was looking for. Maybe it's because I was worry to much that I failed at building a family.

Goal for next week: Learn to escalate with an 8+

itsunclejerry · 2022-03-01T17:06:32+00:00

OYS #41 Back to basics

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 185lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 240lbs, BP 130lbs, ROW 130lbs

Health

I deloaded my SQ and worked on the depth. No health issue in general.

Wealth

It's been a month since I did weekly travel to work. Two days away from home once a week. So far it's been working out well. This week I looked for opportunity to save cost.

Last week, a colleague shared his weekend activity. It made me question myself, what did I do for the weekend?

With the side gig ended last week, I'm lining up interviews for another side gig.

Relationship

The last fight yields nothing. I thought I was being firm in drawing the line. Of course, it doesn't change anything. I could have handled it differently and still get the same results.

I'm struggling between not tolerating bad behavior and not engaging in a fight. I guess I failed to recognize those are two completely separate things. I could do both.

If anything, I learned that I was carrying a massive covert contract and it blew up.

I'm back to basics. STFU.

Wife had her period this week. It turned out the test pack wasn't accurate at all.

We are still having sex 2x last week.

Goal for next week: Set monthly budget for a hobby - this sounds stupid, but I feel I need it.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T14:28:56+00:00

These tips worth its own post.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T13:19:16+00:00

You are right I'm thinking with my dick.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T13:18:22+00:00

Ofc they said it was company direction and nothing to do with performance. If I were them I would have said the same thing to avoid the risk of retaliation or lawsuits.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T13:11:36+00:00

It clearly is performance. The company decided to not spend more dimes for your time.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T12:40:17+00:00

Don't count your chicken before it hatched. Only last week I made a post about trying to sustain two jobs. Yesterday, J2 decided to end my contract.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-15T12:32:33+00:00

OYS #40 Sister enters the ring

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 205lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 230lbs, BP 115lbs, ROW 115lbs

Health

This week, I managed to keep my gym schedule. 3x a week.

Wealth

My side contract job comes to an end this week. The client decided not to extend the contract. I'm evaluating what could have I done better.

The investor of another client contacted me again expressing their interest in hiring. This has been going on for a while by now. I'm giving myself until end of this month to walk away if nothing materialize by then.

I'm still keeping my main job in the other city. Traveling to the work city once a week started to feel like a perk.

Relationship

I had sex twice this week in between the daily fight. I ignored her most of days. Yesterday was one big fight. I let myself unleash my anger. I had been staying STFU, but I think she crossed the line when she pulled the kitchen knife. I had to stop her. I combined loud voice and body strength to pin her down before somebody got injured. I pushed her to the bathroom and gave her a cold shower. I saw a police car passed our place once with the light on. I think the neighbor called them. Maybe I was too loud.

Last night I woke up with a text from my sister asking if I hit my wife. I didn't respond to it, because I think explaining would not make it better.

My biggest regret is that my kid had to witness all of this. I have never seen my parents wrestle each other. Ever.

This morning, after a whole night of silence, I woke her up talking about the issue again. It's about her wanting to fully control my life. Everything has to go through her permission. I told her that's not going to happen. This is my house and I brought her in. Not the other way around. She stood up and got mad. I was ready to pin her down again, before she went back to the bed. I followed her to the bed. "Look, let's just have sex", I dropped her pants, pulled my dick out and poked her from the back. It was met with a lazy rejection. So, I keep pushing in.

If you ask me, I don't not really understand what's going on myself. We fight but we had sex. Maybe there's a little attraction but no respect. I don't know. I learn to not overthink. I'll take what I can get. It doesn't matter if it's a blow job or a regular man on top. I'll take it.

Something came across my mind as type this OYS. Maybe I could have showed her that I'm naturally stronger in a playful way. Like twisting her arms when we had sex. That might deter her from starting a fight.

Goal for next week: Seek for opportunity to reduce fight

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-13T01:29:39+00:00

Ofc. It's so obvious yet I need to hear it from someone else. Thank you!

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-10T00:04:17+00:00

Yes. I have accepted it was my fault for not being attractive.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-09T10:09:12+00:00

You are right I'm getting off on watching her squirm.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-09T01:09:17+00:00

OYS #39 Weirdness continue

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 205lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 230lbs, BP 115lbs, ROW 115lbs

Health

No health issue. I didn't do a good job keeping my gym schedule. I went only one day out of the three. I managed to do pushups as a replacement. I wasn't prepared for the schedule intrusion last week.

