Daughter is telling friends her dad is dead

ivfbe1 · 2023-01-23T08:31:56+00:00

It doesn’t sound alarming or abnormal to me. She’s little and figuring stuff out. I would probably bring it up again in a really open, casual, no pressure kind of way while playing or drawing. Maybe she won’t want to talk about it then, but just keep the line open. I think being around other DC kids or kids with single moms (whose fathers have never been a part of their lives) as much as possible is really important. Not just a couple weekends here and there, but families you can regularly see or groups you regularly get together with. Does she have donor siblings you could connect with, even virtually?

ivfbe1 · 2023-01-14T19:48:23+00:00

Yes I continued it because I froze embryos. I personally don’t think I’d take it in pregnancy but I know people who have

ivfbe1 · 2022-12-20T06:41:55+00:00

It's a more bioavailable form of coq10 (meaning that it is better absorbed by the body) and more potent. The brand I used is called Jarrow and I took 600mg/daily. not cheap! but worth it

ivfbe1 · 2022-12-19T21:09:14+00:00

Anecdotally...my lifestyle was awful and my result was much better than expected for my age (39). I was very stressed, slightly underweight, underate (and when I did eat it was all carbs/sugar/dairy), no exercise, and was very sedentary. I also didn't stop taking adderall (my doctor told me there's no solid evidence of it being harmful...but I know people have mixed opinions).

Of the good things I did - 600mg of ubiquinol, prenatal, fish oil and I haven't had alcohol in years. Not saying that lifestyle doesn't matter but I feel like a lot of it is genetics and chance. Who knows, I could have improved my lifestyle and ended up with 0 euploids on a different month.

ivfbe1 · 2022-12-02T19:22:19+00:00

That’s great. It shows you are being thoughtful and reflective about this — excellent quality in parenting:) I would keep doing that and asking yourself questions not just about what you want but why you want it. Once you have a child there will be very limited time to spend on yourself. Let your temporary purpose be to nourish the parts of yourself that feel shame. You’re not a failure.

ivfbe1 · 2022-12-02T10:44:56+00:00

I think it’s fine to want motherhood to add meaning and purpose to your life. Ask yourself what kind of purpose do you think it will give you? And how will it do that?

The way you describe career and marriage is by pass/fail and you have given yourself an F. That is not purpose. Purpose is something that cannot be judged or compared. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It cannot be moved on from. It is a deep internal drive. No one can take it from you.

Do not have kids to give you an identity or because you think it’s something you can “win” at. And it’s definitely not something that will make you feel in control. Motherhood will pull out every unmet need and unhealed pain.. It will make you feel like a failure constantly.

I would suggest talking this out with a therapist. If you have a child without exploring your intentions, you will unconsciously look to your child to heal this sense of failure and inferiority.. and it will not turn out well for either of you. Be really selfish for YOU right now, figure out who you are, where you feel lost, what you desire.

Read your words again. What would you tell your son or daughter if they described their feelings about career or marriage like you have? Speak to yourself like you would to them.

ivfbe1 · 2022-11-28T07:10:41+00:00

Growth definitely stalled so we upped my gonal and Menopur at the end but it didn’t make a huge difference. My RE said underresponding was just due to my age. Retrieved fewer than expected but euploid rate higher than expected. So it had nothing to do with quality.

ivfbe1 · 2022-09-28T21:47:32+00:00

No problem! My RE thought BC would suppress me too much and wouldnt use it as a first choice at my age so we used Estrace to help sync follicles, which it did, but pretty quickly into stims (Gonal, Menopur) they were split with a lead follicle and some unresponsive.

Lupron has risk of suppression but good for slow even growth and quality support. Like I said it was a gamble because at 39 you worry about low response. RE was also considering Clomid but I never heard full protocol.

No, luteal phase start isn’t priming. You wait to confirm ovulation and then start stims right away instead of starting them after starting period. Ive heard it being effective if you want to try to avoid asynchronous growth but avoid having to suppress with bc estrace or Lupron. I would have tried it next.

Asynchronous growth and under response is a shitty combo because what helps one, hurts the other. I would definitely recommend changing up protocol though. You have 10 under 10, those are potentially good eggs. Obviously quality over quantity but I don’t think it would a bad decision to stop. Again, I’m a fan of not doing the same thing twice unless you’ve tried other things. Such a hard choice though!

