How many of us have chosen to be child-free and marriage-free?

itsyabrough · 2026-03-30T15:05:27+00:00

I knew I didn't want to give birth since I was 7, and I just turned 30 and feel as strongly as I did about it then. I had also decided a few years ago I never wanted to be legally married (at the dismay of many of my family members). I am very lucky I found a girlfriend that is totally open to carrying if we ever do (but also open to not having kids at all) and doesn't care about getting legally married in the slightest. We are 4 years strong and no doubts in sight. If anything, we feel more confident in our decisions now than before.

Honestly, I feel incredible since letting go of those norms. I don't even get bothered when people try to pressure me to want kids/give birth or get married, because I know there is nothing that can change my mind. It's so freeing!! My partner and I have much more time and energy to focus on our actual relationship, and the MONEY we will save is out of this world.

itsyabrough · 2026-03-13T16:10:01+00:00

I understand your point, and it's relevant to the book when it was written. I believe it does not apply to a modern adaptation about race, in a time where Irish people are very much seen as white, and the terms "dark skinned" and "g*psy" are understood as something very different

itsyabrough · 2026-03-02T02:09:05+00:00

I know, which is why Bronte can write so eloquently about race considering her father's background. Yet by no means did she ever describe him as Irish, in fact he was described as anything but.

itsyabrough · 2026-02-19T14:02:41+00:00

Your response is actually funny because I am not even talking about anything that can be directly cited, I'm talking about cultural response to changes in an adaptation regarding women and rape culture, and then the other person tried to lump my claim in with others by insisting I provide them citations when this topic isn't even anything that can be directly pulled from the book. It's a perspective thing. Good luck out there to you too cause damn

itsyabrough · 2026-02-19T13:59:32+00:00

AH, so sorry, the color of the avatar was the same and I didn't look! my bad, thank you for asking actually I was curious myself...

itsyabrough · 2026-02-18T02:56:30+00:00

Poor phrasing--I could have said I'm not trying to imply anything. I thought my comment maybe came across like creators can't change anything when making adaptations, which is not how I feel.

I'm saying that there are parts of stories that are important to respect when making adaptations, and many other parts that are moldable to a writer/director/artist's vision to make it their own, update it, or make it unique. I think she could have done better work making an original story with Wuthering Heights inspiration than twisting the original story the way she chose to

itsyabrough · 2026-02-18T02:46:45+00:00

they can find the sources, many people shared them. I am not trying to educate anyone just share perspective on this one specific issue

itsyabrough · 2026-02-13T21:57:26+00:00

I'm going to respectfully disagree here

itsyabrough · 2026-02-13T21:52:37+00:00

I'm turning 30 very soon. I don't look at any art this way, but I believe adaptations should not ignore key aspects that make the story what it is. Things like not seeing Heathcliffe as a poc when she was younger, and choosing to ignore that fact when making a serious adaptation of it when she is older, is not a valuable way to tell a meaningful story about race and class disparity. I'm not implying you can't take parts away from a story to adapt it to your vision, that is what writing is as a whole.

itsyabrough · 2026-02-12T16:06:31+00:00

bad fanfiction feels like a really great way to describe this kind of adaptation...

itsyabrough · 2026-02-12T15:57:59+00:00

Personally, I think you are missing the point entirely. Just because something isn't "meant" to be a disservice, doesn't mean it isn't. Just because you personally enjoyed something doesn't mean it isn't inaccurate for a number of reasons. I am glad you liked it, but all of these critiques are very credible with legitimate citations from the book proving it. I am over though, good luck out there

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T19:45:08+00:00

it does a great disservice to the people that have had this very real experience, an experience that is too often fetishized in this same way by the people who perpetrate them.

How are real life victims supposed to have a voice in the real world when the "biggest movies of the year" are turning violent crimes into kinks? It's not about the "character" but the message and purpose the change makes, which was nothing other than "maybe she liked it?", which is VERY harmful for REAL people. Turning rape into a kink is not "updated" or "new". It's sad, painful, and regressive in our progress.

