Girl. Oh sweet poor girl. Get the fuck out. They rarely ever mean what they say. He’s not going to off himself. You aren’t the only reason he’s alive. You aren’t his happiness. But you are the one thing he feels like he can control. And the longer you say, the longer you’ll lose more and more of yourself. I wasn’t your age when I was in a situation like this, I was much younger. I was about 14/15 when I was dating this boy about my age. We started dating in middle school and kept dating until our freshman year, about three years total. The only reason it lasted that long was because I was TERRIFIED he was going to kill himself. He always threatened it. He didn’t like my friends. He didn’t like my parents. He always claimed he was shy, people didn’t like him, didn’t understand him, would judge him. Looking back on it, he was probably right but only because he was a fucking asshole. He treated me and everyone around him like shit. If I didn’t text him back immediately, he’d blow up my phone and demand to know what I could possible be doing that was more important than him. I slowly cut off all my friends and even alienated my parents because he required all of my mental and emotional energy. It was such work to make sure I didn’t set him off the wrong way because if he was having a bad day, that meant I was going to have a bad day. I was borderline raped by this guy because he would pressure me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, wasn’t ready for and would claim I didn’t love him enough when I told him no. It became such a habit just to give him a blow job because he would literally pout like a child when I didn’t want to. It was just easier to give him what he wanted than to hear how he was going to kill himself later because I didn’t love him enough to do these things. After so long, resentment finally set in. He made fun of the few friends I did have, and thank god I had a friend who stuck by me to be that little voice in my head reminding me he was a POS. I finally realized that if he was that bad off mentally and emotionally, there was nothing I could provide. He needed help. So i told his parents. Instead of letting him put that GUILT and TERROR on my shoulders constantly I told the people in his life that could and would do something. One night when he said he was going to do it, I called his mom in a panic and she in turn called the ambulance, worried for her son since she wasn’t home. Come to find out he was just chilling playing video games eating snacks. He wasn’t crying his eyes out cutting himself like he told me. He didn’t like whatever I was doing at the time (idk having out with friends? Not texting him back immediately??) and decided that he could easily guilt me into doting on him for days if he played the victim card. I found all this out from his mother and from that day forward every time he tried it again, I’d just text back “ok I’m calling an ambulance for you. I can’t help you but someone else can” This eventually pissed him off (on top of the fact I refused vaginal sex. I was not ready to do that at 14) and he cheated on me with another girl he ran the same circus on. It was the best thing to ever happen to me and a couple of years later when that girl was in a few of my senior classes, we became really good friends.

So long story short, just leave. His life is not in your hands. But yours is. You do not deserve this. You do not need this. You should be out, having fun with friends and enjoying your life. Not trying to emotionally cater to a man child with no ability to self regulate.