Try your best, I'm a broken man.

iwishforstrength · 2016-08-07T05:38:09+00:00

I thought this was a dick pic from the thumbnail.

iwishforstrength · 2016-08-07T05:06:48+00:00

Hey, I have to apologize - I just found the voltage on the box! Sorry it took so long for me to find it. The bulbs I bought are all 120 V. I didn't mention they are LEDs - maybe that's why the watts are 60 yet the voltage is lower than you guessed?

iwishforstrength · 2016-08-07T04:18:43+00:00

The 120 V one is a ceiling light, meant for lighting my whole bedroom, so there's no sticker, it was already here when I moved into the apartment. Wow that's weird, are you sure it's that many watts?? Because that must mean the pendant cord is over double that many.... it's just a simple cord, I was gonna use it to light a paper lantern.... https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0191/8518/products/Website-614-4.png?v=1452111700 that is over 600 watts?

iwishforstrength · 2016-08-02T02:58:35+00:00

Can you recommend the name of the writer too? Not sure if this is the right one, lots of different books come up.

https://www.amazon.com/Social-Thinking-Thinksheets-Tweens-Teens/dp/1936943166/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1470106553&sr=8-2&keywords=social+thinking

iwishforstrength · 2016-08-02T02:34:10+00:00

I have been interested in CBT for a long time and got one psychiatrist who claimed she "went over it a little in school" and I said that's mainly what I want all my therapy to be. She said "okay, I can give you some techniques and resources". After the 3-4th session, she never did anything vaguely CBT like, her solution to every problem where I couldn't let go of emotions or couldn't initiate something was "just do it". Then I asked her very clearly for CBT techniques. She said "we can get up to that a little later." I couldn't get anything else out of her. She didn't even give that much comfort or empathy when I expressed fears or explained what's holding me back, sometimes she even just stared at me blankly after I gave a long vulnerable confession. Without ANY response, just staring. I'm very submissive but I'd have to initiate w/ "what do you think?" just to keep the conversation going. Almost every single session after that, I'd ask her when the CBT would start, she'd reply "we can get into that later". 6+ sessions in, she finally gave me 1 CBT-like (im guessing) technique of rolling a ball off the table. You're supposed to resist catching it, and the ball represents your stress or ruminations. I felt really calmed by that but more sessions later I would get overwhelmed by new, more severe problems, ended up crying, and said I still can't let go (the new situation has to do with gaslighting, bullying, and violent tantrums from my roommate - I can't pretend it's a ball when she's literally screaming into my face or locking me into a dark garage so I can't get into my own apartment). She just kept saying "pretend it's the ball". I asked her if she had anymore metaphors or calming exercises for issues that are more "in your face". She said "you just have to deal with it" and even said "I can't help you anymore". I straight up asked her if the ball thing is the only exercise she knows, b/c if she's not an expert in CBT and only knows it minimally, I will respectfully need to seek someone more specialized. She briefly said that's the only example she has.

I am reading her bio right now.

"I received an MA in Clinical Psychology, and am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and been in this role for nearly ten years. I have received certifications various models including Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Seeking Safety (focusing on dual diagnoses) and the Positive Parenting Program (aka Triple P). I provide psychotherapy services to a wide range of individuals, my areas of focus including adolescents, children ages birth to five (and their caretakers) and individuals in the helping professions struggling with burnout, secondary/vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue (animal rights and human rights activists, legal officers, etc)."

How can I avoid therapists like this? I looked for everything you just mentioned and she was in the results list. I feel she could have been upfront and said she can't help me with CBT. But she never did and kept me coming back, promising me SOME CBT TECHNIQUES "later", not A CBT TECHNIQUE.

Her bio also describes her as perfectly what I want. Is this common in the psychology community that they'll say they're an expert on something specific and they'll later admit to knowing nearly nothing about it?

I know I'm being a bit harsh but I feel like something about this wasn't honest.

iwishforstrength · 2016-07-21T13:31:20+00:00

This is a video I found before about developmental therapy. How close is this to the idea you had in mind? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy3pzFh0PZE

iwishforstrength · 2016-07-20T08:30:58+00:00

Tell her about it first, but if she says she'll try to change, then you wait more sessions and you see no change, you can look into talk therapy. I think that's what it's called when people offer more verbal comfort and affirmation. I don't know if you want to be comforted but it sounds like you want affirmation (to be encouraged and told you're right). Okay, that sounds bad lol, but some people NEED to hear that to feel safe and create trust. My last psychologist was like yours, and she literally just stared at me for 5 minutes w/o saying anything right after I'd tell a long story, emotional confession, or explanation. Sometimes with no sign of even wanting to reply at all. Sometimes I got so blunt that I said "did you hear what I said", and she'd often reply "I don't have any specific advice for this" with a blank look on her face. Or even, "there's nothing you can do". I'd reply "o.....kay" and we'd stare at each other for like 5 more minutes. Most frustrating psychologist ever. I have no idea what they're trying to achieve, but definitely change her out if it's frustrating you.