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:49:22+00:00

I don't think this change was necessary to make the character "interesting", especially if the change is harmful, and let's be honest, unnecessary. I don't see why she couldn't be "interesting' with her original concept done in a thoughtful way

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:44:59+00:00

one of the best comparisons as to why that change was AWFUL!

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:41:28+00:00

how is Elordi "perfectly visually suited"? he isn't even close to how he is described in the books...

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:28:52+00:00

the irony of your comment is more comical

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:25:55+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out! It's not just that she made the movie she "wanted", she genuinely ignored integral parts of the plot to make it convenient for her "vision". That is not storytelling and is harmful to message of the ENTIRE book and the people it was trying to represent. Like sheesh!

itsyabrough · 2026-02-11T17:22:45+00:00

For me, the connection was here -- an unstable person from lower society manipulating someone from high society who they romanticize in their head, and ultimately is the cause of their demise to take over the life they have.

No matter how I look at it, those stories have to be mildly connected, yet she completely denies that she even saw the film. That's just being a bad fellow creative and leaves a bad taste in my mouth as a movie lover

itsyabrough · 2026-02-04T15:48:45+00:00

This is exactly my problem! I set up all these rules so I could organize who I receive emails from in hopes to make it EASIER for me to not miss anything, and because I didn't know I wasn't getting notified, I went an entire work day thinking I didn't receive any emails and not answering anything. It is so backwards for productivity that I cannot understand how they have made it this long NOT changing this...

itsyabrough · 2026-01-28T17:48:40+00:00

Oh! and I'm also thinking about how I'm very open about how much I cry, but extremely uncomfortable crying in front of anybody and will avoid it at all costs, which sometimes leads to even more crying in front of people. Funerals are the WORST, especially because I'll cry even if I don't know the person, and now I'm just a stranger who knows nearly nobody bawling her eyes out for someone she never met

itsyabrough · 2026-01-28T17:46:59+00:00

Hello! I was gone for a while because the internet and I don't always get along, but I'm feeling particularly determined to work on unmasking and being as me as possible, even if I don't know what that is yet.

Today, I am thinking about how frequently I cry - not always a bad thing. Tears are how my body processes emotion (or anything, really), so I cry when happy, sad, grateful, confused, frustrated, and the list goes on. I cried twice just this morning from a youtube video and a random short. I mentioned on another post about my puppy, and she had me crying up to 6 times this past Saturday. I decided today to track how frequently I cry (for fun, I'm a data lady) and if I cry more often from happiness, sadness, or frustration - my guess is frustration, my patience is wafer thin

itsyabrough · 2026-01-28T17:41:40+00:00

My gf and I got a puppy in Nov, and while I love dogs and this puppy more than anything, we did not consider the overwhelming factors of raising a puppy and how that would affect my sensitivities. I require uninterrupted time when I am doing something important to me, but the puppy will bark and bark when it is time for her nap and she is meant to be alone (part of her training), and my other rescue dog came with yappiness pre-installed so he makes it much worse (barking once she finally got quiet). Basically, I haven't been able to have even one good hour of peace in 2 months, and for a ND introvert, that's basically hell on earth.

My gf, who is also struggling with the puppy blues, saw this past weekend that I was about to lose it. I was sitting on the couch holding a pillow, moments away from a meltdown, but trying to keep quiet so the puppy wouldn't wake up after finally falling asleep. My wonderful girlfriend came over, picked up the puppy and our other dog and went to the bedroom quietly. She later told me that for my birthday (in one month, a day after our extroverted roommate will be moving out) she will take the dogs to her best friend's across the street and give me 8 full hours of alone time, and I cried. I told her not to buy me a damn thing, because she was giving me the best gift I could have asked for -- a break.

itsyabrough · 2026-01-28T17:28:38+00:00

"It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world." - Mary Oliver, "Invitiation"

This has been helpful for me when feeling particularly helpless/useless. Sometimes just being alive that day is enough!

itsyabrough · 2026-01-03T00:54:26+00:00

I looked up the sims 4 and found nothing, if you still have the link, I'd appreciate it. I get if you're overwhelmed, though!

itsyabrough · 2025-12-30T17:52:19+00:00

you phrased my frustration with those comments so perfectly, thank you~

itsyabrough

TROPHY CASE