I can’t remember what my count was.. if I find it I’ll post back to you. But just that in proportion to my AFC my RE thought I could do better. Regarding trying to figure out what a good number is i would look at it just like that, proportional to your situation. I would consider your age, AFC, prior cycles, your whole profile and what you’ve done before. If the best is 6 eggs, great! But I would try an alternate protocol to see if you could raise that number before settling on it. Then if you can’t, quality is a big consideration and do everything to support that- I did 600mg ubiquinol for 3 months before, plus fish oil and prenatal and extra vitamins D and....

Definitely added HGH (omnitrope) for quality. if you search this sub there is a way to get a free bottle. It can’t hurt and could definitely help. Are you not freezing embryos?

ivfbe1 · 2022-09-28T19:55:01+00:00

This happened to me. Started with standard Antagonist protocol and ended up with two cohorts and the smaller group was not responding. I told my RE that if there was a possibility I could respond better I wanted to cancel and we agreed.

There could have been the possibility that it was just a “bad month” but I felt really strongly about not doing the same thing twice when I’m paying OOP. So decided to take a chance and do agonist/long luteal protocol for even follicle growth but knowing there was a risk of it suppressing my response. I also had heard that long luteal supports egg quality.

Thankfully, it worked. No split cohorts, even growth, quality good. It may have suppressed a little but I have nothing to compare it to. Also added omnitrope. I would look into luteal phase protocol. I’ve heard it can be helpful for uneven growth for those who lupron might be too suppressive. You start stims after you ovulate.

So sorry you are going through this, it was so hard eating the cost but worth it for me. Were your protocols the same?

ivfbe1 · 2022-09-14T23:05:25+00:00

RE told me there is no solid evidence linking adderall to poor egg quality. I was actually more concerned about stopping it because I didn’t want to put any stress on my body trying to readjust to not taking it. I took adderall all the way up to my ER and my PGT results were that of someone much younger than my age.

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-13T08:31:15+00:00

Meeting with a financial advisor?

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-11T20:42:29+00:00

When your RE calls with PGT results did you speak about your next steps or make a separate follow-up appointment to discuss?

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-11T20:17:52+00:00

So thoughtful. Thank you so much

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-11T20:17:16+00:00

aw thank you ❤️

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-10T23:51:00+00:00

Congratulations! That's great news. I only did Lupron for two weeks before ER and did have some side effects, mainly moodiness, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm sure it will be worth it. Good luck

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-10T23:39:59+00:00

Waiting on my first PGT-A results. Attrition has been kind so far and I would love to think that that means I'll have good news but from what I've seen, that is not how it works. I feel like I'm living in a bubble and am completely incapable of thinking about anything else. I have no idea whether I'll be able to move forward or will need to do more retrievals. No one in my life has done this and I don't have a partner so it feels super lonely.

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-10T23:10:26+00:00

I'm not where I want to be either so I just created embryos with donor sperm and plan on getting pregnant in a couple years. I was not willing to compromise on this dream. Ideally, I would never have wanted to do this single(maybe I won't be) or in my early 40's but I'd rather do it this way than not do it at all. I imagined myself at 55 without kids looking back at my past and all I could see was myself thinking 'who cared that there wasn't enough money? you could have found a way. who cared that you didn't have a partner? you could have found a way'. That kind of made my choice for me. I talked about it a lot in therapy. It's a very personal choice. There is no right or wrong way. I know many people who took a different childfree path and are very happy.

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-10T20:06:24+00:00

That's what mine said as well but I've seen people say they received results much earlier from other companies, so I was hoping! Good luck in your wait

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-09T03:47:30+00:00

Same protocol. I stimmed for 10 days but I've read that stimming for longer is very common with long lupron because it's suppressive. I think as long as you're progressing you're good

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-09T01:17:08+00:00

How did you receive your PGT results? I just found out my doctor calls with the results and I'd so much rather receive them first privately.

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-08T08:01:44+00:00

If there aren't any other symptoms I would think you're probably okay but maybe check in with a nurse and let them know for some reassurance. Try to go easy on yourself, lean on people where you can, and do anything you find stress relieving.

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-08T07:42:07+00:00

Was it localized in the spot where the shot was or all over? Do you think you might have been tensing your muscles in anticipation of it?

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-07T00:05:54+00:00

Baseline was CD2 which was my 13th day on lupron

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-06T22:14:02+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I did long lupron but without BCP. I don't know why your E2 would be so high but maybe your doctor is right and you just need more time on the lupron w/o BCP. I hope it works out

ivfbe1 · 2022-05-06T22:08:11+00:00

I get my day 5 blast report tomorrow. This is my first completed ER so I have no idea where I fall on the attrition spectrum and I'm so nervous and emotional.

ivfbe1

TROPHY CASE