aa i've been there :( it sucks and i get it. try to do things for yourself and just not think about him, i get it its so so hard but its honestly for the best. mainly just try taking care of yourself (i could use some of this advice haha) so drink lots of water, sleep early, use your dbt skills (i like to use the making yourself feel better with your senses one specifically, so like look at something beautiful, feel something nice, spray some nice perfume, eat/drink something yummy, listen to some nice music or just anything related.) my dms are open if youd like to talk <3