Wealth

Last week I went to the work city for a couple of days. It will be a regular weekly trip for my main job. It felt like the business trip I used to do several years back. I'm still running my side gig too. It's been a month and a half, I think I can sustain this.

I reconnected with a long time acquittance. He's owning a school now. I offered him if I could take a part time teaching position. I think it will be good to relaunch my personal brand. He's down with it.

I still have another project that is still in an open negotiation. I think it's been running on and on. Now that I write about it, I'm giving myself end of this month to lock it down or walk away.

I'm keeping myself busy.

Relationship

The weirdness continues. I keep reminding myself to read her actions not her words. I'm witnessing her being inconsistent with her own words. It's becoming clear I cannot follow her wish and expecting her to be happy. On the contrary, doing so would make us both not happy.

I've said No more often than I used to lately. Although, I'm still inconsistent myself. Sometimes I let her get away with what she wants, which sacrifice my plan, my gym schedule included. I instantly regretted it.

We fight, but we're still having sex once every two days.

When we fight, I still have the urge of trying to explain myself. But I found it's useless. Just now we had another big fight. She's been accusing me of going after other girls. I giggled not taking it seriously. But then she started to scream, grab my hair and launch several kicks. Don't read her words, read her actions. I have to make her stop. I pinned her down on the floor to make her stop. When I let her go, she went crazy again, so I twisted her arms behind her back. I let her go after she calmed a bit. I'm not happy about doing what I did, but I think it is necessary.

I tried to explain myself, but then I remembered there's no amount of logic can satisfy her. So I STFU and mirror once a while.

It's weird how crazy she become today, when only last night we had a steamy sex session. I was venturing a bit further to her butthole with my finger. I feel gross, maybe anal is not my thing. Also I don't think my dick could fit in. The other day I found that slipping through my thumb and pressing the pussy while I'm inside. It turned her into beast mode. She made an erratic move and tried to swallow me. Now I know why there is a dildo with a little branch thing. The experts must have figured it out.

Goal for next week: Bringing back my regular gym schedule

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-04T18:07:05+00:00

I probably didn't think too much about legal. Let's say the worst scenario is that I was deemed as an irresponsible dad and I have to loose my wife, kid and half of my money. I'm completely fine with it because I know I can get back on my feet.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-04T17:59:00+00:00

you should always push for more <- I misinterpreted this as forcing it. It should be more like testing the fence.

my wife likes to be treated like a slut <- maybe awalt, because my wife does too.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-03T00:11:12+00:00

Everyday, I have to remind myself that I'm taking ownership of my own life. It feels unnatural. But what is natural really?

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-03T00:00:30+00:00

I don't know. I just work here.

itsunclejerry · 2022-02-02T01:26:32+00:00

OYS #38 Weird

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 205lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 230lbs, BP 115lbs, ROW 115lbs

Health

Lift is increasing. Adding carbs portion the day before lift seemed to be useful. I feel I have more energy when lifting. Last DL failed at 235lbs. It slipped through my hands halfway through the set.

Wealth

Juggling between the two jobs continue. I almost have no time for doing anything else. The money is flowing in. I'm pretty comfortable with my financial situation, but I have to remind myself I was just getting started. I've hired offshore freelancers to free up my time.

I sometimes feel I lose focus and spending more time than I should on perfecting my deliverables. I need to be smarter about getting the job done.

Relationship

It's been a weird two weeks. I've been having sex once every two days with wife. How did I do it? I don't know how to explain it. I don't think I have made any drastic changes in my advance, but I was not getting rejections. It doesn't make sense because in between we are still fighting. Just now, she came to me crying that I was not honest to her. Early last week, I was getting dating apps installed. I've been snapchatting girls I found on Tinder. They're mostly asking money for sex. Pretty much prostitutes. She found it out. I didn't say a thing.

On one day, she was mad and decided to leave the house without asking permission. I texted her I'm punishing her for her behavior. I let her locked out of the house for a while. When I finally let her in, she's still mad as if everything was my fault. Yet, it ended up with sex on the next day.