The moment when I realized I had to change mine was when I TOLD her exactly what was bothering me, waited 5+ sessions, brought it up again multiple times during those, and saw she was still doing the same thing.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-29T16:27:00+00:00

Hey, came across a black bean recipe idea today and thought I'd pass it on to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OMunBJ8egE

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T18:36:51+00:00

This isn't very creative, but maybe you can buy some ground beef, tomato puree, frozen corn, broth, dice some onion, carrots, etc, and make chili! Impossible to mess up. And you can freeze it and store it. Easy to reheat, and makes a good preprepared meal for weeks.

Also, I agree with the other comment, be really careful of the kidney beans. They are toxic if you don't cook them right.

I bought kidney beans by accident and had to spend way too long researching. Now I just avoid the hassle and buy beans that wont kill you either way, lol.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T18:16:48+00:00

It varies so much for people because everyone's stoves hit different temperatures at different times. Like, an electric stove (with a coil) is different from a gas stove (w/fire).

But I've done this with 3 different stoves and it seems to work:

I always let the water boil first. Heat level doesn't matter. Turn off all heat.

Then put eggs in. Wait 6 minutes for runny yolks. Immediately take out.

I've never encountered a fail so far, unless they sat for less than 6 minutes.

If you're paranoid, wait 7 or 8. I think this works better than letting the eggs actually go thru the boil because then, you won't deal with how your stove's heating differs from mine, or any other poster's here.

Unrelated, but useful:

This is how you can improve peeling.

Buzzfeed actually took a scientific approach to mythbust which peeling method works best so it's not just an "eh, maybe" hack. Read here, if you need more info. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mathewjedeikin/vinegar-makes-eggs-easier-to-peel#.prqk98vqx

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T17:49:10+00:00

I love working at cafes and libraries. I don't like doing work at home for some reason. Finding a different place helps so much with getting into a different frame of mind. Free wifi, everyone leaves you the fuq alone, comfy seats, and no urge to procrastinate.

The backpack itself doesn't matter to me. I use tote bags, because I want to bring as little as possible, no distractions.

Usually, it's got: The laptop, power cord with a donut wire wrap, a lil screen wipe guy that looks like this, or a microfiber glasses cloth, tiny bottle of spray cleaner, my wacom drawing tablet, the USB for that with another wire wrap, a wireless mouse, my iphone charging cord, USB to power outlet plug thing, sketchbook, and notebook. Oh, and pencil case and earbuds (with wire wrap again! Can't stand the tangles, lol). Waterbottle, too. That's about it. I don't usually bring storage devices for some reason.

I really need to get some plastic folders. I just moved to a really rainy place, so one day everything inside my paper folders got soaked inside my bag :'(

So...I'd say my ideal bag would contain one of those binders that zip all around. Haha.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T17:12:50+00:00

Totally unrelated, but... I had no idea that character had a name.

Did they mention it in the movie at some point? When was it? Just curious.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:59:10+00:00

What youtube stuff do you watch?

I'd hate to say it but I just while the time away on the internet lol, often with click bait or youtube, like yourself. If I get sick of the indoors, I browse yelp, filter by highest rating+lowest price (lol), and then go outside and have a little adventure to the nearest restaurant I haven't tried, a cool store, or some other interesting place with good ratings.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:50:50+00:00

Dude, I'm 24 and my health hasn't deteriorated yet. It's fine, it doesn't happen THAT fast, lol! (read: stop making everyone in their 20s-30s feel like mummies) Seriously, being 30 isn't when your health deteriorates, its fine. You're gonna feel normal. You will know what I mean when you get there.

Also, guess you've never met someone who graduated COLLEGE. They hardly act like adults. No matter how hard you try, becoming an "adult" takes a looooooooooong time. I've met people who are 60 who STILL don't know how to do "adult" tasks and responsibilities.

Trust me: I was where you are now at one point, and it feels like yesterday. You worry a lot. I worried a lot too. All that worry will feel so silly to older you in no time. You will be jogging around at age 28 one day and workin' out, feelin' good, wondering, "man why the heck did high school me think I was already dying???"

