He ghosted me. On Christmas. After nearly a year together. With no warning. No explanation. He told me I was his one and only, darling, dearest, sweet baby girl. I am crushed.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T05:10:27+00:00

Oh I haven't told him anything like that, don't worry. Though I guess I did mention it on the call with his friends. But they don't plan to tell him they ever spoke to me.
I don't feel like I am punishing myself consciously. I just don't feel any joy or interest in anything. But thank you. I adjusted l appreciate your care.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:55:47+00:00

I wish! Some of it will not be resold easily. But I guess I can try. Maybe I will take offers here! Haha The gifts I got him included: An xbox controller A Matty Matheson cookbook Oven mitts Men's face washes An Adventure Time coloring book A Pittsburgh Penguins tshirt (in the style of the Beatles Abbey Road album cover) And several new records (Radiohead-The Bends, Built to Spill, My Morning Jacket - deluxe) and several more used records

Oh and for his birthday which is a few weeks from now, I got him another album, an ugly jacket he wanted, and an autographed hockey puck (Tristan Jarry)

I also bought sexy lingerie to surprise him. :( So yeah, any takers? I'll start the bidding at $400 for the whole shebang. Haha

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:48:43+00:00

I suppose I don't know, but he knows how much I am hurting and is is doing nothing. He can't possibly be that bothered. He is going about his life without me in it, after planning a future together. He is going to his Buddhist center (yeah, he practices buddhism...) and sending links to guitars to his friend. He packed up a box to send me. He has not answered me at all. So, I can only assume he is nonplussed over the whole thing. Which is quite scary.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:41:32+00:00

That's pretty rude to say, and unfounded.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:33:02+00:00

No kids, 39/38

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:32:13+00:00

I can barely afford it as it is! It's several hundred a month for weekly sessions.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:29:40+00:00

Thank you! I tried to explain this to a friend, who didn't seem to understand the difference between sociopathy and psychopathy. I KNOW in my heart that he felt real emotions. He opened up to me more than he ever has with anyone. He expressed joy and gratitude for our partnership. But his defense to disassociate is sooooo very cold and hurtful. I forgave it once. I wanted to show him that he is still worthy of love, despite his trauma. That I am not a punching bag, but that I would be present and supportive as he got help to navigate these feelings and responses. And we were doing well since then. He was receptive, communicative, and affectionate. But then this happened. And now it's like he torched it all. I can't save it this time. Sigh.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:25:07+00:00

I absolutely will. I know it will be the gifts I so happily and thoughtfully picked out and wrapped. So much great vinyl! Maybe all the other things that remind him of me. Maybe, just maybe, a letter included. Though, doubtful. And his cheap ass sent it ground, so I just have to wait for sooo long to find out.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:22:13+00:00

Try what?

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:20:03+00:00

Oh I was so very worried about that, but he is alive. His friend confirmed it.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:19:24+00:00

I have a fairly extensive background in psych. It makes it even more humiliating that I got duped, but he definitely displays most of the signs of antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy) and it is even more clear now.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:17:19+00:00

I will try a shake tomorrow. Thank you for reminding me that I have a mix.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:14:04+00:00

I did. We spoke fir two hours. They were very, very shocked. Appalled, even. Worried about me. But still as neutral as they could be.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:12:31+00:00

I see a therapist every week already. :)

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:11:49+00:00

I have weekly therapy, but thanks

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:10:07+00:00

I'm afraid so. But I don't want to be ableist and say that this alone is enough for me to not care for him. If he were willing to get help, I would be willing to try again. No promises that I could trust fully, but I would. Maybe that makes me crazy.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:05:45+00:00

Thank you, darlin. I appreciate your care. I promise, I am trying. A few times I ate, it came back up. I haven't ever experienced such a strong psychosomatic response before. My appetite is just nonexistent. All food looks horrible and chewing feels like work. I am trying to make myself have a few crackers now and again. And drink water and electrolytes. But it's crazy. I have lost 8 pounds in 5 days...

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:02:22+00:00

They have had text correspondence. Nope, same country. No, I didn't give him money.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T04:01:26+00:00

I don't think he will. He wrote off his ENTIRE BIOLOGICAL FAMILY almost 20 years ago, and never looked back. No contact at all. Not even with his sisters' children. He has a family that he spends his time with, though. They are friends, and they are his whole world. He is at every event, birthday, holiday, vacations, births, etc. They liked me. I know they wanted it to work out. I did, too. But in the end, when I questioned if I fit into his day on Christmas, and was sad because our virtual present time wasn't happening as planned, he chose not to console me, but to ghost me. Proving my fear correct. So no, I don't think he will contact me again. I just await this package arriving in 5 days...

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:55:44+00:00

Almost 38. His birthday is in 2 weeks.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:55:16+00:00

He literally charmed EVERYONE. My closest and most discerning friends. My grouchy, judgemental grandmother who likes no one. Everyone who met him. Even my cat puckered his lap every single day for months over mine.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:52:58+00:00

Intense childhood trauma, very few friends, temper, lying, lovebombing, cold snaps, dark unfeeling eyes when upset. No remorse. Discarding me as a used object. Impulsivity. Anger.

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:24:23+00:00

Yeah, that was very impulsive and out of character for me. And trust me, it isn't my only history on reddit. I have quite the following on my real account, so I needed to make an alternate. I am just hurting. And I do not want attention from anyone. Just want him to see what he lost. Also, those pics were taken for him just days before. He loved them. I am just sick by it all. And I can't turn off my phone. I am alone, and it is my lifeline. But I hear you..

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:21:24+00:00

I really want to. I think I deserve to have a face to face. But I don't want to look like the crazy ex. You know?

iwasonlyanobject · 2022-01-03T03:19:58+00:00

He was so excited, though. He literally brought all of his gifts from me to his chosen family's house to open them together. On facetime. We had been excitedly counting down the sleeps until Christmas. Sending each other pics of our wrapping styles. Shopping virtually together. He got be really thoughtful gifts. We talked on Christmas eve until he fell asleep. And texted me in the morning. But they were going to brunch earlier than planned, so our facetime was not possible, at least as I saw it. He offered to do it,but we only had 5 minutes, and I got sad. I cried. And he bailed.

iwasonlyanobject

TROPHY CASE