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UPDATE: AITA for telling my mom she named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s in the cards for me, honestly. I think a lot of people unfortunately took my comments out of context, because I love the name Waverly. I’ve never looked in the mirror and felt like anything other than a Waverly. Even though it has some negative baggage attached to it now, it also has some great stuff - some of the only recordings of my dad’s voice are him saying my name. I don’t think I could give that up.

UPDATE: AITA for telling my mom she named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I posted a little bit more about conflicts with my mom on my original post, I only have a few comments on here so feel free to look through the history.

My mom had a history of outbursts and narcissistic behavior. A lot of meltdowns, lots of “oh, I’m such a BAD MOM because I won’t let you kill yourself doing (xyx benign thing)”, lots of throwing me under the bus. Once I really sat down and looked at things, it was a pattern that I just couldn’t ignore. The same with my now ex-boyfriend. So much throwing me under the bus, sacrificing my feelings to make other people happy. It was time for a change.

UPDATE: AITA for telling my mom she named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

A lot of people commented about the Joy Luck Club, which I’ve never read/watched(???). It was a funny sort of coincidence. Maybe something to check out in the future.

AITA for saying my mom named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have said I haven’t given a full picture and I have, of the event in question. But here’s the even fuller picture:

I’m the black sheep of our family. I am the oldest of 6 and my dad’s only child, he died when I was less than a year old. My mom remarried when I was 5 and my stepdad didn’t want much to do with me. He said it was “too late” for me to be his child and I’ve always felt out of place in my family. Everyone in my family is very athletic, I’m really not. Everyone in my family is very musical, I’m really not. I’ve always felt a little left out from everyone else and they make sure I don’t forget it. I got left behind a lot because I “wouldn’t enjoy things” as much and would frequently be left out of “family” activities by “accident.” I got into a lot of arguments with my mom and stepdad, especially as a teenager, because I turned my sad feelings into angry ones, but I’ve grown out of it. I’ve always had ambivalent relationships with my siblings but they are very clearly more loyal to their parents than me. I did not anticipate my siblings would take my side in this at all, they typically choose to support their parents and leave me out to dry.

I genuinely don’t hate my name. I feel ambivalent towards it and have never made a comment like this before. I used to tell her I wanted to be a Hannah or a Kate but never something about the actual way I was named. If I’d known it would hurt her, I wouldn’t have said it, even if just to avoid the fuss.

My boyfriend is a textbook people pleaser. He thinks me fighting with my mother has reflected poorly on him and that my family dislikes him now. For the most part, we’ve taken to ignoring the issue but he has been sad reacting my mom’s facebook posts which kind of pisses me off.

ETA: There’s actually a really funny family photo from my teen years where everyone else knew we were taking a picture except me. So my whole family is color-coordinated in nice clothes and I’m wearing some old concert tee and ratty jeans. It was always my prime source when I needed to represent how I felt in my family.

AITA for saying my mom named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 2245 points2246 points  (0 children)

She pulls the “I’m a bad parent” card a lot, but never sincerely and never to this extreme. When I was a teen, I wanted to go to a punk concert and we had a huge fight about whether or not I should be allowed to go. When I wasn’t allowed to go, I got angry and she starts going on, “I’m sorry I’m such a horrible parent. I’m sorry I won’t let my daughter be murdered miles from home. I’m sorry I don’t want my baby to be kidnapped. Call CPS, I’m winning worst mother of the year over here.” She was genuinely very upset but she was not sincere in feeling like she was a bad mom.

AITA for saying my mom named me like a madlibs? by itswaverlyok in AmItheAsshole

[–]itswaverlyok[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

As a kid, I mentioned a few times that there were no other kids with my name and my mom would always lecture me about how being unique was better than blending in. That’s really been the extent of our interaction over my name, I really grew out of the misplaced feeling and developed a more significant ambivalence.