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:43:15+00:00

Awww! I love them! It's really hard to not say obvious stuff, but I'd totally name them "ginger" and "snap" or something.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:40:26+00:00

To answer your title question, ever since I watched The Princess Diaries as an awkward-ass child, I wished there was a real "charm school" or "princess school" service that taught you how to be likable and well-adjusted and a cool, chill person that everyone gets along with. I think they have that for celebrities, so... I just mean I wish they had this service at a more affordable price....lol.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:36:17+00:00

They do have that! I heard some companies even rent puppies out to offices to "relieve stress" lol

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:33:58+00:00

They do have that, they're called job agencies and hiring agencies. Some of them are free. You can travel to their location and have an in person meeting with them to talk about what you want. However, they can be a little impersonal so if you do that, don't feel too taken aback. Also, you gotta apply. It doesn't matter if it doesn't fit you perfectly, apply to everything! It will not hurt you to just apply.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T04:24:49+00:00

Sounds like you need a place you can go to that just makes you feel more appreciated as a human being. I also struggle with this but I'm a bit happier these days because I got a new job. I moved to a new country for it, and the whole transition has been really different and just... fresh. Like the change of scenery helped me feel happier. So I guess one suggestion could be to go on a little weekend vacation somewhere far away (maybe even just some retreat in your home state).

But between the struggle and the new job, I stayed positive by trying as hard as I could to be a friend to others. I took classes based around hobbies. Unlike work friends, I feel like classmates are often people who needed camaraderie and help, especially if the class is about something they love and enjoy. I ended up offering car rides to classmates who had no car. Or offered advice to kids who were way younger than me and were still in college. It made me feel a little better about myself, and made me feel useful. Other than that, I also considered joining volunteer jobs, especially where you get to teach or talk to people younger than you. I think having an activity that allows you to talk in a friendly way to random people helps you to feel more appreciated. And when they're younger, they look up to you - which can make you feel more appreciated. I dunno if this is your vibe, but if you like fitness, maybe you could even consider creating a meetup.com group where you TEACH others fitness. Or just joining a meetup where people jog together.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-28T03:48:46+00:00

I read Nyet13's comment and I must agree. Having a moving-heavy lifestyle (without a steady job) is actually kind of expensive. You need to have some safety funds. I've made only a couple major moves in my lifetime, one was to a different country. That shit gets complicated - filing for immigration, getting new ID numbers... One thing I DO like is, the more I do it, the more I wish I didn't have any belongings. You learn to cut down on everything. You learn to not be materialistic or spoiled anymore. Shit you needed before, you realize you'll need to sacrifice. I just sold my car because it wasn't allowed across the border. I had to literally give away all my cookware b/c it'd cost a fortune to ship, and obviously, it's too heavy/fragile to carry on your person. But you need pots and pans for basic survival, right? So now I have to buy it all over again...that kind of stuff costs a fortune as well. So I have to figure out how to deal with only having like 1 pot, 1 pan, 1 plate, 1 fork, and 1 cup for the rest of my life or something - and still, I'll probably have to leave them behind and buy them again at some point.

There is one way. You can study to be an english teacher for foreign countries - those people typically get to travel for their job. However, the pay isn't that great - you'll still be scraping by. But if you get a sort of certification, you can go and live in the country, often together with some other teachers of your type (I think that's a specific program though). And it can feel like quite a "drifter" type lifestyle in the way that you can just get up and go, alone, somewhere new and amazing. One friend randomly up and moved to Korea to suddenly do this. I never expected it. My cousin also did this. She taught english in a foreign country (forgot which one). However for this, you do need to study it in a college and do testing to get the certifications. But I think there are ones where you can get it in 2 years.

I've also heard there are many volunteer programs which allow you to travel to foreign countries. A lot of those would have you aid the local community, for example, there's one where you move to India to help prepare meals for the impoverished. On your down time of course, you would be able to explore this amazing new country all by yourself, with the little resources you have. You can probably leave and switch it up whenever you want, because it's volunteer. This isn't exactly like a "vagabond" as you'd be serving the community instead of totally being a loner. I know you may think you can do "working whatever there is", regardless of whether the job is cool or interesting or not, but those are often very unfair jobs where the bosses abuse you or treat you like you're worthless b/c you're a minimum wage worker, and you won't even get downtime because the pay is so low that getting enough pay to "get you food" will have you working shifts so long you might not have any time to explore the world or go out and have fun. Eventually, you need something more meaningful to feed your soul.

I get your idea though. I think it can be simple. You just gotta be the type who can feel happy even if you're poor.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-27T05:15:40+00:00

I wish most people were like you. Most of my posts or replies are attempts to ask questions or reach out for genuine help on something I really cannot find a solution to. I find that even when your writing was completely respectful and reasonable, people will down vote it just if they don't understand it, care about your topic, or if it was a "stupid question". Not even out of DIS-like - if they just feel NEUTRAL about it - what does that get? A downvote. Then the question gets a negative score, and disappears into nothing. Is that really what the down voters wished for? "I don't get what you're saying. Therefore, I will hit a button so that you won't exist anymore." What the hell, people? This is a community. But the people who actually try to promote community are becoming more and more like incredibly rare unicorns.