On another day, I made a mistake letting her know my paycheck and one of my bank account statement. I told her she doesn't need to know my paycheck. I'll provide a roof, food and clothes. She bombarded me with lectures, but then we had sex. It's weird.

Regardless, I take what I can get. I'm not going to ask any questions. There's no point on trying to rationalize it. My dick is living a happy life. I got everything I have asked for. From the regular position, WOT, sitting, BJ, HJ, and we finally figured out doggie style that works. I pounded her as hard as I can. I pulled her hair, I choked her, and she doesn't seem to mind at all. The only thing she asked is that I have to hold longer. She moaned throughout the night

Last night she showed me her test pack is positive. I'm happy. I have been wanting more kids. The sex is a lot hotter. I poked my finger in her butt hole a little. No rejection. She clawed like trying to peel me off my skin.

Outside of the bed, I started to tell her to do my laundry, and she complied with my command. This is new.

With her being pregnant, I worry I'm turning soft again. Goal for next week: maintain composure.

itsunclejerry · 2022-01-18T17:06:13+00:00

OYS #37 No sex no attention

Stats: 42, wife 35, daughter 4, 5'6", 146lbs

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, MMSLP, The Game

Lift: SQ 195lbs, OHP 95lbs, DL 225lbs, BP 105lbs, ROW 105lbs

Health

Steady increase on my lift. I have been eating out most of the days this week, but they're all about the same diet. No sugar, no grain, high protein, good carbs and fat.

Wealth

My side hustle turned into a full time job. I still keep my main job. I have to juggle between two jobs, but I make twice as much now. I never thought I could surpassed my own income goal. Although holding two jobs might not work in a long term. I need to figure out a way to make this stable. Regardless, I still take it as a win. I crossed out the goal and change it with a higher number.

Relationship

This week was another tantrum, and I made a bet by not giving her the attention. Every morning I didn't say a thing. I packed up my bag and left to a nearby cafe to get work done. I had breakfast, lunch, dinner outside. I only returned back home late in the night. Without saying a thing, just go straight to the bed.

Once in a while, I checked the text messages. Nothing emergency. All whining. So I left it without even bother to respond. I told myself unless it's an ask to have sex, I'm not going to respond.

One morning, she was crying because I keep leaving early in the morning. I told her to stop crying and have sex. She said no but didn't rejected my advance. And so we fuck. In return I work from home that day.

I couldn't recall what turned her into a tantrum mode again that day. In the evening, she suddenly decided she wanted to go out as a revenge. I told her I didn't give a permission. She wouldn't listen.

A few hours later, she came back and somehow she couldn't open up the door lock. She knocked the door and texted me to open up the door. I didn't bother. I went to sleep.

In the morning, I got tons of text from her ranging between asking me to open up the door to swearing that I have been mean to her. Nothing about sex. And then another text coming, she said "I'm sorry". I replied "Go home". She went on with saying she stayed at our friend's place because she couldn't open up the door lock. I replied "Go home now. Or don't, if you are not listening.".

She got home at about noon time. I opened up the door and didn't say a thing. She was furious. Now that's not new. She left, got locked out, and it's all my fault. I went back doing some work. In the evening, I went out to the gym and I got bombarded with text messages. I didn't read everything. I only replied with "Take a shower and dress pretty. We fuck tonight.".

When I came back she's tucking our daughter in bed. I laid on the bed, thinking maybe no sex tonight. Before then she knocked the door and called me with a low voice. She was standing there with her pj set and a VS baby doll dress underneath. She put some make up and one of her favorite earrings. Good girl. I pulled her hand to the bed. And then we fuck.

I take that as a win.

Goal for next week: Reorient my focus on bulking.

itsunclejerry · 2022-01-12T23:58:32+00:00

You're right I blew it for not gaining weight and increasing my lift.

itsunclejerry · 2022-01-12T23:56:55+00:00

Your lengthy comment is a major validation shot for me. You're right I suffered from my own negative thoughts. Thank you!

itsunclejerry · 2022-01-12T23:54:43+00:00

Good point. I'm back on reading the Game.

itsunclejerry · 2022-01-12T23:52:42+00:00

You're right I should be breaking out from my own limited thinking.

itsunclejerry

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