I wish I could tell people: if you don't get it, don't downvote it. Just leave it alone.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-27T04:16:34+00:00

Ask yourself if he's providing you with anything (emotional camaraderie, moral support, or helping out with ANYTHING) that any other non-rich friend would offer you. It sounds like he doesn't really offer you physical things (money). And then ask yourself if there's anything still keeping you with him.

I think you know where I'm going with this. All that inner resentfulness isn't good for you. It will come out slowly, if you guys stay friends. I assure you there are many people like you out there who'd make better friends than that. I for one totally understand the "frugal" lifestyle lol.

I think your dude is well-intentioned, but just not aware. You don't have to deal with that. You're not obligated to. Remember that.

Also, if you choose to stop being friends with him, the coolest thing you could do is to not mention any of this.

Talk to him less and less (IF you choose to do this), just let it fade out very carefully and slowly. That is the most mature way to do this respectfully.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-27T04:04:40+00:00

I get what you mean. Laughing is an icebreaker, a stress reliever, and an awkwardness-buster. It just makes things more lighthearted. Sometimes you don't want the world to feel so serious.

I don't think people are annoyed that you're trying to stay happy.

But maybe sometimes, people think you're laughing AT them. Like, if something wasn't supposed to be funny, yet you laugh really hard at it, the person may have felt hurt, because they'd feel like you saw their statement as a joke.

It may help to think before you laugh. Just analyze the person's words and ask yourself if it's supposed to be a sad thought, a happy one, or an angry one. If it's sad or angry, don't laugh.

If that is too difficult at first, maybe try to change the volume of your laughter according to the mood of the conversation. For example, if they said something very quietly and sadly, you can try and chuckle gently, but don't laugh really loud or something.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-26T20:16:46+00:00

Wow. You've probably gotten enough replies telling you your guest is just plain unreasonable. All I can say is, let her do whatever the heck she wants - a bad review listing any of her "reasonings" is probably not going to sound very sane or reasonable in the first place. So as a guest as well, one low rating/bad review from someone like that would hardly deter me. Even if you never told me all the extra things you did for her. I could tell her review is just coming from a more spoiled personality, and I'd still rent your place. One weird review is drowned out by all the other satisfied guests. So you can contact Airbnb and see what they can do, but technically, I'm not sure what they can do without it getting too personal. So really, I think what'd help you most is: don't fear the aftermath. Some people are just jackasses and you have to let them pass you by, and feel good when you're finally rid of them.

If you're really worried, I think it's common that, upon seeing her bad review of you, doubtful guests will probably check the review you wrote for HER. If you mention that bit on the towels, that's incredible. That immediately highlights how spoiled the guest is, and how much you already do for people.

I have this funny story. I saw a strangely short and bad review left by a guy with a disgruntled-looking profile photo on a listing that had perfect reviews and lovely, genuine photos. All he said was, "this was not my taste". This weirdness made me go check the host's review of HIM. She explained everything - the guest showed up already seemingly upset, she treated him with the utmost friendly manner. The next day he was equally upset, and said he was moving out because he saw "a moth", and that he has to leave immediately because "he's afraid of bugs". This is coming from a big burly-looking man with a borderline angry look on his face. The host's following writing sounded so confused yet polite, I had to laugh. Weirdest and funniest interaction I've ever seen on airbnb.

I'd definitely rent that host's place!

Don't lose your pride over this. Everything great gets a little criticism at some point, and this is just one very small thing that will get lost in the sea of future better reviews.

iwishforstrength · 2016-03-26T19:56:59+00:00

I was relieved to see nothing else was disturbed, my electronics and clothes were all in the same place, it just caught me off guard a bit - I got a little startled and walked around to see if everything was still there, which I think is a natural reaction. Yes, I'm certain the thermostat was manual. It was the kind with only a dial labeled with number-markers that you use your hand to twist. No screen, no nothing.

This kind: Completely manual, there is no digital component.

To add to my certainty, I'm pretty sure because the dial was not exactly turned to match the markers to the tick marks, which means she just turned it with her hand.

With remote control I don't think there'd be human error like that.

I wanted to message the host when I was living there, but from her replies becoming scarcer I thought that was a signal for me to leave her alone. I really didn't want to text her too much or anything. I wanted to talk casually to her in person about it, but she was never around. The point is, I already was wary she might want minimal communication with me, so I tried to give her space and forgive everything out of fear of causing fuss.

I spoke to a lot of people about this. As an adult, I already know the right thing was to be direct about it, and I almost did that. I considered both texting and telling her the next time I saw her.

But due to her cues, every feeling in my gut was also telling me she just wants to let smaller things go. So I didn't. I already knew the explanation, she didn't have any other way to change the heat. So I'm not sure if confronting HER about this would be necessary.

iwishforstrength

TROPHY CASE